The best thing to do is spend some time away from her, you have the respect the fact that she's straight. I been in your position before, you just need some time apart from each other until you find someone that your attractive to
But I really feel like she likes me too... I sense that she too is becoming confused about her feelings towards me. This is so hard.
Hey ladies... I am probably just having an irrational fear but I am not sure if I'm good in bed. It took me a long time to be comfortable with being attracted to women, and I finally decided to make a move on a lady crush. Long story short, we started dating. Since this is my first relationship with a woman I have nothing to compare it to. My partner is experienced, and she is very communicative and we crack jokes sometimes during sex (which helps alot). I guess I just don't know: a.) is it impressive to make a girl come or is that kind of standard? I can usually make her orgasm and come a few times a night, and the sex has lasted around 3 hours or so. She said that "I was the first girl to make her come (she's bisexual)." I'm not sure if that was just something she said as an ego booster, because I know she has dated at least a handful of women before me, so I just don't know how that would be possible for me to be the first. I honestly just kind of went with my intuition and fantasies on what to do, because I have never had sex with a woman before her. b.) It usually takes me a while to get her to come, like 30 minutes or so (Honestly, my tongue starts to get tired, its kind of embarrassing lol). Is there anything I could do to make it better? (perhaps a question to ask her, I know... sigh). I start by working on her erogenous zones, of course tons of making out and then a variation of oral, rubbing her clit in whichever way she responds the most to, and g-spot stimulation. What is a normal amount of time to achieve this? c.) What kind of signs could tell me if she's actually really into it? Is it possible she's just being nice because she knows its my first time with a woman? I'm probably just being paranoid and insecure. Thanks!
So I have been talking to this woman for 5 months. She was my 1st everything. We were spending everyday together or less she went home to visit or when she was upset at me we would have like a day apart. She is about to move out of her apartment and is really stressed. I offered to let her stay with me but she really doesn't want to. She had a bad experience with her ex who cheated on her and was possesive. Recently, she also started school and is more busy. We have not seen each other in 3 days. She stood me up yesterday saying she was tired. I cooked for her and planned a romantic night at my house. Also she called and said texted and said she had been robbed and was at the police station. I ask which one bc I was gonna come be with her. Then she quickly replys that her mom is there and their about to leave. She says she will call me in a bit but I still have not heard from her. Is she lying to me? Btw we live literally 4 minutes from each other. Its just weird that we are not texting or talking that much. I'm wondering if I did something. She says she isn't ready for a girlfriend. But we act like a couple. I'm scared bc I'm new to being out. And I don't want to be nieve and the same time I want to trust her. Does she just want space from me? What should I do next? I really care about her and want to be in a relationship with her when she is ready. She is scared bc she doesn't want to go through the same thing twice...but what am I to do as I wait for her to be ready or healed from her past?
I'd give her some space right now. It really sounds like she's got a lot on her plate. Just make sure she knows that you are there for her. If she did get robbed it could have been a very traumatic experience for her and so you should let her know that you are there for her. But if she doesn't want you to come over or she sounds dismissive about certain events I'd back off for a while and let her breath.
I'm not sure if anyone is still responding in here but this seems the most appropriate place to post. A little about me. I'm nearly 40 and have played the straight game all my life. This was a vicious cycle of hiding and running away from myself. I have known I was gay since I was about 8 but hated myself for it. I've recently ended a long term relationship (with a man). In the process of this I have accepted myself as I am including coming out to my mother who loves me and supports me as I am...normal. I want myself back. I have no fear or apprehensions of being fully out but am nervous...like first date nervous lol. My question is how. Until I got to be about 11 I was a tomboy...would scream and battle on school picture day cos my mum insisted I wear a dress lol. I have found a hairstyle I really like that I couldn't dare have before. I have no idea where to shop and have no sense with clothing cos I usually just wear mens trakkies. Plus I am completely isolated...as in no friends whatsoever. Due to circumstances this will not change for another month or two. After that there is an LGBT church near me that I can get to. In the long run there are also local support groups but that isn't an option now...no childcare. In short, where do I start to have myself back after 30 years? PS...I am not allowing myself into any relationship for at least 6 months. I need time to get myself grounded otherwise I can't offer anyone else anything worth having.
Insomniak! Congratulations on finding yourself, that is the biggest step. Let's start with the clothing, you say you're into men's clothing. Is this because you feel comfortable in them, or you think that is what lesbians look like? If it is the former, then think about the clothes that you loved to dress your husband in. That's most likely your style. We tend to put our own preferences onto others. It happens a lot. As far as getting into the community, forums like this are great; you can find people like yourself. If you're into books, start reading lesbian books and join an online lesbian book club. A quick google search should direct you to one. Or find online lesbian groups to get into. Again a google or yahoo search would help. Whatever interest you have, go with that. Lesbian relationships start the same way all other relationships begin, at the friend level. And we connect with people that have things in common with us. Whatever you like, find a group. Life will lead you where you are meant to be. Just remain open, throw away expectations, and live. Let the love of yourself guide your steps.
