I best see the doctor then. I've been wondering why poop has been surfacing on my lawn, and was going to call the septic company.
Every time you lick a stamp you gain 1/10 of a calorie Toto was paid $125 a week during the filming of the Wizard of Oz "Pants" used to be considered a bad word in England Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lightning than women There are as many chickens on this planet as humans You have enough microorganisms in your mouth to equal a cockroach A sneeze leaves your mouth a 100 miles per hour The electric chair was invented by a dentist. And the first one was built partly by a prison inmate. He later died in it for murder Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark The oldest piece of chewing gum is 9000 years old (Thanks Pub Ammo. Where would I be without ya..)
John Merrick (The Elephant Man) whose namesake, The Elephant Man's Disease (or Neurofibromatosis) actually died from a more severe genetic form of the disease called Proteus Syndrome Hotwater
The earth is rotating at 1,000 mph, while orbiting the sun at 67,000 mph, while its solar system orbits the galaxy at 500,000 mph, which moves relative to the center of its galactic supercluster at 1,400,000 mph.
Pittsburgh Pirates' pitcher Dock Ellis was under the influence of LSD in 1970 when he pitched a no-hitter against the San Diego Padres. "I was in Los Angeles, and the team was playing in San Diego , but I didn't know it. I had taken LSD..... I thought it was an off-day, that's how come I had it in me. I took the LSD at noon. At 1pm, his girlfriend and trip partner looked at the paper and said, "Dock, you're pitching today!" That's when it was $9.50 to fly to San Diego. She got me to the airport at 3:30. I got there at 4:30, and the game started at 6:05pm. It was a twi-night doubleheader. I can only remember bits and pieces of the game. I was psyched. I had a feeling of euphoria. I was zeroed in on the catcher's glove, but I didn't hit the glove too much. I remember hitting a couple of batters and the bases were loaded two or three times. The ball was small sometimes, the ball was large sometimes, sometimes I saw the catcher, sometimes I didn't. Sometimes I tried to stare the hitter down and throw while I was looking at him. I chewed my gum until it turned to powder. They say I had about three to four fielding chances. I remember diving out of the way of a ball I thought was a line drive. I jumped, but the ball wasn't hit hard and never reached me."
The word "queue" is the only word in the English language that is still pronounced the same way when the last four letters are removed. Adolf Hitler was a vegetarian, and had only ONE testicle. Slugs have 4 noses. It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open Earth is the only planet not named after a god A cockroachcan live several weeks with its head cut off! Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a "Friday the 13th." In 1386, a pig in France was executed by public hanging for the murder of a child "Rhythm" is the longest English word without a vowel. Of all the words in the English language, the word 'set' has the most definitions! In the weightlessness of space a frozen pea will explode if it comes in contact with Pepsi. Smearing a small amount of dog feces on an insect bite will relieve the itching and swelling. The Boeing 747 is capable of flying upside-down if it weren't for the fact that the wings would shear off when trying to roll it over. Approximately one-sixth of your life is spent on Wednesdays. King Henry VIII slept with a gigantic axe A dog's naked behind leaves absolutely no bacteria when pressed against carpet Although difficult, it's possible to start a fire by rapidly rubbing together two Cool Ranch Doritos There is a seven letter word in the English language that contains ten words without rearranging any of its letters, "therein": the, there, he, in, rein, her, here, ere, therein, herein.