Kids Overhearing Parents Sexual Activity.

Lmao, good thing he wasn't that old.

 

I have very strong but very mixed feelings about this! My mother was single, and we were very open with each other. She had a very active but solo sex life with masturbation and could be a bit loud. The first time I remember being 4 or 6 and woke up being very confused and scarred and ran to her room thinking it was pain. She openly explained and sent me to bed. The few other times over the years were short and I knew what it was and she really did try to be very considerate. I remember spending the night at a friend's and hearing his parents very loudly in an extremely quiet house screaming obviously sexual instructions in detail to each other. My friend was so embarrassed and did not want to hear it with a pillow over his head. We were 11 so fully understood what was happening. He literally fell asleep crying. I felt so sorry for him and thought they were being extremely rude especially knowing I was there! His mother actually had the F*cking nerve to ask how we slept at breakfast. My friend started bawling and she then said, "O stop your F*cking Crying Baby." So as you can see I have very mixed experiences giving me a very mixed feeling. NO you should not have to go without but you should be very considerate to others. YES even in your own house!!!

 

This is a great question that we have wrestled with for years as parents!

We are strong believers in trust in our household and don't believe in locks on bedrooms doors. However, we have never had the sex talk thing with our (only) son. Luckily for us, we have never been caught as he always knocks before entering but I'm sure he knew what was going on sometimes when he was growing up, even though we always kept it as quiet as we humanly could. We learned how to subdue our moans and muffle our cries, but what we couldn't prevent is the squeaking of the bed or the banging of the headboards!

He's a 18 year old adult now but I don't know if it's more or less embarrassing for us now when he hears us but at least he knows what we had to go through to keep quiet from him now that he has to when he brings a girl back home now!

 

I am a bit conflicted on this! Growing up my parents were fairly open about sex but showed no affection towards each other, not even a kiss. When I started to go through puberty they let me know that I had to keep my door open in my room and we did not hide things from each other etc. If I couldn't sleep or was sick in the middle of the night I would walk in and wake up my father, because their door was always open. Well, guess I must have walked in during the middle of some action or something (I can't remember exactly) but all of a sudden they let me know they were going to start locking their door for privacy.
I would have to listen to them a few nights per week having drunk pornstar level sex screaming as the headboard and furniture was slammed against the wall. They sometimes played music but also with an adult movie playing in the background so it was never hiding anything. In the mornings as I got ready for school I would hear my father breathing heavily and loud sex noises (yikes) and then he would let my mom know he was finishing. Then I knew it was safe to call out and ask my mom for a ride or tell her I was on my way out the door. I remember I said something to them one day about the noise and how I couldn't sleep and my mom's attitude was like "it's our house and we can do whatever we want in it" and my dad later talked to me a little more candidly and said that "they were going through some stuff, and they needed to do this" I could stay up late and watch HBO or whatever down in the living room. My dad would still always come down to the kitchen naked afterwards to get something to drink and try and start a conversation with me. I guess it became kind of normal after a while.
Fast forward to my first marriage my son was a toddler and had night terrors so he was constantly running into our room at all hours of the night and jumping in bed with us. He would end up spending the night with us in bed kicking me all night. The kid had an internal alarm that activated as soon as his mother and I became intimate! I suggested locking our door but the wife said that she was against that... Growing up she had a "family bed" and slept with her parents until age 17. I asked how they could have sex and her answer was "they didn't". It got to the point where we became so desperate, I would spend the night sleeping on the couch and she would wake up and run to the couch put a blanket over us (just in case). and we would finish as fast as humanly possible before he woke up. It wasn't sustainable.
Now I am remarried, kids are 9 and 15. Initially my spouse was very hesitant, fearful that she would be the slutty step mother. We have all become very comfortable with each others habits. I talk very openly with my son about sex and masturbation, my daughter isn't quite there yet. Every Saturday and Sunday we wake up, make coffee (hot chocolate for the kids) and we go back to bed and have sex. We take care not to be obnoxiously loud however both my kids have their door shut and usually sleep with the TV on low volume, projector running etc. My daughter keeps asking for a half sister and says she hopes we are working on it while she is sleeping haha!
At the end of the day it's all about healthy boundaries and everyone respecting each others space. I don't agree with the whole "open door" thing either. It's important that your kids know you are sexual but they don't don't need to routinely hear the details and noises because that may lead to unhealthy feelings and family dynamics.