RaSoul: Thank you so much for your response. It hit home completely. As far as clothing...I know we are as varied as straight people. It's part of me...and the most difficult thing for me to accept about myself. I'm not ready to go out shopping yet but put in an order online tonight for some new clothes. My ex has given me one of his old coats that I asked for. (I've obviously told him now and after very difficult conversations all night we were back to best friends by the time the sun came up and are planning on going clubbing next week. I am very, very lucky for the support I have gotten from both him and my mum.) I'll be looking around online for groups as you suggested. I may be able to meet people sooner due to circumstances here. That won't be difficult...I live in a city classed as a "gay capital." Yep, all relationships start from base level. Don't get me wrong, I would love that now but it isn't right. I have always ran from man to man instantly. I need to heal from that. In a way it feels as though I gave men permission to violate me. I've never been interested in men but had to be straight iykwim. After every time I had sex with men I felt dirty afterwards then feel ashamed. Absolutely vicious cycle of shame and self hate from all directions. Yep, definately time to heal.
I know I'm pretty new on here but I just wanted to say that stepping away from the dating game is a good thing. Re-assess what you want and spend some time on yourself. The other benefit is that often the right person comes along when you aren't looking. If you're not putting pressure on yourself to find someone, you're more relaxed, more yourself and more likely to find someone who will be good for you in the long run.
Hi everyone! I'm brand new here, and I joined because I'm having a hard time in my current relationship and I need some advice. My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years, but I feel we have been going downhill and drifting apart for sometime now. I can't remember the last time we were intimate, we really only see each other on weekends (live 45 minutes from each other). So, I feel the time has come to end the relationship, but I don't know how. I have never been the "dumper" before, so I am torn up about it. Early on in our relationship, my girlfriend had some mental health issues. She has attempted suicide in the past (not during our relationship, that I know of). And she even said once that I was the only thing keeping her from killing herself. Now, I know I am not responsible for her actions, but if we broke up and I found out she did something to herself, I would not be able to deal with it. So, that's my story. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
that's a tough one. maybe u can still try a li'l harder. perhaps u lack communication. try to remember how it was when the relationship was just starting. what makes it tick? surely it won't last that long if you don't love each other.
Recently I have began spending a lot of time with this girl. We've known each other for several years and she has never hidden it that she was attracted to me although she hadn't really made any considerable attempts at pursuing anything more than a flirtationship. Well start about a month ago I began spending time with her alone at her place and I have an amazing time with her. I'm so intellectually and emotionally attracted to her it's insane. The problem is she's a bigger stud. In the past I've only been with girl my size or slightly heavier but she has quite a bit on me weight wise. We have messed around and with her being the more dominant out of the two of us has initiated sex where I was on the receiving end But I don't feel comfortable at all returning the favor because 1. I'm not even sure if she is into that. I'm pretty sure she had never received and could possibly be a touch me not stud. 2. She is bigger than me and I don't know if I am physically attracted to her to that extent. How do I approach / handle my dilema. She is the biggest sweetheart and I really really like her. I love giving sexual pleasure to the girl I like But idk if I'm ready for this step yet. What do I do?
hi, im new here. I just dont know where to meet women in my area. or how to know if they are lez. I know of about one club with a girls night... in like six months if i can get a car i will try to go there. If that doesn't go well I could try LA, but then the girls i meet will live an hour or two away and that makes a long distance relationship. Besides clubs arent really my thing. Id prefer to meet girls who aren't into that scene. Is it possible to meet girls another way?
Hi everyone. I have a small problem with Men. When I Meet someone, a colleague, a neighbor or something and we Start Talking and I suspect that they may want to Flirt with me, I always tell them that I am a lesbian and they have no Chance with me. But they don't seem to understand that. So I have to stop having any Kind of contact with them, avoiding any Talk because they won't back off. Do you have the Same Problem too? And the funny thing is that I am not a Girly lesbian. I am always wearing Jeans and a t-Shirt. What is wring with them. It is really annoying. It is like if a straight girl tells you that she is straight and you don't leave her alone. And now the Second question. It's about this girl that I am working with. At the beginning we were working on opposite shifts. When I was in the morning, she was in the evening and the other way around. Even though we were not working together and we were seeing each other only at the change of shifts, she was always saying hello to me, smiling at me, laughing when I said something funny, asking me how are you?... And she even knew my name. I didn't know hers. The past 2 weeks we are working together, same shift. She always looks at me, I am kind of shy so I take my eyes off of her first. She is always smiling at me. At touch her a lot and she always smiles. She touches me on the shoulder too. She knows I am a lesbian and she said it is normal. She didn't change her behavior or something. One time I was passing next to her and she looked at me and smiled as always and then I saw her looking at my breasts. But she is not coming next to me during the break. I am a smoker, she is a non smoker. So I spend my break in the smoking room. She goes in the kitchen. And in the locker room she undresses in front of me but very fast. She seems uncomfortable. But on the other hand, I am uncomfortable and I change very fast too. I am confused as hell. I am too shy to flirt with her in the open, give her compliments, or start touching her more... But I think there is no other way to see if she is into me or not. What do you guys think about this? What should I do to have some kind of clear reaction of her? Another reason that makes me hesitate telling her that I am into her is an incident with another woman from work. She was flirting with me. She was always changing my shift so I would work with her, she was coming near me, talking to me, touching me all the time, smiling at me, hugging me, teasing me. When I told her I was interested in her she totally changed. Stopped talking to me or even looking at me and she told everybody. All my colleagues told me that what she did was so wrong because she started it, she was flirting with me and it was obvious to everyone. So after that, I do not want to show that I am interested in a colleague again, no matter how obvious it is that she is flirting with me. But I do like this girl very much. But I don't wanna rush into things, telling her that I do like her.
