Living with a small penis

You're welcome.

I think you're thinking too much into this whole thing. I personally think the whole submission thing you're talking about has more to do with the historical aspect of how women were perceived over the years, centuries, what-have-you, than anything else. Of course, in nature you would see males being a more dominant ones in many species. But even that isn't so in EVERY species, for there are species where the females are the more dominant ones. As for the humiliation aspect, well, where'd you get that idea??

So, in short, all female sexually is NOT necessarily tinged with submission and (especially) humiliation. The way I understand it is that the whole submission/humiliation stuff is more personal preference, or fetish, than anything else.

I don't think that's necessarily chauvinism. It sounds to me like it has more to do with your getting a kick out of others making mistakes than anything else. In which case, it would be more like......sadism of some sort?

Now, worry not. In the book "For Yourself: The Fulfillment Of Female Sexuality", Dr. Lonnie Barbach says that sometimes it's better to actually take your fantasies to the extreme in order to stop dwelling on those ideas, or to avoid actually acting them out for real. This is actually a piece of advice she has given to a mother who has developed sexual feelings for her daughter, but I'm positive the basic idea behind it is the same.

I'm an advocate of this method because, when you're trying to suppress your feelings for a long time, it may become that much more difficult for you to keep it under control over time. Because, well, these things might build up, you know? So, what you do is to fantasize about whatever you want to fantasize about, and then you totally blow it up in your mind. I have my own fetishes and things, but I fantasize about them a lot, and I also write about them a lot as fictional stories. There were times when I was a bit worried about my sexuality, but I've been able to feel sexually healthy again via these methods.

Umm, question: is she able to have an orgasm by herself? Or, have you already provided this information?

You don't necessarily have to "win" once in a while in order to keep going, no. Love/sex is not a competition. It's a journey that two people go on. It's really about giving. Because you give, you receive. And that why when you receive, you give. If this can't be done naturally, and pleasantly, then that relationship isn't as harmonious as it may seem in my opinion.

It's definitely good that she doesn't fake it. Lying doesn't help because that in my book is betrayal. That wouldn't boost my ego, and therefore I wouldn't wish that on anyone else. I certainly wouldn't fake it.

Okay, I know you mean well, but I don't think you have a very healthy attitude toward sex. Yes, it is important that you focus on the giving part, but that doesn't mean you should sacrifice your own pleasure in the process of doing so. If you aren't enjoying yourself, then how can your partner enjoy herself? By denying yourself of orgasms, you may be reducing the level of your partner's pleasure, too.

My girl says the same thing about my dick, too. But you know, for some girls anything above 4.5 inches might be big. Certainly big ENOUGH. If you are positive that you two communicate well, then my suggestion is to BELIEVE HER.

You are simply assuming things. First off, I personally think that worrying about whether or not there are people out there who fantasize specifically about not being able to achieve orgasm is irrelevant in this case. Second, most girls, or the ones I have interacted with over the years, fantasize about the penises of those they find attractive. Penises don't make men attractive. It's the men as a whole who make the penises desirable. If those men have small dicks, then that's what they fantasize about. My SO doesn't replace my dick with a big one when she fantasizes about me. Honestly, I wouldn't care if she did that because I don't intend to dictate the contents of her fantasies. But she doesn't, for the simple fact that she doesn't feel the need to.

So, refrain from making assumptions. Rather, pay attention to what your partner says. If you two communicate well, then that's good. Now, try to make it even better. Forward and upward momentum is a good mentality to have. Be open and honest about your feelings, what you discover during sex, what you find challenging. Listen to her side of the story, her concerns, what she enjoys, so on so forth.

 

This^^, My wife and I have been together for about 22 years and I'm packing your standard straight 6, so nothing special here.

Getting to know how a woman's body responds to stimulation is very important. In the last couple of years I started to read a lot more about the subject and while we always had a good sex life, now it is pretty damn amazing at times.

By learning how a woman's body responds and how my particular partner responds, I can often get her to a point of arousal so intense that when I do go for penetration, she often cums like gangbusters at the first thrust.

