Let's talk.

All mine are from my phone.

Time for bed now.
I will post some jokes tomorrow.

 

Nice! Have a good night!

 

You to for later Randoom.
You must chose a theme for the party at Rainbows bar. X

 

Let me clear my head after today and I'll come up with one. It's been a long day.

 

Back on January 9th, a group of HELL'S ANGELS, South Carolina bikers,
were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee
Dee River Bridge. So they stopped.

George a Marine and their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his
Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was
trying to talk her down off the railing, and says "Hey Baby . . .whatcha
doin' up there on that railin'?

She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to
miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked, "Well, before
you jump, Babe . . . why don't you give ol' George here your best last
kiss?"

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did
just that . . . and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed
immediately by another even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval
from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and
then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real
talent you're wasting there, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you
rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."



It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.

 

Quasimodo passed away, the bishop of Notre Dame decided he needed a new bell ringer so he advertised the position, deciding to hear the applicants, he conducted the interviews at the top of the bell tower, after listening to several applicants he’d almost decided on who he wanted when a man with no arms rushed into the bell tower, “ please let me be your next bell ringer” the man pleaded, “ but how can you ring the bells with no arms” asked the bishop? “ I’ll show you” the man said, he then proceeded to run into the bells hitting them with his face, the bishop had to agree that the armless man did make a pleasing sound, and decided to offer him the job, suddenly the man stepped back and fell to his death, just then another man runs into the bishop, “please bishop let me take that mans place, for he was my brother and I too am a bell ringer” says the man, but before the bishop can make any decisions the man also steps too far back and falls to his death, the bishop runs down into the street where the two men lay, a crowd is gathering, and one man, looks at the man with no arms and says “ who was that man bishop” “ I don’t know” replies the bishop, “ but his face rings a bell” the man then looks at the other man “ what about him” “ no idea” says the bishop “ but he was a dead ringer for his brother...

 

Bobs wife and Bob started dieting a week ago.
His wife proposed they should have a cheat day today
She brought home McDonalds burger, KFC,wings, and Bob brought home his secretary.

From his hospital bed Bob is wondering when men will ever begin to understand women.

 

Several years ago a study by the British, was conducted into why the head of a mans penis is bigger than the shaft, at a cost of £1.2million and three years of researching, it was concluded that it was to give the man more pleasure during sex.
The French ,however, didn’t trust the research done by the British so decided to carry out their own study, after four years of research and a cost of three million euros they concluded that the reason the head of a mans penis is bigger than the shaft is to give the woman more pleasure during sex
The Irish didn’t trust either the British or French findings, so they decided on doing their research, after three weeks and £75 quid, the Irish researchers came to the conclusion that the reason why the head of a mans penis is bigger than the shaft is..to stop your hand flying off and hitting you on the forehead..

 

Omg! You guys. So today I did work in a old prison that is being converted to a rehab facility for drug addicts. Kudos for it happening. Anyways. I got done early so I decided to walk around to check out it. I enter one of the pods. I started to feel uneasy. I kept going in. I was checking out the rooms and what not. Then when I enter the shower area. I suddenly felt sad, angry, and I wanted to rage. I stopped by one of the stalls. I can just feel the negative energy all around and begin to visualize what happened in there. My energy was sucked out of me. I had to get out I manage to walk out of the room. I can just hear the screaming that's going on. I then was drawn to this one hallway. It was dark with little light. Part of me wanted to keep going and the other part was telling me no. I have never ever felt something that bad before. I'm still calming down and still enraged. Not like before. I feel bad for anyone having to stay in there and hope no one feels what I felt. That was the worse of the worse that I had ever experience.

 

I have never been arrested in my life and I don't plan on it.

 

I think you told me. That's crazy

 

A married man was visiting his “girlfriend”, When she requested that he shave his beard. “Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face.” James replied, “My wife loves this beard. I couldn’t possibly do it. She would kill me!!” “Oh please?” the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice… “Really, I can’t,” he replied. “My wife loves this beard!!” The girlfriend asked once more, he sighed and finally gave in. That night James crawled into bed next to his wife while she was sleeping. The wife was awakened, turned toward him, felt his face and said, “Oh Michael, you shouldn’t be here. My husband will be home soon!”

 

....

It is turned Midnight and today is Happy Hump Day.
Right?

 

i DUNNO it is Soonday. But hey ho

 

Yay !!! - Soonday roast with all the trimmings !!!

 

More on the 3rd.

 

These are political times Sam mate.

 

Two days away.

 

I’ve got a couple friends that know about such places, one that works in a prison, and another that has done some time.
I’ve heard some incredible stories, it’s definitely not a place for the weak. The way society is, the average person gets plenty of chances to straighten out. My friend was just always getting into trouble, things started off slowly, eventually with him doing weekends a few times. He would report to the county jail on Friday and they would let him out on Sunday.

He kept getting into more trouble and the judge finally gave him a few months in the county jail, as he put it. When I asked him how jail was? “It’s a piece of cake” This happened a few times, finally the judge had enough and he was sent to state jail. The first time he was in a little over a year when he got out he seamed a little different. When I asked him again how jail was “ I’m not going to screw up again “ The second time he was in a little over 5 years, he was a changed man after that.

My friend that works at the jail is also changed from the experience, he had a difficult time relaxing and separating himself from work. He has finally found a way and his life and marriage is much better. He doesn’t like the job but he says it plays the bill’s.

 

Well, today is the last day of January.
I guess this damn pandemic has taken its toll on so many of us.
I am trying my best to take a positive attitude, it is often not easy.