Just Lost My Fuck Buddy

This post. Dont think it sounds angry. What are you angry about?

 

Uh... I think you misunderstand me. It seemed you noticed anger in the OP, or at least projected it on her. So I asked where does this become so apparent for you (other than it coming from your stereotypical perception on these matters)? I am not angry, and I didn't talk about you sounding angry

 

Out of curiosity: What's your purpose, FireFly, in this thread?

I mean, I read you lost your fucking partner, wanna have more fucks without relationship resp. not being bound up. Afraid from settling down... Most likely if you have a fucking partner after a year or so the attraction gets lost reg. fuck. I read as well that you are cautious to settle down and wanna have under your belt some more fucks (with belt on or not? ;-) ) - and sound little bit unsure if you shagg the first date or not...

This I understood - what I miss is your purpose i.e. what kind of response do you expect from others? (e.g. send you the mail-address from Prince Charming). Or is it you wanna hear our ideas when reading your statements? Or how we would deal by ourself similar situation? Or, or, or????

Sorry, I somehow lost your point

 

a thousand times this. my gf and i had sex very quickly but I knew it was because of firey chemistry and not desperation or games, so it was natural and beautiful.

games stick out like a sore thumb in relationships

 

It's possible to be in that gooey love groove and also have a spark of attraction for your partner.

Going steady with someone does not automatically mean sexual attraction will disappear.

You might also consider the good that it does to "chase the dragon" of certain very temporary feelings. I mean from a perspective of attachment and mental freedom. Perhaps you are being driven by your desires, and would you only consider the situation deeply and act upon what you learn, you might free yourself from a clinging to particular sensations which you have equated with that which ought to be sought.

Certainly our culture fetishizes the first rush of hormones in a relationship, then we are to believe the rest is "boring" . . . well boring is in the eye of the beholder . . .

 

Mathias I use these forums as a sounding board. I talk through things with people relatively anonymously, get ideas and work through shit. I've kind of calmed down since my initial post and I'm not actively looking to replace my lost fwb at the moment, but if something happens organically I'll certainly be open to it.

Mr. Writer I hope you're right. I always had spark for my last ex. He was the first to ever break my heart because the spark died for him after a couple months. In the past it was always me that lost it and had to be the asshole... I am afraid to hope that I'll ever get as lucky to find a situation where we both have it and keep it... It just seems so rare...

Maybe a few first kisses and some killer chemistry with a few Mr. Wrongs would be okay for a bit till I find my lobster... Shame that would get me a reputation though.

 

Look for a good man, who is also a good lay. I know easier said than done. But maybe you'll have a little luck.

 

That's all I ever goddamn wanted in life >.<
But I don't know if I'm ready for it yet... I guess I'll know when it happens. I'm just going to stay open to experiences, but this time I'm going to listen to my instincts. If something feels off, I'm going to actually say no...

 

Phone wont let me quote for some reason, but in regards to "getting a reputation" - yuck! Its sad people still have that 1950s mindset. Ignore those haters.

 

Seems like others have more fantasies than I have Cz I didn't get your intention reg. desired responses but many responses nevertheless. I read from your current state of lost fwb and your openness for a new relation. But I need the crispy part of what you are longing for - in this thread specifically.... Responses like how other persons would deal the situation? Or advices? Or home-made receipies for cake? (which takes to grow 9 months? ;-) ) or what?

Perhaps I missed a statement like 'I wanna hear from you .....' .... Yeah, fantasy could bridge the gap of unformulated requests .... Anyway, out of curiosity: Do you understand my point? Do you get, what I'm wriing bout? resp. what you get?

 

You only get a reputation if any one sees

 

I'm so sorry but I am totally lost...
I do want to clarify that I posted here because I like to bounce ideas off of this forum because I usually get a wide array of responses and it helps me think things through. A few people have seen it and thought it was a want as and I have politely explained this in private message. I would like to thank those people for the ego boost, though.

Anyway, if that did not answer your question, I'm sorry. Try again.

 

I think I get it now the purpose of your posting...

I would depict your fishing technique like throwing a juicy fresh meat into a pond of piranhas and look what will happen ;-) Interesting idea of fishing, cz I thought only the way to put a worm on the hook and see what fish will get caught .... My question was more or less reg. which piece of the meat should I take? Anyway, case clarified for me.

Didn't caught completely the note with the 'ego boost' but don't know if that's worth to elaborate it further....

Only one question remains: Did you get what you were looking for? Or still longing for something?

 

Basic knowledge of the human body and how it works will answer your query as to older men and sex. Testosterone falls as men age, the same as hormones with women. Once you're past baby making age, the hormones decline. It's not that older men are not good lovers, as a matter of fact, much better. Young men can pound ya for hours....older people have much more kissing, hugging, touching etc. The act of intercourse just becomes something different than in one's youth...it has more meaning to it.

