Hello friends! I apologize that my post is so lengthy. I just wanted to go into detail so it is a bit easier to understand my situation. Thank you for taking the time to read and respond to my post. I greatly appreciate your help! There is a girl who I have been really great friends with for about three years. We have alot in common (epically Anime/Japanese cartoons and comics). We met each other through our dads who work together and we instantly clicked due to the fact that we have so much in common. She is in the tenth grade while I am in the ninth grade. Since I am homeschooled right now, we usually make plans every so often to get together for sleepovers and movies and such. Although lately I have taken notice that I have been beginning to have extremely strong feelings for her. I noticed that these ‘strong’ feelings had begun to occur by the middle to the end of last week. Although when I think about how long we have been friends, it seems that I have always had questionable feelings for her but I had just decided to ignore them and place them in the back of my mind. I often told myself that it was just a phase and that I would get over it. I respect gay, bisexual, and lesbian individuals highly. I do not judge! I feel that I may be bisexual, although she is the first girl that I have had feelings for. Although… because we have been friends for three years I am begging to wonder if this is really just a phase due to the fact that it seems like I have always had feelings for her. I am planning on taking her to Olive Garden with my paycheck in a few days. A few months back (in October to be exact) before I was about to leave her house from a sleepover we had together, she had suggested that we go on a ‘dinner date’ soon. As she made that suggestion, we bumped elbows and waggled our eyebrows in a joking manner and said “Oh~ a dinner date!” I am not too sure about her but I am secretly anticipating it. Whenever I think about it unexpectedly, my heart begins to beat extremely fast! >< I want to tell her how I feel during our time at the restaurant, although, I am not sure how to go about this. I don’t want to just blurt it out. I had been planning on saying something along the lines of: “There is something that I have been meaning to tell you for a while now…” Is that a bit too blunt? When would be a good time to bring it up, during conversation? This is all just a bit overwhelming for me. For the past week and a half I just can`t seem to get her out of my mind. Whenever I wake up in the middle of the night (which is a lot ^^) I always find myself thinking about her. Even when I am trying to get a homework assignment completed, all I can think about is her. Also, on a side note, she is fond of gay individuals as well. She has a few male gay friends in High School. I have also noticed that I have been clumsier than usual lately (I am not sure if this has something to do with the situation.) I repeatedly keep bumping and tripping over things. I drop things more often as well. I also get a bit teary eyed as well but not too often. I just don`t want to ruin our friendship. She is always there for me, especially with my Homeschooling situation. She hasn’t forgotten about me like all of my other 'friends' have just because we don`t go to school together anymore which I find extremely sweet. While I have been trying to find answers, I have heard a lot of responses along the lines of: “If she is a true friend, she will definitely understand your feelings.” I really do not want to lose her. She is extremely special to me and the only friend who has so much in common with me! My mom suspects me of being Bisexual but I haven’t told her yet due to the fact that I have never dated anyone so I can`t really determine my sexual preference right now. One day my mom had said to my family: “Well, if she is Bisexual, we just have to accept that. ” So I don`t have to worry about her being angry about it. I think that she just might be a bit disappointed that I did not tell her when she had first asked (because I had been so uncertain about it). Also when I had slept over her house, she had offered for me to sleep beside her in her bed (she always offers this). Since I usually wake up before her, I usually just end up lying beside her until she wakes up. Although this time when I had woken up earlier than her (around 7:00 am) she had did something that surprised me. While she was sleeping, she had turned over in my direction and placed her arm and leg on top of me in her sleep. The same way you would lay with a body pillow. I didn’t mind her doing this; in fact, it felt good to me which was what had confused me a bit. I was a bit worried to tell her what had happened though because I didn’t want to embarrass her. Although at the end of the day I eventually worked up the courage to tell her in private since I had remembered that we tell each other almost everything and that we don`t keep secrets from each other. When I had explained to her what had happened that morning she exclaimed: “Oh, really?! I am so sorry!” I told her not to worry about it and that I didn’t mind. She told me the reason why she does that is because she is so used to sleeping with a body pillow. So my main questions are: Should I tell her how I feel and risk our friendship? If so how should I go about telling her at the restaurant? Other advice or inputs are greatly appreciated as well. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I greatly appreciate it! I apologize~ it was a bit lengthy! But I greatly appreciate your help! Thank you.
