Just Curious: if you are a christian and masturbate

Masturbation is a no no in Catholic Church, that means I am not a good Catholic. When I first started doing it, I feel guilty as well :sad:.

 

Yeah, you're probably going to hell. We all are. I don't believe in any of that Jesus bullshit so I don't have to worry about feeling guilty for spinning the bean. I feel like there are bigger and better things that I've done to send me to hell than self pleasure. I've already got my nice warm condo picked out.

 

As a man of god I absolve you and for penitence I recommend 10 Bloody Marys and 10 Hows Your Fathers.

C/S,
Rev J

 

The Bible is also against mixed fabric clothing I think... so like if you have a shirt or trousers or whatever that are mixed between cotton and polyester or silk and cotton or anything then I think that's a sin too xD

There are lots of them. The Bible is full of a lot of strange stuff.

Most of it it seems that Christians just pretend isn't even there and instead focus on things like gay marriage and masturbation.

 

The bible is a work of fiction. Nothing more than someone's opinion. Why do you think there are so many versions of it? That' not anything I would choose to live my life by. Religion instills fear in people. Why someone would choose to be part of a cult (by definition) that makes you fear an unknown entity is beyond me. Clearly it has worked since the OP is scared because she masturbates. I don't need some child molester that is taking my money to tell me to be a good person. I can figure that out on my own without having the shit scared out of me once a week for my life choices.

Honestly, I think I am a better person than most Christians I know. I'm a good person because I choose to be that way. Not because I'm scared that I won't end up in God's Kingdom when I die. No matter where I end up in the afterworld I surround myself with people like me so I'll still have badass people to hang out with. No matter where I go, they will be there too.

*steps down from my soapbox* Feel free to rip me a new asshole. Those are just my opinions. No matter what anybody says they won't change.

 

jesus fucking christ.. not this shit again..

 

LOL:2thumbsup:

 

Masturbation is good for you. You have my blessing.

 

I don't believe that Bible actually prohibits masturbation anywhere, explicitly.

Maybe:

Matt 5:28-29 (NIV) [Jesus:] "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell."

 

Just came back from Episcopal church. Feel totally cleansed and renewed.

I masturbate and sleep around. These are extremely minor things. It's about how you treat people. Love God, Love your neighbor. Jesus didn't go through all of that so that people could be afraid to go to hell.

 

Gouge an eye out and throw it away? Well, thats sane.

 

I'm sure that if there is an all seeing, all powerful deity that created EVERYTHING---he/she/it would be right on top of those that like to slide the skin up and down on their peckers and would therefore wreak some heavy vengeance. Important stuff right there.

 

Im sure Regan Teresa MacNeil has some masturbation tips for you..

 

HOW TO CLEAN YOUR PECKER.

Woman takes her uncircumcised boy to the doctor so he can inform him how to keep himself clean.

Doc says--#1. Take pecker out.

#2. Pull pecker skin down.

#3. Wash pecker.

#4. Pull pecker skin back up.

#5. Put pecker away.

Woman takes boy back to doc. Doc asks how boy is doing with the routine.

Woman says " real good, only he seems to be skipping some numbers. I heard him last night-----2- 4- 2-4-2-4-2-4

 

HAHAHA. Nice!

 

Thats what she said

 

The only thing in the Bible that comes anywhere close to masturbation is the story of Onan, which is what the Catholic Church, in particular beat boys over the head with.

All in all, the whole story is rather ironic as far as the Catholics are concerned. It refers to the ancient Hebrew law that if a man dies without male issue, then his brother should impregnate his widow for him.

Onan, however, when placed in this situation took advantage of having sex, but rather than letting her get pregnant, he pulled out, "letting his seed fall upon barren land" & causing God's displeasure. This is what the Catholics consider to be describing the act of masturbation & the sin incurred thereof. The really ironic part, though, is that the Withdrawal Method is the only form of Birth Control that they officially approve of.

 

I went to Catholic school my entire life, attend Catholic church, I masturbate all the time and figure...God understands why...and...at least I am not murdering people, could be doing something way worse. It's cool...He gets it.....you aren't bound for Hell.

 

If masturbating sends you to Hell, then I guess we will all get to meet up someday.

 

I had guilt about it during my early teens. I used to vow to stop. I even had a priest lecture my class about not starting masturbation because it's hard to stop & its wrong. Got over that and never looked back by the time I hit 17. I was committing bigger "sins" by then anyway.