Let's talk.

That is not good Vlad.
There is medication, not sure if you can take it with other meds?

 

You're a genius Candy.

 

I just didn't know where else to post them.

 

Images like that make money from the fast food industry on stock websites.

 

It took me an hour to cook. lol

 

You're a professional.

 

“A little boy and his friends are being called bastards and bitches by bullies at school. The boy goes home and asks, "Dad, what are bastards and bitches?" And his dad replies, "Bitches are ladies and bastards are gentlemen." Then the boy goes upstairs to see his mom. As he enters the room, he accidentally drops a perfume bottle, and his mom says, "Shit!" "Mom, what is shit?" and she says, "Perfume." So he goes to see his dad (who is carving a chicken), and his dad cuts himself and yells, "Fuck!" The boy asks, "Dad, what does fuck mean?" and dad says "preparing." Then he follows his dad upstairs. A few minutes later his mom and dad are about to have sex when his dad says, "Where are the condoms?" The little boy asks, "What are condoms?" and his father says, "Condoms are coats and jackets." The following night his father invites over some important business clients. The boy opens the door for them and says, "Hello! Please come in, Bastards and bitches. Hang your condoms up here, my mom is upstairs rubbing shit on her face and my dad is downstairs fucking the chicken.”

 

Time for bed said Zebedee

 

I'm old enough to remember all this !!!


Back in the days of tanners and bobs,
when Mothers had patience and Fathers had jobs.
When football team families wore hand-me-down shoes,
and TV gave only two channels to choose.
Back in the days of threepenny bits,
when schools employed nurses to search for your nits.
When snowballs were harmless ; ice slides were permitted
and all of your jumpers were warm and hand knitted.
Back in the days of hot ginger beers,
when children remained so for more than six years.
When children respected what older folks said,
and pot was a thing you kept under your bed.
Back in the days of Listen with Mother,
when neighbours were friendly and talked to each other.
When cars were so rare you could play in the street.
when Doctors made house calls ; Police walked the beat.
Back in the days of Milligan's Goons,
when butter was butter and songs all had tunes.
It was dumplings for dinner and trifle for tea,
and your annual break was a day by the sea.
Back in the days of Dixon's Dock Green,
Crackerjack pens and Lyons ice cream.
When children could freely wear National Health glasses,
and teachers all stood at the FRONT of their classes
Back in the days of rocking and reeling,
when mobiles were things that you hung from the ceiling.
When woodwork and pottery got taught in schools,
and everyone dreamed of a win on the pools.
Back in the days when I was a lad,
I can't help but smile for the fun that I had.
Hopscotch and roller skates; snowballs to lob.
back in the days of tanners and bobs.

 

The Irish Army found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of €1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be. The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of €72,000. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with €96,000. The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Quartermaster who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my penis to my testicles.'

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two Officers had received. But the old Quartermaster insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measure was taken by a Medical Officer. The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the man to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The Medical Officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Quartermaster's penis and began to work back.

'Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your testicles?'

The Quartermaster calmly replied, 'Afghanistan.'

 

'Explosive device' found in central London as police put street on lockdown​

 

Has Boris farted ???

 

Soul do a new Beach thread. X

 

Hear.
Hear.

 

Yays!

 

I will do Beaches are us later.

 

I luv beaches

 

Me too and Soul will post lots of cool sounds.