Discussion in 'Coming Out and Confused!' started by Sunburst, May 26, 2004.

  1. Sunburst

    Sunburst Fairy

    It makes me sad, this happens with relion/faith, as well as sexual orientation. So many people spend years trying to decide if they're gay, bi, or straight. I thinm you should not worry about WHAT you are, but BE WHO you are. Don't let the labels hold you back! Do what you do, what you feel, don't worry abouyt what to call it.
  2. Sunburst

    Sunburst Fairy

    It makes me sad, this happens with religion/faith, as well as sexual orientation. So many people spend years trying to decide if they're gay, bi, or straight. I thinm you should not worry about WHAT you are, but BE WHO you are. Don't let the labels hold you back! Do what you do, what you feel, don't worry about what to call it.
  3. u know, i think that's a quality that most gay people understand and would appreciate, because they've had to deal with/think about gender and sexuality a lot in order to figure themselves out.

    it's a shame that straight people dont (generally) have the same self-awareness when it comes to sexuality.we'd be a whole lot happier as a human race if we all understood the meaningless and destruction of labelling oneself.
  4. veinglory

    veinglory Member

    Restrictive labelling isn't universal, there is the 'queer' crowd who are just open to offered from anyone willing to take no as the answer.
  5. Legend

    Legend Member

    Well Personally, Im Happy To Have A Label, Im Bi-Sexual! I Dont Know How To Explain It Properly... But I Believe That Labels Are Good!
  6. butterfly

    butterfly Member

    So true, then no one would feel like they had to conform to those labels....there'd be no angst about trying to find a label that fits you, so everyone can just get straight down to what matters!
  7. Snowdancer

    Snowdancer Member

    I see you are 15. Believe it or not I still remember back when I was 15. Don't let them tell you that all drugs will completely destroy your brain. :p

    At 15, anyhow when I was, peoples lables were more important to soo many people than the people themselves. Over the years that doesn't really get better for everyone but as you age you care less what other people think. Anyhow I did. You will find more people who fit into the lable that you do & it is more easy do just ignore the ones that don't like your lable.

    I am a long haired bi male who prefers to wear skirts, dresses, sarongs, & kilts. Talk about a lable target. There are some who are so confused that they can't figure out what to think. Even many GLBT people. I don't necessarily attempt to look female nor do I ever want to remove any of my parts. I have meat many who just can't comprehend that. I feel pity for the people who can't open their mind enough to realize that we don't need lables to be who we are.

    I'm turning into a ranting old hippy again, sorry. What I really wanted to say is that the best thing you can do & be is yourself & accept yourself for who you are. If there are some who can't handle that it is really their problem not yours.
  8. King Dante

    King Dante Member

    I like the whole idea of just being you but the problem is WHO ARE YOU?! It takes time to descover your self identity and one big part of self identity is your sexuality. And as a teenager and young adult your sexuality can change sometimes more than once. Gay, straight, or bi are just labels that you put on yourself or others and sometimes they can really hurt but sometimes lables are necessary. I think rather than discarding these labels we should work on making these labels (all of them) socially acceptable.
  9. Legend

    Legend Member

    I Believe Labels Are Good! I Mentioned That In Another Post Here Somewhere! A Label Helps People Identify Themselves! If You Are Not Gay, Bi Or Straight Or Whatever Other Labels Are, What Are You??? An "It"! Not Identifying Your Sexuallity Can Make You More Confused!
  10. Sunburst

    Sunburst Fairy

    It makes me so sad though, to see people stressing to finds a label for themselves, what are they? Femme, butch, lesbian, gay, bi, bi but certain preferenced, straight, or curious? Just let what you feel happen, don't worry about what you are, just allow yourself to be free.
  11. tourmaline

    tourmaline Member

    your unfettered idealism makes me somewhat sick....
    no offence

    for me, a label was the very thing i needed to be free, i could say, fuck you all, i'm gay, and i became what i was... i was able to say to a friend of mine, i am gay and they would understand....

    if we were to take your thoery to an extreme we could view all language as labels for material/emotional/mental things (which they are by the way) and say that there should be no language because it doesn't allow the things it describes to be 'free'

    labels - symbols - and therefor language helps communication - these sociological 'labels' as you call them are a form of communication within a society, wether we like that system is irrelevant, because that is the one society uses, and always has... of course this is only in the realm of communicating on the material plane, and i don't endorse the idea that communication is only possible on this level.
  12. Jonny6

    Jonny6 Member

    Labels ah 4 cans.

