Little help/advice

Discussion in 'Bisexual' started by Tom1, Sep 30, 2013.

  1. Tom1

    Tom1 Member

    Hi everyone,

    I'm looking for some help/advice.

    I've been with my partner now for 12 years (straight relationship - i absolutely adore my partner and would move the world for her to make sure she is happy and looked after) but i've had a desire to experience a guy for a long time.

    For years i thought there was something wrong with me but for the past few years i've come to the conclusion that i can find both males and females attractive and lust after both and i'm happy with that.... it's just the physical part now.

    I'm comfortable in myself with how i feel, my partner knows and fully respects how i feel and WANTS me to go out there and try a guy too - i'm just too bloody nervous!!! With ladies i wouldnt have a problem but with a guy i just cannot get myself to do it - although i really want to! Has anyone else experienced this?

    It's a desire that needs itching.

    I have MB infront of several friends when i was much younger and i did MB a complete stranger at a known dogging site but it scared the crap out of me - i wasnt relaxed, didnt enjoy it, was scared about STD's and was also very nervous. Something that i wont be repeating again in the same circumstances.

    Now i'm looking at ways that i can experience a guy where i am comfortable... i want to enjoy it.... but how do i go about doing this? are my feelings of being extremely nervous normal? have you experienced this? if so how did you get over the final hurdle?

    Any help will be greatly appreciated.
  2. kurona

    kurona Member

    take what i say however...

    make really sure your wife is ok with this and shes not urging you to squeeze info. some think its all cool early on as well... just be aware a lot have had divorce over such things - directly or not. to get around that, do not lose communication with your wife every step. and dont let yourself get too absorbed by this and miss cues that shes giving.

    on STD, the safe route is to simply assume they are and proceed with that in mind.

    figure out what 'kind' of a guy do you like -_- ... yer nervous coz youve no idea, youre not prepared - normal to any human

    another idea is... why not consider having a 3rd guy in bed? your wife is there for support, she doesnt feel 'left out', and you do it in the comforts of your own home. everything is in the open... its as secure as can be....
  3. unclassified

    unclassified Guest

    Kurona's advice is all good. The wife appearing supportive is one thing, but I would highly recommend that you try a threesome or even just let your wife be involved at first. If you approach it as a team, it may help alleviate some anxiety. It is a totally scary trying to find the right guy to do this with...I wish you luck.
  4. Tom1

    Tom1 Member

    Thanks for your responses guys. I trust my partner to be completley honest with me. If she didnt want me to explore with another guy then she knows i wouldnt.

    I agree and think that we may have found a resolution for the whole guy thing - 3 sum sounds good.
  5. teddyboi

    teddyboi Visitor

    keep us posted, keen to hear how you get on. glad u have such an understanding wife

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