Ladies would you be a surrogate mother?

Would you volunteer your body to be a surrogate mother to an infertile couple who can’t conceive?

Would you do it for free for a friend in need? Or would you make the couple pay you for the time, energy, and wear and tear on your body.

A chick friend of mine was telling us that she wanted to be a surrogate mother for a couple she knew. But was dissapointed to learn that because she has never had a child of her own, she couldn't legally be a surrogate mother. In order to be a surrogate mother, a woman must have at least one biological child of her own.

 

I can understand why you would have to have already had a child, your first born is very special, you attach very quick, you would never give it up..

My sister was having trouble having a baby, I would have done it for her.but not a stranger.

 

Is that an Oregon thing only?

I've never looked into being a surrogate--and can't imagine any scenario where I'd do it--but still, I've never heard that before.

 

I agree with having to have your own baby first

I would never be a surrogate precisely because i've had a baby. I understand the physical and mental toll it takes on you.

But bravo to people who are willing to do it, they are much less selfish than me.

 

Why?

Not trying to argue, I'm just curious.

I find that to be an odd stipulation.

 

I’m not sure if it’s a state law or not. But it’s like what Morrow said; a first time mother is much more likely to get emotionally attached to her surrogate baby, and not want to give it away to the biological parents. At least with a mother who already has kids, she has her own children to fall back on in case she gets too attached to the surrogate baby.

 

Because I think it would be hard to fully understand what you're getting yourself into unless you've given birth before and what a tremendous emotional and physical toll it will take.
And women who have already given birth will already sort of understand what it will be like to be flooded with hormones that are designed by nature to help a mother bond with a baby, but not actually have a baby there to bond with.

 

Okay, I can understand and appreciate where everyone is coming from--as much as a woman who has never borne a child can--but at the same time, in my "community", surrogates and sperm donors are necessary to making a baby. We don't have the luxury of the A to B way of procreating.

Putting further restraints on that saddens me.

Plus, I'm a big sister. And if ever I my sister couldn't have children for whatever reason, and I agreed to carry children for her, isn't that between us? Not trying to put words in anyone's mouths, but this seems like a personal thing and not something subject to regulations and interference--be it from society or government.

I mean, just look at the pieces of shit society allows to reproduce: neglectful parents, child molesters, and killers. Why should surrogates be subject to more laws than deviants?

 

Yeah, makes it sound like the law / the government thinks everybody is going to love their first kid the most


And a big hello to every HF member that wasnt a firstborn

 

I never understood that part, you could use one of those joke flowers that squirt water the clowns use if you really wanted to. Its just physics, you just need something to pump it from A to B

Now here is where I will sound like a douchebag......but include pretty much all straight people. Meth heads, bogans, the Kardashians, Republicans can breed without a license and yet there are all these other rules for.......

 

Totally get where you're coming from and I guess I should clarify, I understand why a surrogate agency (i assume those exist, maybe i'm just talking out of my ass) would have that stipulation. I dont think it should be a law and it shouldnt factor into private surrogacy like between friends or sisters

 

Well I wasn't first.. but when you have a baby for the first time, yes it's supposed to be a great happy time, and I get it that for some it might not be.. but for most, your first is more special, you don't love it any more than any others you have.. but your less likely to want to keep it..

All hail the middle child, and love your middle child syndrome.. use it to your advantage

 

I'm the youngest and my parents definitely loved me best

 

I couldn't do it and thankfully no one has needed to ask me to do it.

 

No.

 

Yeah, i'm the eldest of two, and i think my mother was simply way too young when she had me to really process it properly.

She always babied my younger brother more, not thar thats a good thing, cos he turned into one of those always angry at anything douchebag guys

 

I can definitely sympathize with where you’re coming from. Promising your sister to do this in case she can’t conceive.

I suppose they should/could make exeptions to allow a close family member like a sister to work around it. When the surrogate mother is the aunt, it would make staying in contact with the child much less complicated. Like having two moms and a dad.

My friend is not a sister of this couple I mentioned.

 

I would love to do this but all three of my pregnancies were rough on me. I'm a type 1 diabetic and my babies were Huge.
I would do it for free for friend or family.