Just Lost My Fuck Buddy

I think guys mostly want a woman secure enough to have sex when she feels like it. Like, if you want to on the first date cool but if you only do it because its expected they pick up on that desperation - or if you want to wait to make sure he's serious about you that's always been fine (in my experience) but if you wait just to play games they don't like that very much.

 

Well, I never resisted sex to play games, but I have had sex because guys get whiny and I feel bad. So... yea.

Why do women resist sex? Because they think that's the way to not be just a girl that gets fucked, but becomes a girlfriend, They think that's the way to a healthy relationship, where she is treated with respect and dignity. Also, she is simply not in mood. Unless that's playing games and I never figured it out.

Then again, I don't personally believe in "six sense", which is what I call what you're referring to when someone just knows things about someone else without that person disclosing such information. Because if that was really the case more people would know about people who are depressed, about to commit/attempt suicide, about to commit/attempt murder, etc. But, people don't. A lot of people don't. But, I grew up hearing what you exactly said. Not in the exact same words, but that men just have 'this thing' where they know the difference between an insecure hoe and a put together lady.

Then the question remains, "Which one do you want to be?" And I'm like, "Are those the only two options?" Do all women have a choice? Is there a situation where a woman would be put in one of the two options without her permission?" "Aren't we all insecure, but also put together at the same time?"

 

You'll find true love when you aren't looking for it. Focus on yourself at the moment. Have fun...explore your sexuality as you see fit. You're young - live life.

 

Well, that just goes to show their true character then, doesn't it? It also goes to show how serious they are about being in a relationship with you. Sex is a privilege, not a right.

 

I'm not sure what you mean by true charature or that it coveys the seriousness, or lack of to wanting a relationship with me, I'm just saying from my experiences denying sex gets me in a world of hurt. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it I have also been accused of playing games for denying sex, very much like Melia suggested.

I guess it's just bad luck. Life being life. It is what it is. Some girls get lucky and some don't. I don't know. It's whatever.

 

You give up your body because some dude whines? I'd say whining gets ya ass sent home to mommy.

No, not all women resist sex to be the "girlfriend", sometimes you aren't in the mood. The way to be treated with respect and dignity is treat yourself that way first. Treating your body like a dumping ground for whiny men will not end well.

Many people know the difference between a hoe and put together lady...it is how you carry and present yourself. has nothing to do with sixth sense.

All humans have a choice on who or what they want to be. IMO, you need to respect yourself and your body more and that does show through.

 

Don't know what IMO means.

I agree with you. I just don't think or know that all situations are like that.

 

IMO...In my opinion.

 

I think there are some situations where it doesn't matter how you carry yourself, who or what you want or thrive to be, and the choices you make. None of that matters because you will still get the same results, or similar results.

Sorry for the double post. I pressed 'Post' by mistake.

And oh, cool. I learned a new chat term, IMO.

 

Sex is a man's most basic need, and some men can get douchey when they are trying to get that most basic need met. I don't know why some men get this way, but they do.

Getting hurt emotionally is one thing, but getting hurt emotionally when there is sex involved, has an extra wicked harshness to it. I am sorry you had to go through that.

 

Point them to the glory holes, if that is all they want! LOL

Just say no comes to mind here....

 

Why? Because I like sex and I spent a long relationship without anything good. Then I got with the last guy, who pretty much showed me what good sex was. And then we broke up. And then we started fucking again, but I had too many feelings from the breakup to keep it viable. The last couple of months the quality has tanked, then frequency dropped off so that over the last couple weeks it turned into me doing him favors that he didn't return. It wasn't worth the emotional difficulties anymore. Something fun that honestly has no strings might be nice. I don't know if I'm cut out for it, but maybe I should try and see. Maybe it didn't work with the last guy because we had so much baggage. Or maybe I just tend to get attached. I guess we'll see.

I'm not super actively looking. I'm still on the fence, but if an opportunity presents itself, I might go for it. I might change my mind tomorrow. Who knows. The point is, I'm open to possibilities and feeling very free to do as I please right now, and I'm enjoying the feeling.

 

I totally agree with that one. People can be so cruel to one another. Especially, people who are in romantic relationships, whether that is casual sex or a well established label, such as boyfriend and girlfrirnd. But, I top of that... when sex is used as a tool to show control over someone else, that's wicked.

I don't feel it was as tragic of an experience for me. It was all whatever, lol. So, no need to be apologetic. But, if I was you and I was listening to someone like me... my heart would go out to them. Because sex is a gift that is given and offered, not a tool to control others. But, some men and women use it as a tool.

By the way, I know I sound like a whore or something, because I've had sexual partners, but no boyfriend. But, in my defense I don't think I've had many sexual partners. Nor a lot of sexual experience in general. I'm still the girl that doesn't know what most people seem to know and have experienced when it comes to sex. Also, I'm not currently sexually active. And now I know that when men give me attention they don't want a relationship. They just want sex from me. So, I ignore them. It just took me a few years when I was younger to figure that out.

 

I don't think you sound like a whore at all.

 

Im sorry you lost your buddy!!

 

Wait, you had casual sex with the second guy you used to date? I don't know much about casual sexing, but I would think that's the problem. Having causal sex with someone you used to have a deeper interaction with. I would think that is just as bad as having casual sex with someone that has deeper feelings for you or you for them. So, if I was you I would get someone totally new. That is if you can separate the interaction from everything else, and make it just about sex. If you can't, maybe it's best if you don't take part in casual sexing. But, like I also said having casual sex during self-discovery, and realizing that casual sexing isn't for you isn't the most destructive thing one can do.

Bottom line?

It's all whatever. It's your life and body. No one can tell you what is the right or wrong thing to do in this situation. AND YOU KNOW BEST, in regards to this situation.

So...
... happy casual sexing?
Or...
... be one with yourself, young one?

Hey, if you figure out a third option, hit me up and let me know about it, please. Because that's where I am at right now. There has to be more than this, right? What I want from a guy these days is a good massage, because I'm so freaky sick and uncomfortable, physically speaking... that is.

 

Oh, cool. Being seen as a whore on an Internet forum is not in my bucket list. So, thanks.

 

guys have shitty lifespans, so unless you go the cougar route there's a good chance of dying alone anyway...

 

I can't wait to be a cougar.

Also, firefly I hope you don't take offense, I am not really good at expressing my opinion diplomatically. You seem like a cool chick. I have been through the whole codependent thing so I was just offering my perspective, perhaps not in the nicest way.

 

Haha, me too. I can't wait to get old, period. There is just someone about older folks that has always attracted me. Also, I think I would look so cool with grey, straight hair. I find grey hair so beautiful.

*claps hands and jumps*
One day. One day.