I´m going through a lot of changes at the moment. Most of these changes are by my own choice. After 2 years, I finally stopped smoking weed, which had become a daily habit. Then I had to leave my best friends behind, a pair of twins. Our friendship had become unhealthy and negative, in the end I only felt bad when I was around them. I guess we grew apart and ended up wanting different things in life. I am very happy about being strong enough to make these changes, because I know that they in the end will lead me to live a much better life. But right now, I just feel so stuck in this transitional phase. My best friends where my everything for the last 10 years. Everybody always joked about me being the third twin. We where childhood friends, did so much together, and we have so many memories. We had one big fight where we ended up not talking for about 8 month 2 years ago, but I feel that this time is different, and if ever, I think it will take years if we´ll ever talk again. But I guess by then we will probably not feel like it anymore after being separated for so long. One of our close mutual friends also stopped talking to me since I chose not to have the twins in my life anymore, and I feel so hurt and abandoned. I really thought that she was my friend too. I also got my boyfriend to stop smoking weed, and since then we lost even more friends. So many, so called "friends", in the end it really only was the weed bringing us together. Of course I´m happy that I have my boyfriend, I´ve been through 2 other relationships earlier, and I know it might sound naive coming from a 23-year old, but this guy, he truly is my soulmate. I´ve never felt anything like this before. So I really do feel blessed, but now that my best friends, and so many other people that used to be a part of my life are all gone, I can´t help but feel so incredibly lonely. At least I feel that numbing myself with weed is no longer an option, but I have such a hard time trying to handle all these feelings. It feels as if all my walls have been broken down, and every single negative impression can break me down in a second. This is the first time in years that I feel this down. I meditate, I work out, I eat well. It doesn't matter, there´s always this huge gaping hole in my heart. Still it feels wrong, waiting for something good to happen. I know it will take time to adjust to this new stage in my life, but what should I do meanwhile? The summer is coming soon, and all I can think of is how I´ll be alone, while everybody else is enjoying there time with lots of friends.
*cuddles* I am very proud of your achievements my gut is telling me tht if u can change your life in tht way, you can get over your current emptiness. Im sure alot of ppl have felt lonely in points in their life. I hope you will soon get friends that truely deserve u. Im in a similar situation, the advice im stickin with is to just keep myself busy doing tasks i enjoy. Having fun is important since we r only given one life. Well i do wish you allthe best. Please do feel welcome enuf in letting us know how things are progressing. Best wishes. x
Sadly I don't have much advice for you, I've never been through that before. I do know that addictive habits like drugs or alcohol can be a binder for friendships when you do nothing but those things together. You hear about ex alcoholics who had to leave all their friends behind, not just because of the negative influence but because being alcoholics really was the only thing they had in common. I do find that interesting. It's good that you know you're doing this for your own good, and I suppose all you can do right now is hold onto that and avoid slipping into old habits and friendship groups that may negatively affect you once again. You might just feel like you're missing a big part of you, because you are. When I let go of my depression several years ago, I had lost a part of myself that I'd always known. It was... weird. It was definitely a good thing, but it took a while to get used to being a happier, healthier person. I also had to cut away many of the people that were in my life whilst I was depressed, having bonded with them over such issues, when I started getting better I realised they weren't ready to take the same steps, and they were bringing me down again. I know this isn't the same thing at all, but it's the best example I've got! The point is, it's simply an adjustment period. Always remember that you won't regret making your personal happiness a priority! Maybe look into doing some of the things you couldn't do while you were your old self, and focus on your partner. Sorry I'm not more help. In any case.... Wishing you all the best!
Each person is alone. We share time and space with others temporarily, but we are always "stuck" with ourselves. Everywhere you go, there you are. You can't ever escape yourself. None of us can. When you find yourself feeling alone, that is a good opportunity to love yourself and become like a friend to yourself. We all need to have self-reliance, self-comfort and even self-company. If you find that you can't stand yourself and you want to escape yourself .. then you need to do more work on you. Know that saying, "can't love anybody else unless you love yourself first"? In other words, relationships and friendships will be troublesome if you don't truly love yourself. In your alone time, enjoy YOURSELF. Consider it a gift of time, instead of a "punishment" or burden. You might likely learn things about yourself you are unaware of.
if you can't be friends with someone because you don't do the same drugs that they do, they're not really your friends. if you feel like being around them was dragging you down, it's probably best to be away from them. you didn't say what the nature of the fight was, so there's no way to comment on that. it's good to get rid of bad friends, and generally it's good to keep friends that are more good than bad.
I think you have made a wise choice. Maybe the friends that you have taken a break from will think the same way as you someday. Don't think of what you feel that you have lost - think about what lies ahead to be found.
