Lets just all introduce ourselves

I'm a 37year old mother of 3 (at this time anyway). My partner and I each have one daughter (14 & 15) and we have a foster daughter who is 16. It's been a hard road so far. I look forward to meeting other like minded parents who are open to learning from and with our children as well as teaching them.

 

I am a single mom of a nearly 18 year old daughter. Her birthday is in one week. HOLY COW, how did I get that old. I am facing an empty nest soon...she leaves this summer for Halifax to attend university. My feelings wax and wane on it...somedays I can't wait for her to move out (those are the days when she is just CHARMING) and then there are other tearful days when I just know I will miss her...

To help combat the loneliness, I am having a roommate move in next month.

A little about me - I work as a social worker, and buck the establishment every chance I get (at least that's what they tell me, heh heh). I have purple hair right now, and piercings, so that's a start. The clients love it, so that drives me. I divorced my deadweight about four years ago and haven't looked back. I haven't dated much, although I would love to...just not many guys around here my age, and I don't even know where to look at my age...not into the bar scene.

I love talking about kids and feel I have something to share. I hope to poke through the thread from time to time and see what happening.

 

How long have you been a social worker? I was so sure that's what I wanted to do, so sure. I am just starting my beginner courses in college toward a bachelor but when it came time to declare I was going to do it. After being a foster parent, suddenly I don't want to be a social worker. I realized one day, that the last thing I ever wanted in my life was to have my social worker's job. Don't get me wrong, I think my SW is great, but damn I don't want her job...she's got it rough. With a small exception, most everyone doesn't like her, not the kids, not the parents and not the foster parents. Anyway, I'm changing direction.

I had to call the FIA last week and let them know I'm going to have to let go of my sixteen year old Foster Daughter. It is really killing me. She's just not safe alone and we don't have the capacity to care for her 24hours a day. It's our first time at bat and it's been rough. Surely not all kids in foster care are this rough? We've been at this for four months and have already experienced a cutting episode that I had to rush to the ER for, at least 3 or 4 calls to police for various episodes in the neighborhood, one arrest at the fair (her not one of us) for assault on someone, sneaky time on the internet that resulted in a man visiting the house she had met the day before online, 3 saturday schools, at least 5 calls that required a trip to the school, one suspension from school for threatening bodily injury (she caught up to this boy at the fair). Why do I feel like such a failure that I can't reach this girl? I thought for sure I could if I just kept talking and hugging and showing her there is a different way to live,

What is your experience, do these kids get better?

 

I've only been a social worker for 2 years, but I have seen a lot in those two years, for sure. I can empathize with you and your foster daughter, but don't give up on fostering altogether, it just sounds like she needs more specialized treatment than just foster care. We have many foster parents who become quite attached to the kids we place in their care, and have had wonderful experiences with them. One of my foster families still invite their past foster kids to come and visit them all the time, even though they are back home again, and the kids go with them.

And then there are the kids like your little gem. We have those children in care as well and present quite a challenge. We have what we call Parent Counsellor Homes, where the parents receive plenty of extra training to deal with difficult behaviours in children. And when that doesn't work, we do have residential care, but my personal opinion of most of it is that it doesn't work. We do however have a new program which is a secure treatment centre...the jury is still out on that one as to whether it works or not, but it might be something like that is in need for your foster daughter with her behaviours. Is she seeing a therapist? She certainly sounds like she should be. It is hard to get through to these kids, but it can happen.

As for people liking me, well I won't lie, I am not everyone's favorite person, but some of the kids get attached to me, and some parents welcome the help in their lives, and there are also parents who call us first, looking for help. Taking children into care is one of the least regular things I do - now those are parents who don't like you, and it is one of my least favorite things to do, however necessary.

Good luck to your foster daughter - I hope she finds what she is looking for.

 

i have a boy named jakob james, he will be a year old on june 21, 2004.

 

I think that you all know me from reputation.

My philosophy on the parenting issue - and I have a lot of children:

Be patient but firm.

Never punish a kid when you feel emotive - as I used to say - an eye for an eye.

Love one another but there's gotta be a limit too.

Put some a little more money in that hat at church too.

 

I a mother of 2 teenage boys 15 and 18. My oldest son has autism and is my rainman. I am 45 yrs. old and love this forum! Good to meet all of you!

 

Hi, I'm Ana, I'm parteners with Steve, and I'm mama to our boy Jonas (almost 3) and our girl Lavinia River-Sage (4 months) and whom ever else comes our way.

I was raised by hippies, and I'm raising hippies! I was 'unschooled' so we are doing the same with our children. We homebirth unassisted, eat healthy whole foods (we're vegan,) use natural methods of healing and believe that the body was designed to take care of it's self. We clothe diaper, but mostly use Natural Infant Hygine. We nurse until they're ready to move on, and carry our babies always. I don't know what else to say, other than that we just want to raise loving, caring, informed, peaceful people.

*If you're unsure of what I mean by the terms I have use, feel free to ask!

 

Hi there!
I'm a mother of 7 and now a grandmum as well. In my spare time I'm a Labor and postpartum Doula, a Childbirth educator, homebirth advocate, unschooling mum, novice homeopath, equestrian and fiber artist. I'm so excited to get to know all of you hippy mamas!

 

Hello all,
I'm a 21 year old mother of an 8 month old little boy. I've wanted to have kids all my life and now i have one, he fills my life with laughter every day. I simply adore him and will always be there for him as he grows bigger into a handom man. As most of you i love to talk about him and the new things he just learned. I also like to read other people's experiences with their kids. We want to have another kid soon.
I'm always open to learning new things that can make my boy even happier and make me a better mom (I wanna be the best )
Hugs to all and good luck with the kids

 

Nice to meet you all!

I'm michelle, SAHM to Ryvre Raine (10/29/01) and Willow Sage (7/1/03) and wife to my "junior high sweet heart" Dale.

I'm really loving this "housewife" stuff, because we recently bought our own house! Man, i was really getting sick of being a grown woman and living with my parents!

My other hobbies are writing poetry, live-action role playing (yes, i am a nerd!), astrology, and reading all sorts of cards.

i don't know what else to say!

 

Hey Rainbow, where in Jersey are you. We're in Bergen County? Would love to hook up some time if you're close.

Kathi

 

Just wanted to chime in here on the social worker theme. You don't have to work for the state to be a social worker. I work at a drug rehab. My moms all have DYFS (that's what it's called in this state) cases. So I work closely with the DYFS workers. Most of my moms really love their workers now. They hated them when they took their kids away. But now that they are getting clean and have their kids back they are really greatful to their workers for helping them. It's hard work but really worth it when you get a call from someone five years down the road and they're still clean. And it's heartbreaking for me when I have to call DYFS to pick up a baby because we are kicking the mom out of our program. I try to focus on the success stories.

Kathi