That ooey, gooey...I'm so in love thing you are afraid won't last? Well, it doesn't. But it grows into something much better when you stay with the same person for years.

 

ego boost
n
1. something such as praise, success, etc, that makes onefeel better about oneself or raises one's morale


I figured the dictionary would do a good job here. I'm not saying I need men's praise to feel good about myself, but I'm not going to pretend to hate it. In times of weakness, it does comfort me, but I am trying to get away from that.

I pretty much got what I was looking for, which was to express my feelings and talk it out. Basically, I was in a state of panic because I wasn't going to be getting booty no more. I briefly considered replacing the lost booty with new booty. I changed my mind about actively seeking out booty and decided to let the booty come to me in its own good time. If I am ready for the booty, I will accept the booty.



Booty doesn't look like a word anymore... booty booty booty, lol...

 

I wanted to come back and touch on this real quick. I don't need ooey-gooey feelings to remain forever, nor do I need marathon displays of virility or circus acts of kink. I know that limerance fades. What I'm concerned with is that sleeping with that person disappears or becomes something repulsive. I don't want to be with someone forever that I am not attracted to at all (and there are a lot of factors that make up attractiveness- I don't mean look like an ageless Johnny Depp into your twilight years). I can't be the only person who considers this an integral part of a relationship. I recognize that the excitement fades and that you have to work at it, but I've felt trapped in relationships where everything was perfect except I just wasn't attracted to my partner beyond that first crush and it was torturous and wasn't fair to either of us for me to continue it. I thought I didn't really have a drive for a while, but it turns out it was the person I was with. After almost 10 years with him, I'm ready to make up for lost time. Other people have different priorities, but that happens to be one of mine, and I'm terrified I'm never going to find it.

The fact that I have had a string of difficult relationships that all required way more work than they probably should have is another reason I am open to something light and without any real responsibilities. I have enjoyed being single, figuring myself out, having lots of free time, learning what I like and don't like, decorating my own place, creating safe space... I'm not ready to give any of that up yet. But good booty is also hard to give up... >_<

 

So much booty :dizzy2:

How was your experience with women? if you have had any that is.

 

You cant really listen to anyone.

Even johnny Depp has to get married, girls that put him on a pedestal, its becuase he is cute, famous, money, the trophy husband. The fantasy of getting their pictures in the glossy mags, jetsetting lifestyle......not about what he'd be like in the bedroom. You can tell by what type of girls he is with anyway

In comparison Gerald Butler will end up being with a lot more girls than Depp, but even though he is in the public eye, no one is ever really going to hear about it, becuase by now he knows which girls are going to keep their mouth shut, it will be the ones dragging him off to the hotel room same night, not the ones trying to see how much money he spends nor the ones trying to take selfies with him.

The ones that rate Depp as the biggest celebrity crush, just really in the end means they are more interested in cute, than what Butlers big hands could do....thats all it really means......also means which ever guy theyre married to is always a little agitated


As for the "grows into something much better over years" thing. I'm not picking on Pieceofmyheart or any one person in particluar. Whether male or female, when they say that kind of thing, they have no frame of reference anyway, becuase they have spent the last 10, 20 years with the same person. They are not going to know how different their life would have been had it been 6 different partners a year for 20 years. And they are really just talking about that comfort security thing - that is what comes first, what is most important, ahead of variety, sex, independance. May be whats best for them, but not for everyone, ridiculous to think it is

The opposite of that is the girls that say stuff like guys can hammer away for hours at 30, they are not talking about 99% of guys at 30 of course, only the one or two like that they managed to cross paths with over maybe a ten year period.

Or if it involves kink, there is always that question, well why do they need something left field to turn themselves on

Hitting that right combination, the age you really want, stamina, looks, height, build, that one thing that turns you on the most vs the one act you want the most - not always the same thing, whether he is any good at either or is interested. Seriously not even 1 in 100

And there is no use just blaming men, becuase it is always at least half about the girls you are competing with. There is always at least 1% that will get him in the bedroom in under an hour, he does no effort getting there, spends little money, the girl herself makes sure no one else sees becuase she knows he's going to worry about whichever other girl, and if she's like that likely she will get herself off before he's even got his pants off, then another 20 times in the next 4 hours......and the rest of you are still at the bar, 2 hours of hair and makeup wondering why the hot guys dont come up and talk to you

You always had to chase them, they are used to girls doing all that

 

VG, I'm reasonably certain that long-term monogamy is something that I want, though I see what you're saying. I know it's going to be like finding a unicorn... I have toyed with the idea of polyamory, but I might tend too much toward jealousy.

This is a little complicated, lol. I've never tried, but I will say that vaginas freak me out a little... I have never had the desire to explore one or stick my face in one... I have appreciated women's beauty but never really wanted to act on my own, though I have entertained fantasies of maybe participating in a threesome with my partner. Never just one on one me with a chick, though... Unless she had a penis, lol... I could work with that. In the end I know I want to settle down with a man, though.