  13. monosphere

    monosphere Holly's Hubby

    But there are to many people out there who will rely on labels to define themselves without really finding out who they are. Then they try to change for the sake of fitting into that label or group, rather than letting themselves be themselves. By no means am I saying that everyone is like this, but you know there are a lot of people out there who are. Labels might be fine for some, but they can also be inhibiting and possibly damaging.

    Not only that, but some who hide behind labels might only be noticed for said label. I don't want to be known as Mono the Bisexual. I'm more than that. I'm Mono the Musician, Mono the Candlemaker, Mono the Nature Walker, Mono the Activist, Mono the Bungy Jumper, etc.

    That's why I prefer the term non-discriminating in regards to gender.

  14. RxHEAD

    RxHEAD Member

    Myself, I prefer to shy away from labels for myself. I have had sex and relationships with both genders. Both genders had an impact on my life. Though attracted to Men over Women, I don't wish to be called gay, and on the same note, my ability to have sex with either gender, I don't wish to lable myself as bi sexual. I guess I lable my self as having alternative romantic intrests.

    I within myself really don' t have a problem telling myself a label, only when someone I meet who is straight, they do not introduce themselves as so and do not lable the type of man/woman which they seek or prefer when we first meet. Why should I put myself out with a lable to them as the lable may mean one thing to me mysself, though the person automaticaly pictures me as what they have fixed into their mind of what a 'gay' person is or what a 'bisexual' person is. I want them to see me not my sexual prefrence. Not what they think I should be as a lable.

    Life is so much more than gay or straight - why take it one step further and make it any more complicated than what life already is today.
  15. cauan

    cauan Member

    People, I'm in doubt about this one thing, why do we keep giving names to our sexuality...I am not gay, I am not bi and not even happens that when I want to I have sex with guys I do and when I want to I have sex with girls it's just the same and so what? Do I need to label myself?
    Do you think labels are valid for sexuality matters?
    How many of you think gay or bi people should come out?
    Why this comming out thing turned to be so big and important, can't we just be free live it and happy telling people what we want about ourselves and treating this whole sexuality thing as it was supposed to be and that is naturaly.

    That's all's just a question, I am sorry if I miswrote some of the words, it happens that I'm lazy to correct and English isn't my first language.

    1000 Kisses and big hugs.
  16. cacophony

    cacophony Member

    i completely and totally agree with you. i bounced between labels for a while but never felt comfortable with any of them because a label is nothing but a set of rules. if you're straight, you can't be attracted to people of the same sex. if you're gay, you can't be attracted to people of the opposite sex. if you're bi, you have to be equally attracted to both sexes at all times. not to mention all the secondary rules, like if you're straight you don't go to gay bars and if you're gay you have to "look gay" and if you're a gay guy you have to act feminine, decorate, and dress in high fashion and if you're a lesbian you have to be a tomboy, a man-hater, an artist or a radical feminist...
    sexuality is too fluid to put into a box like that. i firmly believe that sexuality evolves and changes as the individual does. there are times where i've been truly attracted to only men and times when i've been truly attracted to only women, and times when i've been truly attracted to both or neither.
    going without a label is (considering our culture's fixation with labels) remarkably easy. nobody i've encountered has had any trouble understanding me when i explain it to them. i encourage everyone to just stop calling themselves gay or straight, or even bi. once you get rid of the label, all sexual confusion can be happily thrown out the window. it makes everything so much easier and makes so much more sense.
  17. word.

    they're just labels.

    im attrached to whomever i am attrached to and even though i call myself bi, i know that is just a label.
  18. veinglory

    veinglory Member

    Labels tell the buyer what is in the box. They can be liberating or restricting depending how you use them.
  19. Manolao

    Manolao Member

  20. Precisely. Human sexuality is tremendously variant, but not so complicated that we can't attempt to explain it. Event taking into account that there are more than two sexes, and more than two "forms" of sexual attraction, the number of combinations is not way beyond a few convenient identifications.

    I've thought it over for four or five years, and I am so emotionally and sexually attracted to women that I feel as though I will need to be with a woman to be complete...embracing "lesbian" is more of a spiritual thing, and it is liberating.

    It's different for everyone, of course! Labels can be incredibly restrictive. That seems to be the case for you, in which case, definitely don't give them a second thought. If you feel best without any description, then by all means, don't worry.

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