It's all about knowledge, communication and confidence.
You're stressing WAY too much over this.

 

Women live with a small penis every day: It's called a Clitoris. Except for comparative size, it amounts to pretty much the same thing, doesn't it? That is all defined when sexuality is determined in the womb.

 

I think my attitude twards sex is fairly healthy. With my ex it was a different matter - at that time I was sexually psychotic, with nothing else on my mind - always pleading for sex with my sexually uinterested girlfriend.

It's not that it's a competition. It's just it doesn't feel right that she never "gets" there when she has with other guys and does on her own.

 

Well, something is not quite in harmony, though. For instance, your perception of your penis, to me, isn't particularly healthy. Your perception of women as the result of your perception of your penis isn't quite healthy, either. With your ex, you were frustrated because you weren't getting any. With a girl like that, though, pleading tends to make the situation worse. So, you got even more frustrated, and the only thing you could do was to plead even more. Yeah, that's unhealthy, lol. xD

But with your current girlfriend? Tell me how the relationship is NOT headed toward the unhealthy direction, if it hasn't entered the unhealthy realm already. You say you two communicate, but for some reason it seems like there are certain pieces of info, or certain emotions, or whatever these things are, that aren't being transmitted back and forth between you guys. You say you sometimes WANT her to fake an orgasm just so you can gain some false sense of pride, motivation, self-confidence, call it what you will. But the bottom-line is, it would be FALSE, it would have been born out of a LIE. Is that healthy?

And getting back to the size issue, you and your partner got a vibrator that was bigger than your penis, but for what reason? I believe the words were "to give her what she was missing, quote unquote". Quote unquote by who, your girlfriend?? Now, if you are totally fine with this, then that's totally cool. Except you are NOT, or else you wouldn't have made this thread in the first place. So, from your posts, I can't help but interpret that you got this big toy because you can't deal with your penis size, while your girl, despite her insisting that she's fine with your size, also can't deal with it, and to make the matters worse, she can't orgasm with you and you're blaming it all on you, but at the same time, you already seem to know the answer to your problem. Which is to try harder, never giving up, to keep communicating, blah blah blah. But you're not DOING them. You're TALKING ABOUT them, but you aren't DOING them. You said it yourself that you don't put a lot of effort into pleasing your girlfriend. All you're doing is just saying something to the effect of, "I know I know, but....." or "It's wrong to think this way but......" Well, you already KNOW. So why aren't you dealing with it?

Sorry if I sound harsh, but this is just the way I look at this whole thing. Right now, you seem to be fixated on certain aspects of sex, and the human sexuality, but those parts don't need as much attention at the moment. Your girlfriend isn't being much help either if all she does is make it sound like everything you're doing is fine. That is NOT the right way to communicate. You have to open up, both of you, and you have to be frank about what's going on. Don't just say she'll only blah blah, or she's not this, or that, without spending a lot of time really communicating with her and trying to find out more about her. If you can't do that with this girl, then she ain't right for you.

 

Bitter a twisted attitudes get in the way of pleasure?

 

just because your not packing a big cock doesnt mean you cant get a amazing woman to love you and your small cock and be faithful to you. me and my girl met 5 years ago when i met her she had just gotten out of an abussive man with a large cock she told me she hated sex with him and was happy i was small she now could have sex confortablly and quickly became very interested in sex we fucked like rabbits. i only have a 4 inch cock im 24 and i also am very thin. anyways she moved to florida for school and told me to go with her once down there we started to party and i found out her intrest in sex had taken her to other men i found out she was having sex with a couple of boys she partied with when i confronted her she said they got her off and atleast she could feel there cocks. and said that one had atleast twice to offer and i honestly knew she was right after about a year and a half of basically living side by side she came to me adn said she wanted to be together forever and now worships my little dick after a couple hospital visits i now suffer from premature ejaculation and she still lets me slip in her non stop even though it must be almost impossible for her to be getting any pleasure esecially since we have a 8.5 half inch dildo in the nighstand when i slip in her for 20 seconds and bust but she says knowing im all hers makes it the best part of her day. and she would rather me be behind a dildo then having another man get to use her body love can over come all. i get my dicked sucked anytime i want because she doesnt havve to jam a huge cock down her throaght for 20 mins she getts to bob on my little tool for 45 seconds. i love the girl to death and her slut youth makes me appreciate her more

 

Nothin wrong with a bit of slut!

