Ladies, would you date unemployed?

I've been deeply in love only once in my life. It was in college when we were both students and not employed or working professionals. But once college was over and I went on to the working world, I've felt underconfident with my jobs I've worked and the lack of jobs that I've had when I've encountered hard times.


People keep telling me over and over, "A person's job doesn't define who they are. You define yourself with your individuality." As much as I want to agree with this statement, I cannot fully pull myself to believe it.

When I got fired from my last job, I took a very shitty job to survive. And I couldn't bring myself to continue dating during that time. It could've been the safety-net job I took really drained my ego, and knowing that I fucked up to the point I got fired didn't help either.

And when I do have an ideal job I am proud of, only then do I have the mindset of a winner.

I had a mindset of a winner up until last week when I got laid off. Right after I bought an awesome new house for myself.

Now that I'm laid off and indefinitely unemployed, I have a hard time believing any woman would want to date a man who cannot carry his own weight. Much less help and provide for her.

I know this is a toxic mindset to have; believing that I am undatable with nothing to offer a woman when in professional turmoil. But I've seen it myself where a woman will gladly be the breadwinner in the relationship, even if her partner doesn't work at all.

I guess what I'm rambling about, is that I need to find a way to overcome this mental block and start dating happily again despite my layoff after a recent house purchase.

 

I would.

If he planned to stay unemployed forever, now that would be a problem.

 

How are you indefinitely unemployed?

 

It would depend on why. If he was fired five times in the past year or so and it’s everyone’s fault but his, then no. If he’s laid off, sure. That can happen to anyone.

So, it would all depend on the reasons he’s unemployed and if he intends to stay that way.

 

What was the job again? Some kind of assistant to an architect?

,Sounds like you are in a field with too narrow job prospects

 

as long as they smoke weed and have fun, i'll support them

 

Like Deidre said, if you weren't a habitual sorry ass and just between jobs I'd date you.

There are plenty of good times to be had for little to no money so it's not like I'd be putting alot of money into entertaining myself with you.

Down time can be a good opportunity to learn something about a person because they've got the time and energy to show you their interests vs. being wiped out from a job and the commute.

Come to think of it, I'd like it if you had dinner ready for me a couple of nights a week!

 

I rarely had a job that impressed the ladies. And most of the time during my life so far I didn't work (ok i was single most of the time too)

It's a combination of things. Like for example your own perception and attitude about your situation.

If you value traditional role patterns and don't mind a sex change:

 

The unemployed part wouldnt bother me so much if it was a lay off and he was actively trying to find something new

But I think what that can do to someone mentally would be trying in a brand new relationship, especially with how some people's identities are so wrapped up in their career and suffering a job loss can be a huge blow. New relationships are generally light, happy. It can be difficult helping someome through a tough spot in life when you are only beginning to get to know them.

 

Not to get off topic, but Mel, what in the world is that in your avatar? I keep thinking "porcupine with a mullet" or hedgehog or something?

 

It's bullshit. The kitten was better.

 

Yes, yesss! Love that one, what the hell? Oh, by the way, glad you changed yours back!

 

Popular demand my friend. I am a man of my word.

 

Damn good!! Now, if we can just get the rest of the country in line with that simple concept

 

its a hedgehog...contemplating the meaning of life...while sporting an amazing pompadour

 

should always try to find them at your lowest point

that way you know they accept it and any upturn financially or jobwise is a bonus

 

except it's hard to even think about dating when you're at your lowest

 

Its from a Yuri Norstein cartoon Hedgehog in the Fog. If you're ever feeling a little melancholy i recommend pouring a glass of your finest Russian vodka and looking him up on youtube. His work soothes the dark Russian soul hidden inside us all

And i just really think the hedgehog is cuute so there

 

Okey dokey

 

Ok... So if I understand all that correctly, this means you are NOT putting the kitten back up?