Ladies i need your advice on WTF im doing wrong???

Awesome

 

There's nothing wrong with texting. It's like sending each other flirty notes electronically. Yes, voice calls have their place, but most times I'd prefer a girl text me. The last thing I want is a girl blowing up my phone in inopportune times, especially for something that can be handled just as effectively via sms/text.

 

welp ignored when i called after work and ignored when texted. Typical

 

What did you text?

 

just asking her if she might what to grab a bite to eat after she got off of work. But im thinking it has to do with my looks that woman just judge right off the back. They probably think yeah hes a creeper just looking for sex ill add him but not talk to him even though i gave him hints that he was cute. Tired of always getting false positives. Why the fuck can't i ever get a positive once in my fucking life.

 

Do you wear large framed glasses?

What about your appearance would shout "creeper?"

 

You said you guys exchanged numbers at the party and you got a good vibe from her. That she was giving you flirty hints, etc. If she thought you were a creep then I doubt that would be the case.

I would've suggested trying to feel her out a bit before straight up asking her out to eat after work. Next time you get a girls number, just text a simple "hey, what's up? Do you know who this is?" type message. That way you break the ice and get the convo going, and don't put anyone on the spot. You never know, she may have got blind drunk that night and totally forgot who you were. Yet with your very 1st text you were already asking her to make a decision to instantly accept or reject you.

I always try and allow the girl to make the 1st move if possible. So if you go about things right, she'll usually ask you out, or put you in a position where you're asking her and it's 99.9% that she's going to say yes.

 

I'm a 5' 7", white male, 170 lbs, light brown hair, blue eyed, average set, very active, i don't wear glasses and im a country boy.

I guess that was a little straight forward. But she won't even acknowledge that i called or texted so i think shes not interested

 

Well for one i like that she knows how to shoot a compound bow and knows how to hunt and she likes a few of the same sports that i do. She is clearly single as stated to me at the party and on her Facebook it says that shes always tired of getting screwed over because of guys. So far no approach i have used hasn't worked yet. And how do you prove someone wrong if you can't even associate with them? I guarantee you that if you put a twin of me beside me they probably would say no to both of us but you put a guy that has the same features listed up to but doesn't look like me he would have her number and be hanging out with her all the time. So how do you exactly prove someone wrong when they look right thru you?

 

unless there's something you're not telling us about your appearance (giant birthmark on the face, for example), looks are not the primary issue.

i don't know what exactly you are doing wrong, but it's not that.

 

Don't be in a rush. When you contact her, be friendly and witty, and leave out any invite. Get her talking about a subject, and carry it on, and let it segway to others. Enjoy that for a while, and see what happens. Eventually, if a concert, or sport event, or new restaurant, or some other specific activity comes up, then ask her to accompany you. I find it's really nice to keep it light and impersonal for a whle. It will naturally evolve to more if it's a good fit.

 

I think the problem is that you think you should be an eligible bachelor because you have a car, job, house. Not that these things aren't important. They are. Obviously there aren't very many women who want to date an unemployed man living with his mother. However, these things are not what attracts women to men.

I've met guys like you before. Guys that are just blown over by the fact that I'm not interested in them even though on paper they look great, blown over by the fact that I bypass their $70,000 salary for someone that makes 18K a year. You're a country boy so you're probably not a douchey prick making a shitload of money a year, but the point remains the same. You have to have other things to offer women because every other average joe has the house, job, and car too. Figure out what makes you special and exude confidence in it.

 

That's fairly safe to assume. But you make it easy when your first message is already asking her out to eat. See below...

^^^ Listen to this girl.

 

I agree with calgirl and xxaru. Slow it down and when you first text a girl you like from a party or somewhere else you met her that gave you here number keep it simple in the first text just to get her talking. Something like "It was great hanging out with you at the party. I think it is cool that you can shoot a bow and arrow! Are you self taught or did your brothers or dad teach you?"