 

The confrontational post, we meet again.

This is a variation of the speech all people I meet eventually give me. I moan, complain, bitch, and then when I am reassured and given aid, I shoot it down and continue moaning.
I blame ten years of therapy. Ten years of therapy has only taught me how to counterargue any advice or comfort and be oversensitive to clichees and empty words.
"You say it's OK, but the thing of it is..." etc.

Blow by blow here (trying genuinly not to simply reply: "yeah, but...")
My perception of my penis is, I'd say, fairly healthy. I know it's not big, but I'm not depressed about it. I accept it as unchangeable and try to make the best of it. I don't fool myself into thinking it's something it aint, and try to compensate in other ways.
What should I do? Pretend there aren't bigger dicks out there? Dicks that would give a girl intense pleasure...?

With my ex, yes I begged. Big mistake. I even jerked off in bed while she was lying next to me, because I wanted to get off. Mistake.
I make no bones about that. I f*cked up, and I will always miss her and love her.

Yes, with my current gf, the communication isn't as good as it should be.
Unlike my ex, who talked during sex (dirty, guidance, helpful, commenting, etc) my current gf doesn't breathe a word during.
Sure, I oughta break that silence. But... it's hard. I dont wanna break the mood or make it awkward... So I remain silent as we both try and push each other into the position we wants (often settling for the wrong position rather than asking the other to reposition).
So, I dunno...
With my ex we talked about sex all day long. With my current, sex is limited to that time of day and that place. With my ex we even used directions from books and videos, "learning together". We knew what the other liked.
Now... I just recently found out my girlfriend likes doggy style. Who knew?...

The vibrator: I genuinly bought her/us the vibrator for her pleasure. I wanted her to get more pleasure, truly. Nothing more. I wanted her to moan more, feel more pleasure, which turns me on.
And it worked.
Though she was hesitant to use it while I was there, I convinced her.
Lying next to her, seeing her put that large, powerful vibrator inside her - pushing it further and further in, turning it higher up and lying completely tense and still, with closed eyes - really turned me on. Seeing her getting into that true sexual trance... Really hot.
_Because_ the time before last we had sex I almost left the bedroom during sex because I got really upset by the fact that she seemed completely uninterested in the sex. She just seemed bored and was just softly stroking my back while we were doing it. Should I have said something? Sure. But instead I bought a vibrator, which actually seemed to make her more into "it"...

And though she said she "preferred the real article", I really felt the vibrator did something I couldn't, and afterwards - and here's the deal - I felt like she really got more into "my penetration"...
Who da thunk it?

 

Account I read from a soldier in Afghanistan, and of course, that's another lame war & war is total waste. But they stripped this dead Taliban down to find out if he had a suicide vest on under his clothes & afterwards they nicknamed him Abu Dujon Holmes because he had a schlong all the way down to his knees.

Only problem is he's dead. :sultan:

 

No thanks!

 

It's the magician not the wand.

Sent from my Galaxy Mini (SGH-T499) using Tapatalk 2

 

Those poor virgins....

 

Lmao! All 70 of them are so in for it.

 

I second that. Not to mention it's in a part of the world where women are still treated like property, and can be married off pretty dang young too.

 

I think he (or....she?) was referring to the 70 virgins Muslims believe they receive when they die.

 

yeah, having small junk sucks dude, I hate it...It makes having sex very awkward and nervous for me sometimes...Im pretty comfortable with my boyfriend and hes comfortable with my body, but Im not comfortable with my body most of the time...the good thing is it makes getting bjs easy for other dudes though, so its not all entirely bad.

 

Lololol

 

We went skinny dippin in a river on a mountain pass so I was living with a very small penis for a while today