Let's talk.

Oh my!

 

While stitching a cut on the hand of a 75 year old farmer, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Donald Trump and his role as the President.

The old farmer said, " Well, as I see it, Donald Trump is like a 'Post Tortoise'.''

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post tortoise' was.

The old farmer said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a tortoise balanced on top, that's a post tortoise." The old farmer saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain:

"You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he's elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put him up there to begin with."

 

No time to talk much today.
But I had good news.

 

Somehow I knew that you had a pocketful of 'em, Candy. The first one is going to my wife as soon as I get it printed out. All those three are going to be translated into 'Merkin' references, for distribution wherever I can place 'em. Thenk kew.

BTW, stay healthy, ok?

 

I am always here to help my lovely.

 

Candy, guess I need to add this. Spouse-unit just tested positive from exposure week and a half ago. My (34 yrs together), dumb bitch won't wear a mask around her rural, ignorant family gatherings. (And we're BOTH retired nurses!) Seems to be, now eight days into it, one of the mild 'feel-like-crap-for-a-week-or-two' type of cases. Fingers crossed.

 

Keep me updated.
Thoughts and prayers for you both. Xxxx

 

Spank you.

 

HA XXXX

 

Time for bed said Zebedee.

 

A girl visits her doctor and tells him she has a terrible discharge.
"Okay, take your knickers off spread your legs and lets check it out" he says.
She drops her knickers opens her legs and he has a good feel around.
He says "how does that feel?"
She says "Wonderful, but the discharge is from my ear".

 

A man joined the army, and signed up for the paras, after completing a series of jumps from ever higher structures he was ready for his first jump from an aeroplane, the next day he called home to tell his father all about it, “so did you jump.” asked his father, “ well let me tell you what happened” replied the man, “ the sergeant asked for volunteers about a dozen men got up and jumped” “is that when you jumped.” asked his dad, “ erm, not quite” replied the young soldier “ the sergeant then grabbed the men one by one and started to throw each one off” the father asked again, “ is that when you jumped” “ I’m getting to that”, replied the para, “as I was the last man I told the sergeant I was too scared to jump, but he tried to throw me off anyway, but I managed to hang on to the door, he said if I didn’t jump he would kick my ass” , “ so you jumped then, right?”said the father, “ well, no,” said the soldier, “ he called the jump master over,” replied the para, the jump master was about six feet five and about eighteen stone of solid muscle,” “ the jump master asked if I was gonna jump but I told him I was too scared” the jump master pulled down his trousers and took out his penis, I swear dad it was about ten inches long, the jump master said, “ listen boy, if you don’t jump I’m gonna stick this little baby right up your ass”
“ so did you jump” asked the dad, “well, a little.....at first.” replied the para

 

A vampire bat flies into his cave, his face is covered in fresh blood, as he hangs upside down ready for a rest, the other vampire bats become very excited, smelling the fresh blood, they begin to question the bat but he wants none of it, after some time, fed up with the other bats pestering him , he gives in and agrees to show them , off they fly, across the fields, over the river until they came to a clearing in a forest, all the other bats are now very excited, “ you see that big tree in that clearing “ yes, yes scream the bats now in a frenzy, “ well I bloody didn’t “ says the first bat..

 

More tomorrow for you. x

 

Love ëm!!

 

I have plenty more for you Joel. xxxx

 

Awesome!

 

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