Let's Make This The Longest Thread Ever In Hipforums 2!!!

...and what about free bumper stickers??? Are those cool or what?!

 

"Amish Paradise"
Weird Al

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
I've churned butter once or twice
Living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved
An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree, I really look good in black...fool
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Caruso
It's as primitave as can be

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice
Living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice
Living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise anoder
Think you're really rightous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might just have to get medieval on your heinie

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights
Living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Living in an Amish paradise

 

damn i was too late

 

so are we posting song lyrics now...

 

is that how you spell hiney? Yeah..I don't get all the song lyrics. Let's talk about Peeps. Sugary deliciousness... the last time I had a Peep was like... 4 years ago.

 

screw snickers when you can have fruitsnacks...

 

this is so much fun!!!!

 

why have fruit rollups when u can have gummy bears

 

Snickers with almonds are good, or those fruit snacks that had that sour juice stuff in the middle, those were good, never enough in a bag though

 

oh i think u mean gushers. in the commercials the kids heads would turn into fruit. when i was younger i would wait for hours for my head to turn into a fruit. wtf..thats false advertisement!

 

dog-town and z boyz.

 

I had a serious fear of my head turning into a watermelon..or any other type of grandiose fruit. But I dig the taste of gushers.

 

blah blah blah

 

I ALWAYS make ppl. paranoid for one reason or another. I can't help it...it just sorta happens. Kinda like an organsm.
Sponge-monkey!

 

have you ever licked a wall only to discover upon lickage that it tastes like fruit...especially schnozberries?

 

oh my god becky...look at her butt....

 

I hate someone.

 

I hate you too

 

its not you I hate.

 

....then I feel really bad for you (even though I'm laughing uncontrollably).
I hear Willy Wonka is a great orgasm donor.