In my experience, they know what they're doing when they ask you to lay beside them then end up cuddling with you. I had a friend(lets call her A) do that to me and I never cuddled back. One day I was playing around with one of my other friend(lets call her B), and friend A was around, and I ended up cuddling with friend B. Friend A got sad and asked why I never cuddled with her. When I finally did, we ended up dating for months. lol
Hello.... I'm new here... 16th & need some advice please how to forget the one you love??? I've fell to this girl when I was in junior high school. 3 years later, then she recognize my feelings. then we had this relationship. we went to separate high school. we often fight, and rarely met with each other. she ever told me that she ever had a feelings for a guy and she asked me forgiveness (twice). maybe you'll think that I'm a fool or something, but I forgive her caused I still love her. 1 and a half year in our relationship she break up with me, she told me that she was afraid with the world, but she asked me to stay as her best friend. we've broke up but, my feeling for her have never changes. finally, when I was hanging out with my friends yesterday, I found out that now she already had a boyfriend. I know that I am means nothing to her now, but I love her... this feeling is killing me inside. what should I do about this feeling? please, tell me... I've no one to be asked about this... *sorry for the bad english...
I was in the same exact situation and the best thing to do is just forget about her. Try not to even think about her and definitely don't hang out with her.
(first of all, anyone reading this just know that if you do read it i am seriously looking for advice and help, so if you keep reading, please be willing to help or email me at dyanadaryn@hotmail.com) okay, so heres my situation... I am 17, i have had my boyfriend for the past 7 months on and off. we first said i love you about 3 months ago, and i really meant it.... But now i feel like its turning into more of a brotherly love. ive lost interest in kissing him, cuddling with him and i actually lately have been avoiding even saying i love you... Another thing you should know; everyone who knows me knows i am outly bisexual. they know i am very comfortable with it and my boyfriend has accepted it. But lately i cant shake the feeling that i might not be bi. I might be lesbian. my problem obviously isnt coming to terms with my sexuality. i have no issues jumping up on the roof of my house and screaming "im gay" to the world. my issue is that i dont want to lose my boyfriend. i care about him very, very, very much and i dont want to hurt him. but my feelings are fading fast and my feelings for girls (one in particular) are growing rapidly. I cant lead him on, he deserves much more than that. if someone willing to help could email me (maybe someone with some more experience) and help me figure this out, you have no idea how much id appreciate it. hope to hear from someone helpful very soon. Regards, Bethany.
Hi, I'm JJ! So, here's my story...I'm in desperate need of advice. The whole thing is very confusing. When I was little, I spent more time thinking about girls than boys, that's for sure. I was a creepy little kid...if I met a girl I liked, I'd, like, stalk her, but I thought nothing of it. I did not learn the term "lesbian" until I was about 9 years old, but when I did learn it, it wasn't as if something clicked within me. Back then, I didn't understand what sexuality was and I spent no time thinking about it. My middle school years were pretty normal, I guess you could say. Between 4th grade and 8th grade, I talked with my friends about different "crushes" I had on boys, as most girls do, but deep down I knew I wasn't like my friends. My definition of a crush was always just a boy who had a great personality. I would never blush or anything when boys talked to me and my friends marvelled at this. I asked my mom, "Why am I the only girl in the world who isn't boy-crazy?" Cuz I really just never cared about boys. And my mom said it was because I grew up with 2 brothers, so I was used to boys. But I always had the mentality that girls marry boys and that I would follow suit. Oh and also I had multiple female celebrity crushes throughout my middle school years. I had pictures of them on my wall and I would make out with them...you know, I'm questioning my sexuality less and less as I type this... Anyway, I didn't question my sexuality till I was about 14. Now I'm 16, a sophomore in high school. And this is where the plot thickens. This past fall, I participated in a community theatre show in which the ages of the cast ranged from 10 to 80. I'll never forget the audition for this show. I was sitting in the house waiting to be called up when this woman walked in. I could