Let's talk.

Don't worry darling. xxx

 

nOOO LOL

 

oK XXX
i MUST GO NOW. XX

 

Bert, at 85 years of age always wanted a pair of soft spike golf shoes, so, seeing some on sale after his round, he bought them. He was so delighted with his purchase, he decided to wear them home to show the Mrs. walking proudly into the house, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?

Margaret at age 83 looked him over and replied, "Nope.

"Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the new golf shoes.

Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?"

Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan response, "Bert, what’s different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow.

Furious, Bert yells out, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"

Nope. Not a clue", she replied..

"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW GOLF SHOES!

"Without missing a beat Margaret replies, "You shoulda bought a new hat."

 

Primary School Children Writing About The Sea
1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)
2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jamie age 6)
3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island . If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent. ( Wayne age 7)
4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)
5) A dolphin breaths through an arsehole on the top of its head. (Billy age 7)
6) My dad goes out in his boat, and comes back with crabs. (Emily age 5)
7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)
8 )I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)
9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)
10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)
11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)
12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.(Becky age 8 )
13) On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny (Julie age 7)

 

Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2, which had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as Lads Night Out 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.

Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better. I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually, I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancee 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with Free Sex Plus and Clean House 2018. Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch Turbo Strop and Whinge.

These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is. Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring Shoe Shop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every sixth week.

Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Porsche 911 or Mercedes Estate hard drive, it often crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called Mother In Law, which can't be turned off.

Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2018, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2018, it tends to delete all of Money before uninstalling itself.

Please advise ASAP Technical Support urgently required.

 

LOL SAM XXXX

 

Well it is Soonday.
This week flew by.
I must cook my leg of Lamb.

 

I hate members that steal ID



Saweetie Harper | Icy girl, Female rappers, Girl

not a member of HIP.
I will report this.

 

I haven't been so enamored in all my life... Each breath I breathe, every heartbeat & passing moment, I feel a pleasant trust. It's this persistent thing... It's like progressing and growing like a baby in my thoughts and soul.

And what's really got me is trusting someone. It's SOOO hard to trust people I don't know where to begin. I'm starting to trust her.

 

I'm curious... Did someone say it was their photo?

 

It is an avatar but I think they also send pics saying it is them.

 

How sad is that Gal?
Some people could do with getting a life!

 

A rapper star would never join Hip.
It is Identity theft.

 

Good night everyone.
I am tired. X

 

Same to you for later. Xxxx

 

Sim-swapping: UK police arrest eight over attacks on celebrities​

 

She is like me on Hip only reading the first paragraph of someone's post.