Little Johnny ...(and little Jill) Jokes

Teacher: If we are organising something, and Plan 'A'; doesn't work, what is it that is said we do?

• Johnny: Stay cool, - there are another 25 letters in the alphabet

 

Teacher: Johnny, If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?
Johnny: Seven.
Teacher: No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?
Johnny: Seven.
Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?
Johnny: Six.
Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?
Johnny: Seven
Teacher: Johnny!, where in the heck do you get seven from?

• Johnny: I've already got a cat!

 

Mother: Hello Johnny, you look pleased with yourself. Was it a good day at School?
Johnny: I am, all my Teachers think I'm a God
Mother: ? Really ??

• Johnny: Yes, Every class that I went into, the Teacher said "Oh God - it's you"

 

* It was Twenty minutes before school was due to finish, and the Teacher posed a question.
Teacher: If anyone can answer this Maths question within 5 minutes, then they can leave school now.
- Peter,Paul and Mary each pick 3 Apples, Jack and Jill select twice as many as the trio's total, John, Paul, George and Ringo share 20 apples between them.
- - How many Apples grew on the tree?

• Johnny: All of them Miss ... Goodbye

 

Teacher: What is the Capital of England?

• Johnny: 'E' miss

 

Teacher: Johnny! Stop that now! God watches us, all the time you know.

• Johnny: If God is watching me Miss, the least I can do is be entertaining.

 

Teacher: Are you going away during the school holidays?

• Johnny: I don't think so, I heard my Mother tell my Father she can't deal with all the emotional baggage she has to with me in tow