Ladies: How Did You Get Used to Anal Sex?

Ladies: How was anal sex for you the first time (or first few times) you experienced it? If you enjoy it, then have you always enjoyed it, or was it something you had to get used to?

Thanks to those who have answered my many questions about anal sex over the past year, I am no longer an anal "virgin," having had it a handful of times. A number of those times ended unsuccessfully, as my sweet wife just couldn't let me finish back there.

On one memorable occasion, she did let me finish. That time was amazing, but it would have been even better if she hadn't subtly flinched several times. She's so amazing and courageous in doing something that she still has some trepidation about, and so sweet that she wants me to be pleasured even if she's still a bit uncomfortable during the process.

I really want our anal sex to feel amazing for both of us. To this end, she has suggested that on days that I want anal sex, I should instead hump her buttocks. She thinks that the sensation will help "train" her and she'll gradually become more comfortable with something actually going inside her anus. She has absolutely no aversion to my penis thrusting that general area--only the insertion of it into her anus.

Me? I'm all for it, because her curvy butt feels absolutely amazing. Yet I really want more anal sex also, so I'm interested in finding out how well her idea would work.

Therefore my question. Is my wife onto something? What did you do that my wife and I might try, that can get her more comfortable with anal?

 

Anal sex is a process, start small, like a finger and use allot of lube, then when she start to get use to that and begins to enjoy it, start going larger, like sex toys that vibrate, then your cock, and go slow, anal sex isn't for every woman some just can't ever get into it but don't give up and don't push it to soon, good luck

 

But that's the issue. She is still uncomfortable with anything inserted back there, even a finger.

I've asked her if she wanted to just bag it altogether and forget about anal, if she's too uncomfortable with it, but she really seems willing to work through things. After all, what I described in the OP was her idea.

 

It takes time brother.

 

I am far from being an expert on Anal sex but this type of question has cropped up before on another forum. Has Papa suggests it does take time but also she may not be relaxing enough .

 

Try making anal sex night less about the insertion:
Long hot bath
Full body massage
Glass of wine (not drunk levels just romantic sipping amount)
Bring her to orgasm (several times if possible)
A small amount of anal play
Followed by a favorite sweet or more orgasm for her.
It's all about feeling relaxed all over

In a way its like great In a Pavlovian response.

I unintentionally did so for myself... On anal night I will do a light fast during the day (to make prep easier) only protein shakes to keep my energy up. What I've found is that when my stomach growls I get wet and my ass gets all twitch/horny.

 

I love anal sex, although I only indulge my husband every now and then, as I Iike to keep it back as a special treat for him.
I wouldn't say that I'm used to it as such, but as long as he uses plenty of lubricant on us both, and really takes his time pushing inside me, it really does feel incredible.
I usually ask him to pause after a couple of gentle thrusts, but once I feel like I've comfortably taken him inside me, I can take it really quite hard from him.
I have to say that feeling him cum inside me feels totally different to when he fills my pussy.
What little bit of pain there can sometimes be us easily outweighed by the pleasure of anal sex for me.
I've got anal sex on my mind now and we are nowhere near a special occasion! Oops!

 

I text him when I'm out of the shower with "shiney hiney"

 

First time wasn't as bad as I'd expected it to be, we used lots of lube and he was on the small side and was finished before i could decide whether or not i enjoyed it, we did it several more times but like i said i could never tell if i enjoyed it cause he'd finish too quick. I began adding anal play in while masturbating. Second guy i tried it with is a current FWB, to be honest i was terrified considering he is long and very thick, but he'd been an amazingly gentle lover in every other aspect so i figured I'd let him try me, our first time was a failure even with lube i just couldn't take him. Second try was better, i went and bought an anal starter pack, played with the sizes working my way up and finally took him, It hurt in a good way and i certainly felt it the next day but it's become a regular part of our friendly benefits, the orgasms i get from anal are like nothing i can explain

 

When my wife and I began 30+ years ago, it was not good for her. So, we only did it on rare occasions for years. Then, 15 years ago, something changed. The biggest thing I believe was anal sex porn. Not just women who did it for the camera and money but women who obviously liked it. It can set the mood, and the brain starts telling itself "she's doing that and she likes it". And that can be arousing. So, I believe the woman has to be curious first of all, believe that it could feel good, and want it.

The next thing is lube. We started with Vaseline. Disaster. The breakthrough lube was veggie shortening. We have been using coconut oil the last few years.

Mood and lube. And willingness to keep trying, beginning with the slimmest of toys. We started my wife with a small vibrator. That was the start of her love affair with DP. She's like an anal pro now with all the times she has inserted toys back there, and me. I can get in in a matter of 30 seconds now and she rides me on top fairly hard, or lets me ride her from behind as hard as I want. For a while, she was suggesting it over vaginal sex, and we were doing it so often that I got burned out on it. After a hiatus, I'm liking it again, though I wouldn't want a steady diet of butt again.

It may never work well for your wife. But, she may end up like mine and start suggesting it. If she's truly willing, keep trying. Best of luck!

 

I hear you. I was right there with her not wanting to even try anal for the first 12 years of our marriage. Then I kept reading about how much some women love it, and I became intrigued.

Ironically, the lubricant that helped us on the most recent time was Vaseline. I don't know how it was disastrous for you guys, but for whatever reason it was the perfect thing to use for us, on that occasion.

 

Odd about the Vaseline. For us, it just felt sticky for a lack of a better way of describing it. We used it multiple times during those first years. I can't remember a single instance that my wife got any pleasure from anal using Vaseline. We tried a few other lubes too, including olive oil. Worked better for us but not nearly as well as the veggie shortening or the coconut that we use now. Both allow me to glide right in. We noticed the difference immediately after switching from Vaseline to the veggie stuff.

I'd highly recommend trying either of those two or both.

 

It hurt the first two times but lots of lube solved the problem.

 

@Tarp Yeah, Vaseline would have been too sticky if I'd tried to thrust really fast and hard, I think. But Vaseline worked well that time, I suspect, because of its skin-soothing properties.

But vegetable shortening sounds like an awesome idea. And it gave me an idea about a tangent question.

She and I have discussed pegging several times. I've told her that if she's mistrustful about whether anal play could feel good, then I would be willing to have her do stuff to my anus, and if that feels good, she might get more excited about hers.

Now, I've read all over the place that silicone dildos and silicone lube don't mix, right? Because the lube would break down the toy. Everything I've read says to use water-based lube on silicone toys. But would the veggie shortening work on the silicone toy? Or is that just weird, or bad for it, etc.?

@ncbumpkin Thanks for your contribution, too! What kind of lube has helped you enjoy it?

 

It's called pjur back door glide anal lube.

 

Tried shortening a couple nights ago. Seemed good at first, but then got somewhat closer to the "sticky" consistency. Did I not use enough? It sure seemed like a lot when I was putting it on myself. Should a fair amount also be applied to her?

I should add that this wasn't an anal penetration attempt. We tried it out with me sliding between her buttocks, as described above. Sliding started out easy but became gradually more difficult.

So to be clear, if attempting penetration, I AM aware of the need to apply lots of lube to both myself AND her backside. But since I wasn't going in her anus, I was somewhat surprised that the shortening idea didn't work as well as anticipated.

In the same session, I also tried to position myself to rub up against her anus, without going inside. But she flinched and said that the head of my penis was hitting her tailbone.

The session was ultimately a success, as I finished in her vagina. But the anal play aspects of it sure weren't. Suggestions? Do I have to spring for the expensive anal lube?