not stop staring at her. She was gorgeous. I could see that she had to be at least 40 years old, so that's why I got so freaked out, asking myself how a 16-year-old could be turned on by a 40+ year old woman. But I was head-over-heels. So, the two of us, this beautiful woman and myself, got cast as the leads in the show. Her character was romantically linked to a man who was played by her real-life husband (yeah, she's married). My character had two boyfriends, who were played by a 21-year-old and a 17-year-old. Within a month, the 17-year-old (I'll make up a name...let's call him Connor) had become my boyfriend in real life, and my very first real boyfriend at that. I pretended to be excited, but really I was scared. The woman (let's call her Rose) and I had become good friends, and I was obsessed with spending time with her. I would always choose to talk to her over talking to Connor. Rose liked talking to me too...I don't think she ever caught on. Now the show's been over for two months and I haven't gotten over Rose and I'm still dating Connor. Connor and I have kissed and it's not particularly exciting. Often I imagine kissing Rose and it's so beautiful. At the closing night cast party she kissed me on the cheek, you know, not in a sexy way or anything, but ohmigosh I was so turned on and I just keep thinking about it. It does appear that I'm a lesbian, doesn't it? But would you believe I'm doubting myself? Cuz I am. Every day. I think I'm just afraid to admit it, afraid of the consequences. So here's what I want to know: Is it normal AT ALL to fantasize about much older people, or am I alone in the universe in that respect? How do I become sure of myself enough to admit all this to my friends and family...and worse, to my boyfriend, who loves me? Once you come out of the closet, it's hard to go back in. What if it's just a phase, or just some psychological thing where I'm convincing myself that I'm a lesbian? I'm sorry this post is so long, but I wanted to go into detail because I really need some advice here. I am scared and I am stressed out. Thank you to anyone who read this. Any advice?
heey i just came on to check if anyone had sent me advice on my post just above yours. and i know how it feels to put yourself out there and have no one help.... so ill give you the best advice i can. starting with your question about fantasizing about older women: you are FOR SURE not alone. i have a gay aunt who has fantasized about older woman since she was 17. I do too to be honest. in particular, a very attractive teacher i have, who is at least 35, jennifer lopez, and kate hudson. (all older woman) Honestly i find it hard to understand why youre struggling with your sexuality becasue from your post it seems like you are pretty sure and leaning to a conclusion. But i am in a fairly similar situation; if you read my post above youll see. (im talking about the boyfriend part). But on your sexuality, all i can say with confidence when im in my own sticky spot, is that you need to follow your heart. If you dont feel anything when you kiss your boyfriend, and dont think about him nearly as often as this girl "rose" that you like, then i think you have your answer. to me, it doesnt sound like a phase especially if you have been in this mindset since you were a child, because i truly believe whatever sexuality you are, youre born with it. This is all i can say, i truly hope it helps, and if you could read my post above yours and possibly help me out if you can, id really appreciate it. thanks love, hope it helps. Regards, Bethany
Bethany, Thanks so much! I really appreciate your advice. And yeah, as I was typing that post it seemed like I was clearly a lesbian, but I guess the confusion comes from never having had a real romantic experience to help determine my sexuality. I guess I just don't know if the feelings are truly a sexual attraction or not. Also, I read your post. Obviously I am very inexperienced and so I can't say I have much help to offer, but I guess my only advice would be to be honest. I know exactly how you feel about the boyfriend situation cuz I'm having a very similar problem, and I think the best thing to do would be to get up the courage to tell him how you feel. The way I see it, you're going to have to tell him eventually, so why not get it overwith now? (I also need to do this haha). If he really loves you, he'll be heartbroken but he'll respect your decision. Love is patient, so if he truly knows you, he'll understand. Hope that helps a little! Best wishes, JJ
Ok this one is work related, I work in a care home for the elderly, love the job and people to bits but I am constantly getting the boyfriend questions, given the age of the people I care for I am not out at work, so how do I deal with the constant boyfriend conversations without going insane?
