Let's talk.

I went a little crazy on the job applications. I signed up for a over 30 positions; some of them too far from home. The job-search engines are a little behind the times I'm afraid as there's no way to make your applications inactive for jobs you changed your mind about. I'm not driving to LA. Santa Barbara I'm less opposed to, but it's also far. I'm hoping for something that doesn't require a huge gas expense. Maybe I could trick them into financing my commuter fees!

 

Ask???
Why not?

 

Hahaha brilliant. I've seen the female orgasm. I know it's real. X

 

Did the earth move? Lol

 

She said it did . Lol

 

Show off. X

 

Aaaahhhhh!
So I am not the only one confused around here?!
That’s good because I thought I was losing me flipping marbles!

Just sitting down now to watch football Tottenham V EVERTON (My Team) on Sky Sports.

You better wish me luck.
Or else!

 

Not big on footie whats you team?

 

I talked it over with my family very briefly. They said to simply take the job anyway if one is offered at long range.

 

Really?
Keep us updated. X

 

“A panda walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender motions to a young woman. She talks to the panda, and they go back to her place. After having sex, the panda abruptly leaves. The next night, the woman goes to the panda's house. "You owe me money," she says. "For what?" The woman rolls her eyes and explains, "I'm a prostitute." The panda pulls out a dictionary and looks it up: "Prostitute: Has sex for money." The panda says, "I don't have to pay you. I'm a panda. Look it up." She is about to protest when the panda hands her the dictionary. The woman looks up "panda" in the dictionary, and it reads, "Panda: Eats bush and leaves.”

 

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong,
One who's willy's thick and long.

One who thinks before he speaks,
When promises to call, he won't wait weeks.
I pray that he is gainfully employed,
and when I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.


He will pull out my chair and open the door,
massage my back and beg to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who will make love to my mind,
and knows just what to say, when I ask "How big's my behind?"


One who'll make love till my body's a twitchin,
in the hall, the garden and the kitchen!
I pray that this man will love me no end,
and never attempt to shag my best friend.


And as I kneel and pray by my bed,
I think of the dickhead you sent me instead.

Amen

 

You ought to sue.

 

It's not mine. lol


An 85-year old man went to his doctor to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a glass jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year old man reappeared at the doctor's surgery and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what had happened and the man explained:

"Well, Doc, it's like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing.

"She tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in and then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door, and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked: "You asked your neighbour?"

The old man replied, "Yep. No matter what we tried, we still couldn't get the bloody jar open."

 

“A small boy asks his Dad, "Daddy, what is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense." So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father having sex with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Shit."

 

Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning.

Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, "Mabel, did you know you have a suppository in your left ear?"

Mabel answered, "I have a suppository?" She pulled it out and stared at it, then said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is."

 

hahahahahahaha

 

You and your changes today Raintop. x

 

I'm reliving my HF experiences.

 

I can tell. xxx