Grandpa's Drink There was a family gathering, with all generations around the table. Mischievous teenagers put a viagra tablet in Grandpa's drink and after a while, he excused himself because he had to go to the toilet. When he returned however, his trousers were wet all over. "What happened Grandpa ?" asked his concerned grandchildren. "Well", he answered, "I don't really know, I had to go to the toilet, I took it out and started to pee, but then I saw it wasn't mine, so I put it back.
I got arrested for being drunk and disorderly last night and the officer told me: "I've already notified your wife sir" "And what did she say?" "Nothing" "Then that's not my wife"
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one. Officer: Don’t have one? Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving. Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Woman: I can’t do that. Officer: Why not? Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer2: Is this your car, ma’am? Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned. Officer2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps opens the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Woman: Bet you the lying ****** told you I was speeding, too!
I went to Thailand and came so close to sleeping with a lady boy. She looked like a girl talked like a girl even walked like a girl. It wasn't until she reversed the car perfectly into the car space I thought hang on a second.
