Ladies: How do you feel when men call you "honey"

I'm referring to when it is used to address me while I am working at a job. Usually if I am at a job I have to be polite back to the customer or vendor. So weather or not that person has seemed to speak to me in a condescending way becomes beside the point because It puts me in a position to not be able to respond to that person in anyway I would like which places a level o agreement upon the fact that I may not want them to talk time that way. It is a forced acceptance of sorts. I am not rude to people especially in customer service. And it's rude to be presumptuous to a stranger as well. So I remain polite to them regardless of how I am spoken to when really I'm quite perceptive and I can decipher between condescending and lighthearted playful friendly banter. Many times business men or people who pretend to be of some importance will call the office where I am a receptionist and act as though I am someone low on the ladder of importance because to them I'm a lowly receptionist and nowhere near the owner in importance and so they hide behind the phone and refer to me in a lowly light using many terms that are degrading to me or anyone else. They could not be farther from their truth and they are of the utmost unimportance if anyone because part of my job is to weed these assholes out and not let them through to the owners. When they don't get what they want they are rude an then hang up on me.
I have had men at a bike shop where I sold bikes for 3 years treat me like some sexy personal waitress of sorts for hours and then buy nothing. They say sexist things to you and make you uncomfortable while you work. I'm perceptive, intelligent and polite. And women are treated this way daily and obviously by the comments in this thread I can tell men do not understand. Well it's safe to say you may never have had the experience of purposefully being demeaned by anyone. I have not one friend who would regard me this way in real life because my friends have respect for me and vice versa. My real friends an call me whatever they want I don't care. It's the men in between who are actually degrading towards women. Don't pretend they don't exist. They do it while you are working because they know its awkward for you to respond to them they like to watch you squirm for a sec. They get off on it they do it so freely. One time a guy was doing it along side his friend making jokes about raping me on a boat and throwing me into a lake while I sold him a bike. He and his friend were laughing about it etc...I had to walk away from the one for a sec. Some people are complete assholes.

 

Well said, sugartits.

You know I'm just messing.

 

I quite like, Sugar pie Honey bunch, so long as it is done in a condescending tone

 

These days I really don't care what people call me. This is mostly because they have no idea what I call them when I walk away or I see them driving crazy down the road.

I remember when I was first called ma'am it really got to me but probably because before that I had only heard that expression toward my Mom or some older person. To me ma'am was offensive because it meant that they were thinking I was old. Now that I am old I really don't give a shit.

 

Agreed. It's quite simple.

 

"degrading towards women" and "sexism"?

OK, what about this "sexism":-
1)Women pinching guys)strangers) arses in bars.
2)old/pompous women calling men "my dear".
3)posh/ theatre type girls calling men "dahling"(like one of my exes did).
4)men having to fight wars, and women dont.
5)men having to work longer for the same pension.
6)women calling men "gorgeous" or "love" etc etc
What about women from wealthy countries/occupations degrading poor men or their employees, when society expects the man to be the "breadwinner?
7)what about serial gold-digging divorcers etc?
etc etc etc

The reality is, that much of this isnt sexism. Some of the examples are innocent fun, some *might* be arrogance, some might be greed, some might be outrageous.Some of the examples are sexism eg pension and war rules.

The problem is, when you throw up the "sexism" card, you have to get ready for it to be thrown at you too.

In reminds me of this black woman I know. She's one of the most racist, class bigoted idiots I've ever known. And sure, she claims everything not going her way is "evil racism" against her...

I'm not saying youre like her. But to relegate something to an issue of "sexism" when it can apply to both sexes is a bit... surprising IMO.

I've met people of both sexes who are arrogant insulting pricks. But its not an isssue of sexism, most of the time.

It would be a fairly fucked up world if a woman, who meant it in an innocent way, couldnt call me "love" or whatever, without fear of sexual harrassment claims. So, I think it has to be the same rules for guys.

Wow.

 

I dont do any of the things listed. I don't expect that women don't act the same to men eather sometimes. I'm not a man though so I wouldnt know what that's like. I don't blanket all people when I talk. I know there are a billion ways to look at everything. I only refer to how it feels when a man does it to a woman because that's what I can relate to and am wondering about at the moment. I was asking women how it "feels"

 

I really don't care.

 

i get treated like shit by woman at my work for no reason other than the fact that they are assholes, just like men can be

there are lots of really nice ones though too, just like there are lots of nice men as well.

 

Rollinstoned don't you wish you could go to work and not feel demeaned by anyone at all? I don't know why people have to treat others like shit all day.

 

Well I am not from the spruce forest so I don't know where you live. But I am from the south and it is all about just being nice and respectful. I don't make a habit of doing it. Hell I get called hun a lot myself by the ladies.. I just think there are a lot worse things that could happen to you to be so upset about that. Do you were a name tag so they know your name, or have a desk plate? That could solve a lot of problems if you don't. I always try to call people by their name. Nobody has ever told me that calling them a pet name is disrespectful, if they did I would be sure to respect their wishes. Sorry If I have offended any of the women in here.

 

I never said it was and I wasn't talking down to anyone. I didn't call anybody a name I just asked a question.

 

Another person from the South.

 

Working in customer service Applespark is going to be exposed to the worse of the jackasses who will intentionally, rather secretly usually, try to degrade and be condescending. I do know what you are talking about, Applespark.

As a waitress I learned how to say almost anything with a smile...using my eyes - which were not smiling. I also learned how to say "it" in a way that my words could even be repeated and there would be nothing I would have said "wrong".

I can't stand the tone that people have used with me...and I have found myself just as angry with the women as with the men. In fact, during the years I have found myself more aggravated with women, overall, than I have with men - and they were supposedly using these same "terms of endearment".

All in all, I feel like Specs...I don't care what anybody calls me. But don't take the wrong tone with me.

 

of course i wish that, but it will never happen. There will always be sour people in the world. The worst is when they bitch at you for something that you have no control over, or for something that someone else did.

I just wanna slap the shit out of customers sometimes

 

Holey Jebus! I know about this one lol

 

Another example of the South.

 

Why do you assume that because we don't like something, it is exclusive? We can also be against all of the things you listed. This thread was just about one topic, but yes, there are many others.

Or are you trying to say that we are all hypocrites? You have no basis for that assumption. I don't do any of those things.

I don't care if you know a thousand hypocrites, that doesn't apply to everyone. Those people are idiots.

 

Wrong tone. Does your mother sew?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9KQQrNDawM"]Joe Dirt - Soldering Iron 1 - YouTube

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfQ3pPYeCDc