Limp handshakes

Estate agents are the devil incarnates. They seem to hate me I swear every single one of em has nearly broken my hand.

When an estate agent comes, I run away. I may be developinga fear of them... not good since my dad works at an estate agency XD

 

do the lady handshake and have no shame. fingers DOWN. those fuckers nearly break my hands all the time, too. first they SLAM their hand into mine, practically bending my thumb back and torquing my wrist at a horrible angle and jarring my whole body. then they squeaze all the teeny tiny bones in my teeny tiny soft hands. fuck 'em. fingers down with a graceful squeeze. you gotta take care of yourself first.

 

i'm making my hands stronger just so i can crush more peoples hands

 

I just worked it out actually. Guys who have excessively firm hand shakes are compensating for the fact that they have limp dicks. So next time a guy crushes your hand, just remember it is because he is IMPOTENT! The more gentlemanly mannered of us, well, I'll leave that up to your fertile imagination.

 

i'm torn here, between my anger at being crushed and my love of fitzy...

 

I fancy one of Kelis' milkshakes.

 

fitz, you wouldn't crush my fingers, would you? they're very sensitive and tender. i can't give a rub if my hands are crushed.

 

i don't crush ladies hands KC

 

okay. i'm a delicate flower and all that.

really, it's just because my hands are SO SMALL. like, abnormally small. you know how kids will either draw a stick figure with huge hands or just fingers coming down off an arm? my hands are the just fingers at the end of an arm. they're actually very nice hands, and strong for their size. but i have a very hard time wrapping my hands around the majority of people's hands.

 

I so cannot stand it when girls dont shake hands properly.

 

and i'm not impotent, nor am i compensating for anything

 

I don't trust people who give weak handshakes. I laugh at people who squeeze too hard.

 

I like it when ladies do that. Then I kind of cup it more than shake it. When girls shake hands like a man, it makes them seem masculine.

 

I hate it when someone gives just their fingers, or when you squeeze too tightly and their hand was just kind of there.

It creeps me out. I am not sure why, but I get this creeped out feeling. O.O

 

Oh my god, I just laughed for like 10 minutes.

 

Me too. It's like I'm scared of slimpy limp handshake sons of bitches. Well, ok: motherfuckers, that's what I meant to say.

 

Nothing is worse than a limp handshake. I believe a firm handshake and a straight look in they eye does say something about the person.

 

no handshake, or hug, or other casual expression of well wishing can ever be perfect, because what is limp to one recipient might be bone crushing to another.

high fives are good too, and almost impossible to do limply. but high signs are sufficient to indicate one is unarmed, which, if i recall, was the origeonal concept of shaking hands.

meh, its all no big deal to me. people are none of them perfect, neither myself as one of them. tangable infrastructure, its tecnologies, and making and keeping them in harmony with nature's cycles of renewal have always fascinated and been of slightly greater intrest to me.

though avoiding the causes of each others unhappiness IS important. the most important thing really, about anything to do with people/awairnessess, earth human, tangable, or of any other form.

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