Let's talk.

Not the same news article though. lol

 

Do I need our confusing thread? lol

 

Once upon a time there was a little yellow toad crying in the forest.
The good witch came along and asked the little yellow toad, "Why are you crying, my friend?"
The little yellow toad said, "All my friends are green and I'm yellow. I want to be green like all my friends... sniff... sniff."
The good witch replied, "No problem!" and she tapped the little yellow toad with her magic wand and the yellow toad turned green... all except for his private parts, which remained yellow.
"Oh no," exclaimed the little toad. "I can't go through life all green except for my private parts! You have to make me green all over!"
The good witch said, "Sorry, I don't do private parts. You will have to go see the wizard!"
So, off the little toad went to see the wizard.

The good witch continued on into the forest, where she came upon a little brown squirrel crying very hard.
"Why are you crying, little squirrel?" the good witch asked.
"Because," said the little brown squirrel, "All my friends are red and I want to be red too... sniff... sniff."
"No problem!" said the good witch, and she tapped the little brown squirrel and turned him red... all except for his private parts, which remained brown.
"Oh no!" exclaimed the squirrel, "I can't go through life all red except for my private parts! You have to make me red all over!"
The good witch said, "Sorry, I don't do private parts. You will have to go see the wizard!"
But the squirrel started crying harder and said, "But I'm new around here! I don't know the wizard! How will I find him?"
And the good witch said, "Oh that's easy! Just follow the yellow dick toad..."

 

Been out on my bike all day. What have I missed

 

Jack shit. lol

 

God creates Adam, and soon Adam is complaining that he's all alone in the Garden of Eden.
So God says, "OK, I'll make you a companion, a beautiful creature who'll cook and clean for you. It will be able to converse intelligently on any subject and never ever complain or argue."
Adam says, "That sounds great."
God says, "The only thing is, it will cost you an arm and a leg."
Adam says, "Damn, that's expensive. What can I get for a rib?"

 

Social Security will mail me a copy of an official document from a lawyer who represented my parents in their fight to sue/secure funding for my emotional-growth boarding school. The lawsuit isn't the important part... Lol.

Essentially we submitted a document to them (Social Security), which I thought for the longest time was an affidavit but that's not the term - it was called something else by the representative at Social Security - and anyway, it substantiates my status as a disabled adult child. That means I was disabled before I was 18 (before I was in college or as it pertains to my appeal for financial aid i.e. the period of my transcript before my doctor's note's diagnosis) and before I was able to establish a work history. So it means I'm disabled without a doubt.

What I'm trying to do with that "affidavit", among like 5 other documents that vouch for different time periods during my college career, is prove I was not healthy when I made the decision to either flunk or drop out of many many courses over the years. The only reason it matters is because when they award a student loan for example, they don't want people who sign up for 4 courses, get aid in the amount granted someone with 4 courses (why it's based on number of courses can only be attributed to the ridiculous cost of textbooks...), only to drop 3 of the 4, take the money and run.

I also have a lot of units under my belt. I have to explain that it took awhile to learn how to coordinate illness and learning. And I had/have a bachelor's that I told you guys about which was fraudulent. I learned this week the alma mater for the degree (who I came clean with) has the vice president of something or other working with the university's attorney or legal team to figure out what course of action they will take. I'm hoping they'll revoke it because then all I have to do is explain what happened to the community college where I continue to study, and also change my degree status on my application for federal aid.

Anyway, I think it's all do-able. It's just waiting now. But I think the community college where I study will like my reason for appeal, and I'm pretty sure my alma mater will take away the degree. One step closer...

 

Excellent news Soul. You know I a rooting for you.
I think all will turn out to your advantage. xxx

Sorry, I read your cards and they were so positive. xxxx

 

like tarot?

 

Sorry yes. xxx

 

Lol. I used to like astrology. that's sort of in the same hemisphere of thought... and that's not my birthday. I'm 40... Lol!

 

A little. But as Mystic says, I am also psychic.

 

Oh! SHIT!
Is it true we have the Limpet Troll back?

If so.
Get out the scrapers!

 

It must be it's twin.

 

Could be Gal.
Sometimes these things come in batches of shit!
They even look like dumplings of shit!

 

True thorns in our sides..

Wanna joke?

 

Yes. Yes. Yes.
Please make it a hard one!

 

The difference between fathers of today and yesterday

In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived.
Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe and make sure film is in the video camera.

In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons.
Today, kids wouldn't touch Dad's clothes if they were sliding naked down an icicle.

In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business,
Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from university long enough to teach them how to work the computer and set up the DVD recorder.

In 1900, a father smoked a pipe.
Today, if he tries that, he gets sent outside after a lecture on lip cancer.

In 1900, a father came home from work to find his wife and children at the supper table.
Today, a father comes home to a note, 'Oscar's at football, Olivia's at gymnastics, I'm at aerobics, pizza in fridge.'

In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations whilst fishing in a stream.
Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons' ears and shout, 'WHEN YOU HAVE A MINUTE...'

In 1900, a father gave a pencil box for Christmas, and the kid was all smiles.
Today, a father spends £500 at Toys 'R' Us, and the kid screams, 'I wanted an Xbox!'

In 1900, a happy meal was when Father shared funny stories around the table.
Today, a Happy Meal is what Dad buys at MacDonald's.

In 1900, when fathers entered the room, children stood to attention.
Today, kids glance up and grunt, 'Dad, you're in the way of the TV.'

In 1900, fathers threatened their daughters' boyfriends with shotguns if the girl came home late.
Today, fathers break the ice by saying, 'So... how long have you had that earring?'

 

A man was on a date with the easiest girl in town. After they parked the car, she wasted no time in climbing into the back and encouraging him to put his hand inside her knickers.

The petting grew heavier and she began moaning in pleasure until she suddenly cried, "Ow, that ring is hurting me!"

He replied, "That's no ring - that's my watch!"

 

Ha ha ha