I am a male but I have noticed these sort of men. They are mad that they are in your "friend zone" and are always criticizing the men you do date because they feel they are so much better. Their whole identity is that they are the good guy who will text you back 30 seconds later and the current BF is an asshole who does not respect you. For some reason these guys often wear fedora hats. I don't know why. Anytime you and the BF have a fight nice guy is right there hopping this it's his time to shine. Then he gets even more upset when you come to him as a friend to talk about the fight for example. It seems kind of unfair to the women because she might actuly think of this person as a friend but he is always pushing for more. They resent you because you will not sleep with them. So even though they are "nice" they can be very mean and bitter. These sort of guys are usualy very shy and insecure I think. So deep down they don't like guys who have the confidence to talk to women. And that is really the key. If you are not sure of yourself why should she be? Part of that confidence is accepting that sometimes a relationship is not going to work and accepting that a girl might say no when you ask her out. So you move and on and find a girl who does work for you. Yeah there are times when friends decide to try to be more. Maye other relationships end. But it's not the angry guy who hangs around that is getting this opportunity. She does not owe you sex because you are nice and it is just gets creepy when you think she does. Women know if they like you like that pretty quick. But I also do think some women lead guys like this on knowing this guy does not have the ability to find other girls. They need a back up man to stroke the ego. And those women are bad in their own way.
Hm. Well I guess I have a guy in the friend zone. And I know that he likes me, but we are just friends. He's a fair bit younger, looks up to me. He thinks I'm "cool". I guess I can't really relate but then again I can in a way, just, with what you said about how if a couple has a fight good guy will be there to talk to, though he hopes it becomes more than that, well it was never going to happen with me in the first place and these are the types of guys that annoy me. The ones that can't let it go, that I'm a lesbian, or that I show zero interest in them physically, sexually or just in general. And it gets difficult, especially me being quite the tomboy. I know I'm loud and obnoxious and fun and I like doing stupid fun things like shooting and blowing things up. I'm just a girl into that, and I know I'd probably be a lot of fun with the right person. But why can't we just have fun as friends? How does it go from having a good time blowing something up to well I hate her now because she won't fuck me? And that's the type of mofo I find irritating. :cuss:
Any normal and well balanced person doesn't lead a nice guy (who is maybe silent about it but clearly has a thing for you) on for ego purposes. That's really nasty, sad and atrocious (even if the guy isn't really that nice, just acting like it to get in her pants). Any guy wishing so hard for something more that they are trying to pressure a woman into something else than friendship just because he acts nicer than her BF and plays that card is either nasty or a complete social moron and not a nice guy. But I get it, that's why you put nice guy in "" Carry on
Lol If you made it clear nothing will happen ever and you keep in touch with him because you're getting along as friends and have fun times than it would be all on him for wishing more and acting upon that. Even if he strokes your ego that is not why you keep in touch with him (I reckon?)... So, his problemo indeed. I don't get the question of OP: of course such guys are terribly annoying. Isn't that evident (I'm a guy too btw, Anakin. Sorry if you just wanted women to reply )
Hey OP gets it. There is a huuuge difference between genuinely nice guys and fedora wearing guys who play fake nice because they think it will one day get them laid, yet turn nasty and bitter when they finally accept the fact that there is no chance I stopped befriending single dudes a few years ago. Shit always gets a little weird.
Friendships between men and women can work just fine. If there is also mutual attraction, sometimes those friendships make a transition into a romantic relationship. There is a difference though between being someone's friend and pretending to be someone's friend. If you are someone's friend, there's no other agenda other than being their friend. The fedora guys you are talking about (I'm not aware of any fedora effect) are not friends, but bf wanna be's. That's the problem.
If he's trying to use you for sex, then no matter what his strategy is, he's not a nice guy. A real nice guy would want love, not sex. In order to want love, he would obviously have to know what love is. Every dumbfuck out there knows what sex is but knowledge of love is the domain of the magical elite. A loving person would not be employing a cynical, manipulative strategy such as the one described in the OP. This world is based on the ego, so it's full of this kind of garbage. Having set our collective standards so low doesn't make it right. There are absolute ethics; this falls strictly in the category of unethical behavior.
I didn't read the OP or the thread. I have no time right now. But, I want to read this thread, because this topic has been brought up in so many forums I have been to. I'm starting to think this whole 'nice guys' thing only exist on the Internet. I will say one thing, though... there is a difference beteeen a nice guy, and a 'nice guy' that these type of threads talk about.
I'm bacccck! Lol! That sounded scary. Anyways, like I said above I think this is only a thing that happens online. It seems like it's a lot more civil in person. Yea, people get rejected and rejection hurts, but there isn't this whole women are leading guys on, women are putting guys in the 'friend zone', guys that claim are nice guys acting like creepy little monsters, etc. It just sounds too silly to be true. Not even silly, it's twisted. Yea, a lot of people have psychosocial issues, and things can get twisted in any given relationship, but the stuff in these kind of threads is just too creepy to think someone would carry out. If someone has psychosocial issues it's more sad, not creepy. Well, I think that. Of course, all of this is solely my opinion, but just in case someone thinks I'm claiming this as fact. Anyways, I personally have never met a "nice guy". I've met guys that were bad, but they never claimed they were nice in the first place. And I've met "nice guys" that are actually nice. In another forum there was this guy who a lot of people called the "nice guy", and he claimed himself as one. So, people often insulted him for just saying, 'hi' to a girl. Saying how he was totally creepy, and trying to get into their pants, etc. One of the girls ended up revealing that she was never a girl. That she was a gay guy. And this guy was really close friends with her. She told him first. He knew for like a year and never told anyone. And he still was friends with her. So, whenever someone, always online, complains about the "nice guy" I more so wonder about them than the actual guy. To me "nice guys" are actually nice guys. Bad guys wouldn't claim to be a nice guy. I also wonder why there isn't a female counterpart to this type of person. There isn't, because it's BS. Again, that's just what I think. Nothing is fact here. Yea, that's a totally different guy. That is more or less a misogynist. Though, I don't know about the guy that thinks you're cool. Hopefully, not.
If you want a girl being nice won't get you anywhere. The most popular guys with women (for sex) are drug dealers and murderers. Easier than being a rock star, getting really rich, or being born cute. Not necessarily effective for long term relationships, but you can shag her for a while. Nice guys can get a girl, but the women are rarely faithful to them. I've never managed to get in the 'friend zone', if they don't go on the first date, I won't see them a second time. (Come to think of it, even if they do go the first time, I rarely return for seconds) To me, guys that allow women to be friends just look weak and needy, women probably view them the same way.
Women are only into drug dealers and murderers Says the dude who is into women who pour boiling water on him There are plenty of classy, nice people out there who are into each other and actually stay faithful to each other. You just dont run in their circle, olddude.
I used to run in those circles (for around 30 years), Mrs. Boiling water was a high school teacher and a virgin when we met at University. I had a top job in central London and mixed with all the 'right people' for most of my adult life, drugs and women were freely available (But I was foolish enough to remain faithful). You're living in the past, 'nice' ain't like that any more (I'm not sure it ever was).
Well i didnt really mean nice in terms of having the right job and living in the right place More like, just being nice. And considerate and thoughtful of others. People like that really do exist and sometimes they partner up and are nice to each other
Hey, oldude2 IS nice. He put his wife through high school and she runs a small gambling ring now. Plus he is so nice, he never asks her about fucking other guys. #relationshipgoals
Yup, and if you don't have these things they won't sleep with you and say your "personalities" are incompatible as an excuse. "Personality", LMFO. Fucking hilarious! I actually detest and am disgusted a lot more with the dudes who believe these excuses.