So I met a girl that I straight up hit it off with like to the point she's the female version of me. We've been seeing each other for 5 weeks now and I'm a little confused. The first week before we really knew each other we had sex. Then the next time she didn't want it and kinda pushed away any affection I sent towards so I pulled away. She came back and started giving me feels and as soon as I would make a move she would pull back. This went on for an hour till I asked her "do you not like sex?" and she said "no, it's not that" "it's that I really like you and I don't wanna have sex because I really like you". In my head I was like ok that sounds legit because I've been really digging her too. But then the next day I get an invite to come to a brew party and a picture of her dressed super sexy (she's a tom girl and hardly ever dresses up). So I was pretty pumped to see her in person dressed like that. We had a great night and ended up having sex. Now the confusing part was the next week. I hung out with her 4 to 5 times since that night and she pulled away everytime. Now don't get me wrong If I was in it for just the sex I wouldn't keep hanging with her. I genuinely enjoy spending time with her but I also want some affection from her. This has me wondering a couple things 1. Should we just be friends? 2. Is it possible for her to really like me that much that she's holding out? 3. Does she just simply have a low sex drive? 4. Does she have someone else on the side? 5. I gave her an orgasm the last time so I'd rule out me but it's still possible. Just being real! Has anyone else experienced this? I've been with quite a few women in my life. I've never felt this way this early on but it has me stumped.
just go along with it and forget trying to understand it because we never will...enjoy it when its there ...enjoy other things when its not there
She already told you. She likes you so she wants to make you work for it. Maybe build something beyond sex and see if that's all you want. Sometimes she gives in to her urges then she regrets it. I would not be surprised if she has been with several guys and it's her pattern to be quick with sex. She wants to change that.
She's a chick, they like to be in charge, and make you prove your worthiness by making you work for it and taking charge. That's the excuse women use when they're not sure. Nothing is easy you know. Most seem f'd up in the head nowadays anyway, so nothing should surprise you. Don't let your heart get ahead of you. I'm not going to comment further cause it will upset the gals here. Life is life and they are in charge. Play it like a game, just like they do. Don't worry about it, there are 7 billion people in the world, no reason to get sucked into one-itis.
BTW, sorry if my post is harsh. Was talking to a friend today who was discussing such things and we've seen some crap in our lives. Held on to it all I guess. Good luck, hopefully things will work out for whoever needs it.
The mansplaining is thick! Look, she is also figuring out what she may or may not want with you. There may be issues of lowered inhibitions with alcohol, etc. Do you really want to date "a female version of me?" It isn't all that fun long term.
drumminmama might have a point... Sometimes we need to see things from their perspective too. Seriously...sometimes they have their reasons, that you don't know. And likely won't tell you. Look for hints...of...things. I was with one in my twenties that was kind of like this. Turns out we were too alike, yet she'd been burned a lot and I was used to doing what I want, but always loyal to her. She wasn't... I've caught her in Walmart in the aisle across from me several times in the last twenty years, watching me...she knows if she were more honest with me, and if I'd been more mature we'd have been great together.
It could be a lot of things... maybe she has been hurt before and is guarded about it a little bit... the timing could've felt right the first time you guys got together but then she had thoughts of, this is moving too fast... i totally understand your confusion because I'm sure I'd have the same type of thoughts... but as long as she's not avoiding you and screening your calls or really giving you the vibe that she's not into you, I would take it slow and not push the issue of sex... you can talk to her and try to see into her past a bit (I wouldn't necessarily ask again if she's not into having sex) ... dig into who she is a little bit... I'm sure you wanting to talk to her will build some necessary trust so you can move forward... Good luck