I'm fairly new to the scene, well maybe not so new, two years accepted and out, but sadly my first experience was long and I hope to hell not how things generally are, but anyway, it didn't leave much room for learning the ropes of lesbian dating. So now I've met a girl, asked her out back before Xmas, we had a great date, I thought anyway, she then asked me to accompany her with her friends to a art show, another great night, but a dude was tagging along, and she mentioned that she recently had to stop talking to a friend because they had wanted a bit more from her than she wanted to give... so i assumed that meant she was hinting at something, so i said to her, toward the end of the night that 'I liked her, but if she just wanted to be friends, it was cool', but her reaction when i said 'but', was 'but, but what...' and she said to me, 'she wasn't ready to have that discussion with me, and that has led me to believe she is actually into me, but the dude was still around and i didnt feel it leant to an intimate environment so i just hung out and then went home, i asked her out again a week later and she said she had plans and that we should hang with her buddies again... the thing is, im a little confused, i get the feeling that she doesnt want to be alone with me... and i suppose the real thing that bothers me, is i feel like im on trial, i know dating requires being judged but i feel like im being scrutinised a little too closely without the fun part, ya know, is this normal, in my book, you like someone, ask them out, date, if you like each other, sleep together and continue to do so, if not break up... anyway. I dunno, maybe im over reacting, it just feels a little drawn out this situation now. What should i do? if anything?
OK i came out a little over a year ago after my girlfriend moved in with my parents and me... that's a long story though we've been dating for a year and a half and my parents can't stand her... i love her so much but they just don't see what i see... she's a smart ass and says things exactly the way she sees it and its not at all the way my parents see it she behaves improperly in there eyes... she just feels like they treat her incorrectly but the way she wants i know my parents wont change... i'm just not sure how to solve this... i need them to get along... my girlfriends parents hate me cause i'm lesbian and are complete Christian and don't even want me near them while my parents are trying... they were completely against gays tell my brother came out than me... this is who i am and its important to me that they understand why i like my girlfriend but they don't and they wont let me tell them why i like her...
Hi I am new to this I think I am gay. For a long time I have not been into men I was in a relationship for 3 years about 10 years ago. I had a couple of boyfriends after but nothing for about 5 years. I had feelings for women but put them to the back of my mind. But lately when I see really nice women I keep wondering what it would be like kissing them and other stuff. Just the last couple of weeks the feelings have got stronger. I don’t feel I could tell anyone I know about it.
I'm new to this whole forum thing...and I need some advice. I am 18 years old and I am a lesbian, I have never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl but I know that I want to. The only problem is that I have a boyfriend we've been going out for almist three years now he was my first boyfriend after about a few months of dating I realized that he wasn't right for me and that all guys weren't right for me...I liked girls. I didn't want to hurt him because he's nice and all but I'm a lesbian and I don't like him like that. I know I've waited way too long to tell him and now I'm not sure what to do every time I try to break up with him he tells me that he will kill himself I think that's one of the reasons that I'm really afraid to tell him.I don't want that on my conscience. I need help I want to be free I want to be happy this is torture.
I've had this slight issue/dilemma. In the time that me and my girlfriend of 15 months have been together...she has only let me eat her out once and I have had my"finger"(just one) in her twice, three times if you count the "accidental" slip on my part . I am a lesbian! I love to give oral and please my woman as much as anyone who loves women, but being unable to sexually please her and sexually fulfill my needs and desires is making me feel like I'm living a lie. I'm a lesbian who is unable to even sexually or passionately kiss her girlfriends stomach without her complaining about the way it makes her feel. I did a little bit of research and I found out there is a woman who is considered a "stone-butch", but my girlfriend isn't really butch. I guess you could say she is the more dominant one in the relationship, but that's simply because she doesn't allow it to be any other way. It's driving me insane and I don't know what to do. I love her, but my sexual needs and desires are being completely neglected. I've told her how I feel and her response is always "Give me some time". How much more time do you need than a year? What should I do? ThimSlickWeb
