Im not reading any of this, none of this new stuff. Not sure why im here. Drunk for the first time in a long time, like years. Well, I drank a few months ago, but years before that. Don't do hard drugs anymore. Don't hardly drink. I still smoke. Life has been hard. It probably is for all of us. Ive seen people beg for there lives, been to prison, had a fucked up childhood. When I was younger I gravitated towards hipforums for whatever reasons, used to post here a lot, like 20ish years ago. Pressed rat and bubbles and who whatever. Even met people on here. we are all on a different trip. speaking of, I gave KJ some mushrooms (yep put you on blast) But what have I learned since then? Not much except you gotta take chances, it hasn't gotten any easier, actually harder but you gotta get harder also. I tried to kill myself once. Dont try to cut your wrists, it hurts. I hope I never go back to prison, I have two strikes, I hate prison. I think I will make it. Ill keep trying and taking chances. Peace Out
it doesn't have to mean anything. just notice all the little things no one else sees. like if you see a mouse, you've been blessed by it. life happens. and then it doesn't. and then maybe you'll be a little alien infant on some random world to grow and live. the only thing we need to worry about is not to mess it up for everyone else. which i worry about all the time. not sure why except that, i still like to dream the kind of world i'd like to live in. no idea how much that affects anything, but i doubt i'll ever be entirely convinced that it doesn't statistically, to some tiny extent.
Good to see you back! I used to be HipChris... but I got more active when I became and admin to help Skip. Life's a bitch. It's never been easy. I am glad you are surviving. Being in California is difficult these days. Keep in touch and see how the rest of us are coping with today's stressful insanity.
This happened to me 28 years ago matey, I didn't give up on life then, and I'm not about to now, despite a whole host of illnesses and disabilities !!! Was in the Law centre on my own one Saturday just before Xmas. Spent all day there and managed to get a lot of work done. When I left around 16.00 I took a few files to work on at home too. Walked through the town to get some shopping and as I came out of one particular shop, the bus I needed went sailing past. I was too far away from the bus stop to run after it. It was raining and the wind was blowing the rain into the bus shelter, so it was useless standing waiting for the next bus. Instead I crossed the road and went into a local pub, got my tot of Brandy, found a table and an empty chair and sat down. Lit up a cigarette and sat thinking of the work I had been doing all day. Suddenly remembered something I needed to do on one particular file, took it from my briefcase and wrote a few notes. By now it was nearly time for the next bus, stubbed out my ciggie, swallowed the last of my tot and went to stand up. That was as far as I got. Huge pain under my ribs and couldn't breathe, felt like I'd been stabbed with a red hot poker. Publican saw me, realised I was in trouble and rang for an ambulance. Paramedic in the bar helped me, got me back on the chair and then down on the floor. The Ambulance arrived and I was scooped into the back of it and connected up to all these machines which were all bleeping. The paramedic said something to the driver and we moved. Despite it being a late Saturday afternoon and a lot of shoppers doing their xmas shopping, the ambulance had to carry me across town amongst all these shoppers. They managed to do so in less than 5 minutes and I swear we went round one corner on two wheels. I was kept in hospital for a week - that was my first Pulmonary Embolism - I've subsequently had 4 more.