To tell you the truth... you're always going to have to deal with that question. It sucks but I usually laugh it off and say no one's good enough for me lol. If it's driving you that crazy just make up a bf for now. It's not like that's going to make you less gay. It might help die down the questions a little. They don't have to know he's not real lol.
Thanks slammacow, I was afraid of that, I have been there for nearly 3 years and I hate stretching the truth there some of them are surrogate grandparents to me. I think I am definately in a job where business and pleasure never mix
I'm involved in my first same sex relationship and am having doubts about my orientation but that's something I can handle, what is difficult is I've been exploring myself and have begun binding, I cut my hair really short and my family make jokes and call me a boy which isn't a big deal but it's annoying and the other day my mom looked and me and said "you know your not a lesbian right" so my question is how do I, I guess deal with this. Any advice is appreciated.
I'm worried about not being good enough for my girlfriend anymore purely because we are comfortable with each other, how can I spice up our relationship and get the spark back. We love each other and I want to know how I can show her I do in a really romantic way. Thankyou
Hi, I've been meaning to find one of these, as ones I've used before I've found too crude or they don't reply. I have a problem with sex. I recently found the love of my life, she is wonderful. However, when it comes to the bedroom I have found that I am able to please her and make her cum whilst I remain unsatisfied.. I am able to masturbate effectively on my own however it doesn't last more than a few minutes. With my girlfriend it tends to hurt and i find that i cannot relax enough to let her do anything. She is my first girlfriend and i had done a lot of research prior to us getting together. I've found i'm prehaps more pent up on pleasing her that when it gets to me I cannot let her do it. I think it may lie with having bad experiences in the past with boys who are much to rough. We tend to kiss ect a lot before she's about to go down there but when it hurts she gets a bit bored and stops. What can I do to stop this pain? Is it her method of touching/licking or is it me? Is this a mental problem in my head? Or should I just get some lube? I don't know who I could talk to this about other than strangers and websites don't seem to help? I psyched myself up to talk to my girlfriend about it but although we're incredibly open about this sort of thing i found myself embarrassed to do so. Any help would be mucho appreciated, thanks. Confused 99.
With women it's all about the mental state when having sex. I know that sounds bad but really it's not. Stop thinking so much. Just allow yourself to let go and enjoy the moment while it's happening. I have the same problem. For me sex hurts. I don't have any answers other than the just live in that moment. It helps, trust me. For me even masturbating hurts. It doesn't last long and sometimes I can't even get myself to orgasm sometimes. It's just how my body is. The only thing I do is try to stop thinking. (Or I look at a picture of a girl I really like and fantasize) Your body could be similiar to mine. Foreplay is what gets you into that state of mind. And it goes both ways, you both have to tease each other. Since you're both women, you both think the same way. Think of this sentence "Foreplay goes a long way" teasing, touching, kissing, even sexting during the middle of the day while she's at work or school. You'll be all she's thinking about after that. And she's all you'll be thinking about when she answers back or even when you send the text. Don't always go straight for the "good spots" when having sex, the whole experience is the anticipation of going to those spots and then finally climaxing. The more you build up that anticipation, the more you get into the right mindset, and the more likely sex will be that much more enjoyable for both of you. Also talk. Communicate. I know talking and sex seem like polar opposites, but in reality, dirty talk and telling your partner where and where not to touch will increase that anticipation buildup. You're partner will learn more about you and you'll learn more about her. Communicating when having sex will keep your mind off of stresses that happened during the day, or what to cook for dinner, or that big meeting you have tomorrow morning. Because let's face it... even when we're having sex our minds wander to the little things causing our mental block. I hope this helps hun. Good luck
Woah, thanks. I never thought of it like that. I will try to 'live in the moment' a bit more and forget everything around me next time. As well as having more foreplay before hand, thanks again!
Ok this is a strange question... My girlfriend and her ex are best friends. It drives me crazy. Alot of my friends say "oh it's a lesbian thing" I hate it am I crazy
