is most magnificent. I have a collection of nearly all of his material. So, I thought I'd share this one for those who haven't read it. It is most magnificent. The Two Clocks Which is better, a clock that is right only once a year, or a clock that is right twice every day? "The latter," you reply, "unquestionably." Very good, now attend. I have two clocks: one doesn't go at all, and the other loses a minute a day: which would you prefer? "The losing one," you answer, "without a doubt." Now observe: the one which loses a minute a day has to lose twelve hours, or seven hundred and twenty minutes before it is right again, consequently it is only right once in two years, whereas the other is evidently right as often as the time it points to comes round, which happens twice a day. So you've contradicted yourself once. "Ah, but," you say, "what's the use of its being right twice a day, if I ca'n't tell when the time comes?" Why, suppose the clock points to eight o'clock, don't you see that the clock is right at eight o'clock? Consequently, when eight o'clock comes round your clock is right. "Yes, I see that," you reply. Very good, then you've contradicted yourself twice: now get out of the difficulty as best you can, and don't contradict yourself again if you can help it. You might go on to ask, "How am I to know when eight o'clock does come? My clock will not tell me." Be patient: you know that when eight o'clock comes your clock is right, very good; then your rule is this: keep your eye fixed on your clock, and the very moment it is right it will be eight o'clock. "But--," you say. There, that'll do; the more you argue the further you get from the point, so it will be as well to stop.
A Watched Clock Will Never Boil Unless its really a boiling clock,Where the time vanishes into thin air,Producing maximum entropy production!In a humble and ubiquitous phase transition,While, curiously, the smaller anything becomes,The more often it will violate the arrow of time.Boiling clocks running backwards more often,Convince invisible pixies time is but a joke,Anyone has all the spacey-time they want!All any requires, is invisible pixies with attitude!All that anyone has ever needed to go home again,All anyone has ever needed, to find themselves again,Time speeding up yet slows down just in the nick of time!Where does all the time go approaching the speed of light?Yet, the shadow remains, but the memory of the eternal light!The invisible light in the dark pointing out the end of the tunnel!Where the smallest pond can shed light upon the truly Big Picture,Where the smallest molehill grows into a mountain of bullshit overnight.Where both a Goldilocks Principle and Murphy's Law rule the universe itself!"Fascinating" said Mr Spock on Star Trek, "Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations,"But I fail to see what could possibly be so funny about humor being intrinsic to spacey-time.
Looky here say you have a clock face 12 hour and the sun is up high in dah sky so that if you have a stick or piece of string
Time and the keeper of a raven or the holy dove is it real or does it last I'll tell you this … it doesn't last or then maybe it does is it truly timeless in time's eye? A moment forever spent or as a picture or broken clock How we wonder where it went.
A Joke Ok, so the day came when St. Peter, who to this day still stands at the gates of heaven, to judge those who were destroyed in Sodom and Gomora. One walks up to the gates, and St. Peter asks? Did you learn anything from your destruction? The guy replies: "Yes yes sir, I learnt my lesson good." "Ok" said St. Peter. I have only one further question, but it's about golf. St. Peter then proceeded to ask: "Is there anything better than a hole in one?" The man from Sodom and Gomora was thinking to himself: "I know this is a trick question, but I don't know how to answer." He ponders the question for 5, 10, 15, 20 minutes, and the people in line behind him are getting impatient ... 30, 40 60 minutes pass as he ponders the question. "Get on with it man! It's getting cold and we need some rest". Shouted another in line behind him. So, he decides he wouldn't answer at all and made a break for it! He tried jumping the fence in attempt to break through heavens gates, so St. Peter called in a couple angels to bind him hand and foot and cast him into outer darkness, so he may receive further education. The next guy comes up to the front, and St. Peter asks the same of him. "Yes St. Peter, I have learned well." "Is there anything better than a hole in one?" Asked St Peter. The man replies: "Yes there is … "Two holes in one." St. Peter says: "Welcome my friend you may enter. God is a Jealous God indeed, and She Knows your needs." It came time for the man in line who was getting impatient to see St. Peter. "Have you learned your lesson from your destruction" asked St. Pete. Yes! Yes! Yes! You damn well know I have! St. Pete exclaims "Holy Fuck! ... … and as God comes out SHE grabs the man herself and says: "Get your fucking ass in here Now!!!" St. Pete was baffled. He had never seen her do that before. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot just happend? God replies, it's exactly as you told the other guy. " God knows the need" St. Peter asked "What was his need. I was thinking he needed more patience." St. Peter, you can be such a dip shit sometimes. Replied God Then it dawned on him and he shouted "Holy Mother Fucking Shit!" She said: "Exactly" and from the heavens a voice of a King says "Thank ya Momma" and a song:
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ With all due respect Lewis Carroll (Charles Lutwidge Dodgson) was a pedophile One writer took it upon himself to describe how events would have played out in the papers and at trial court had he been around today Children's writer Lewis Carroll was a "seriously unmarried bachelor" who befriended pre-pubescent girls and told them ambiguous tales while taking their photographs, the Old Bailey heard. Carroll, 31, who is being tried under his real name Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, is a mathematics lecturer at Oxford University who writes unusual books for children. "The court was told of Carroll's love for Alice Liddell, whom he first met when she was four. "We became excellent friends," he wrote in a diary seized by detectives. Carroll enjoyed picnics with little girls, took them on boat trips to a shaded park, and even allegedly proposed to 11-year-old Alice when he himself was 31. He is a quiet man, prone to bouts of melancholy. He was arrested last month in an all-units police raid, part of "Operation Wonderland". The middle-aged logician and math don, who has never married, was charged under the Pedophile Act, in connection with a stash of suspicious photographs. They were removed from his Oxfordshire house.