 

i agree with calgirl on being you and working on just being you. Yes keep it light but be careful not to be confusing. If you want to catch up for a chat or whatever, or a date you need to invite them. Just being around and not being direct could make someone think all sorts of things. She could even think you're playing games. Make your intentions clear without being pushy and it will be fine. Be confident but not over the top. Good luck with it all.

 

It's possible you're too stiff in the way you flirt. Like it could be you understand the concept that everyone is saying to "be yourself" but that in practice you aren't behaving like yourself at all when you are actually interacting with them.

Being bitter will also WORSEN your chances.

One thing I've done is that even if I get rejected by a girl, I've quickly said:

"Well okay, but if you've got a cute girlfriend, maybe you could pass my number along".

It doesn't always work, but the fact that you're brushing off rejection shows resiliency, confidence, and is not the typical awkward oh, reaction some guys give when rejected.

 

try lying on facebook ,, it works for everyone else..

 

I've noticed this too and I have guy friends that are really nice guys and if I wasn't gay I'd definitely like to be with one but for some reason they can't get girls either. I also see girls go for the absolute dead shit of guys too and I don't know what would be attractive about them. They don't look good, they look smelly, probably are smelly but it's a bad boy image they fall for, get pregnant or a disease and then that's their life done and dusted so early. All I can think is just hang in there. I'm not sure how old OP is but I have noticed that guys with no girls at a young age seem to catch them when they're older. There's also the confidence that I'm sure has been spoken about. Lastly you should study up on what attracts women to men or the science behind some of it. Women are weird. It's a fact that if a guy has more than 2 women around him at let's say a pub then women will be more curious and attracted to him too just on that basis and it works because I had a friend that me and my partner were talking to and another gf came so 3 girls 1 guy and all the women around started looking and staring and coming up to him when we'd disappear for drinks etc. I didn't believe it when I read it but it was a positive reaction.

 

The Jackass voice in my head that is super cynical says this: yeah the nice young stable guys, get the girls once their older and have probably have a higher chance of carrying herpes or some other STD into the long term relationship or marriage at that point.
^(Note: I am aware this comment is probably politically incorrect, sexist to say, but I swear lots of guys other than myself have had this thought pass through their minds. I also know the basis of that thought is false logic.)

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You're right, guys that have women in their social circles that know how to be the center of attention (whether arrogantly or not) tend to get laid more. But it's also a trade off because the quality of the women gotten, is so-so, especially at the bar scene.

And the type of women you attract varies from scene to scene.

I think part of the reason, confident/arrogant guys get the girls is because they don't put pussy on a pedestal. If you're not interested they'll move on at an efficient rate to the next girl. They won't necessarily diss the girl that rejected them but they'd be more indifferent to being rejected, and this comes off as confidence.

Also girls feel competition from other girls, and this is a huge internal persuasion factor to at least walk on over to where all the attention is and see what it's all about. (the man in this case, has already got his shoe-in in terms of dating scene marketability, while the other guys are dealing with square one)

Psychologically speaking, this dynamic can be seen in both sexes on the playground as children. I remember reading an article that observed social behavior of multiple toddlers each playing in a room with identical toys. Even though the toys were identical, the toddlers were always more interested in the specific toy the other toddler was playing with.

This suggests to me, that the weight of what is attractive largely comes from perceptual observation, of what others have already evaluated as worthy. And there is a case to be made that this is evolutionary logic, to say well if it's good for them then it must be good enough for me as well.

You take that type of predisposed thinking, add puberty down the road ten years later, and those "toys" the toddlers were playing with becomes "boys".
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You guys should read Tucker Max's books if you want to understand how the player's life works, and it's pros and cons to that lifestyle.

It's personally not for me, but I think if guys read that book they'd at least gain perspective and perhaps feel or understand that the grass is not always greener elsewhere.

 

No no no, you got wrong. Once the young stable guys get older they're gonna want the old used up chicks they didn't get when they were younger. They're gonna want, and will be getting, the younger hot chicks that, (in their younger days) ,they thought they had no change with.