Just a question, nothing big

and now having males trying to shove you back into the dark ages helps too
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there's bound to be some hiccups.

 

actually that was a typo

it should have read

and NOT having men trying to shove women back into the dark ages helps too
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lol. it worked as sarcasm, though. a truly free female population is a terrifying concept to men who were used to being deferred to, really, for no good reason. mind you, i defer to dave, but that's because he earned it. having to earn it is pretty scary if you're used to it just being handed to you, you know?

 

to me touching someone on the shoulder as always been a more reasurring gesture.
I recently met a guy in a cafe accidently, we don't like each other, but he's worked quite hard recently to make up for any offense he's caused (long story I won't go into it) anyway, I kept our interaction short and sweet but I did end it with touching him on the shoulder, it wasn't a thought out gesture, when I thought about it afterwards, it was me saying that I didn't bear him any ill will
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yup. though sometimes i touch someone on the shoulder to alert them i'm there. i'm super quiet, i tend to startle people. but i reach WAY out with my hand, just in case they're hitters when they're startled. i think i'm making enough noise, i try to make more noise, but years of stepping lightly is hard to get rid of. my friends and family all wanna put bells on me.

 

and actually to the author of the thread, a touch on the shoulder could be a way that someone can keep you at arms lengh
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yup. it's all about reading the signals and looking someone in the eyes is a very important part of that. i've been in a couple situations where a friend of my husband's had started to lean in just a bit too close, gotten a bit too interested. i hand on the shoulder and a look in the eyes tends to be just enough to show you're still friends, but nothing more than that.

 

and if he gropes your tits because he misread the signals a knee in the critch would make it clear (that was a joke, I don't condole physical violence) but for a guy to assume that a gesture is 'coming on to you' could be making a very bad mistake
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yeah, i don't tolerate groping, i can be pretty scary when someone pushes me too far. i'm not a touchy-feely person except with my friends. my friends can't keep their hands off me. i'm like a big comfie teddy bear to them. i don't mind that. hugs and kisses make me feel akward, though. and very few men touch me anymore, unless i initiate it. it was really nice to learn that skill of giving them JUST THE RIGHT look.

 

...reminds me of this article from the Onion
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/sources_barista_not

the only time i'm "cold" to men (I'm in a relationship) is when they act like assholes and yell derogatory things at me. Shit like that doesnt deserve my friendliness. My friends however, who are mostly guys do.
I don't keep my smiles and friendliness locked away for just my boyfriend. I have other things for him

 

"I have other things for him" Haha, that was cute.

 

okay, well done. now back away slowly, she's not flirting with you...

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

I didn't find that funny at all.

 

you shoulda. that was good. that was called "lighthearted teasing." hence the

 

I have a lot of guy friends... are you saying I should be cold and unfriendly to them because I'm in a relationship? Whats wrong with being nice to people just because they're the opposite sex? Sorry if someone is getting the wrong signals but thats your problem. I'm allowed to talk to people whatever way I want and I like to be friendly to my friends, make sense? I don't put my arm around them or anything and talking to them in a friendly way is NOT flirting... if their jokes are funny I'll laugh at them, if they're talking I'll listen.... normal friendly relationships...

 

Oh lighten up
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I got a question for the OP, if you want attached girls to act cold, how do you want unattached females who are not interested in you, how should they act? Y'know so messages don't get mixed up.

 

^^That's a good question. Hopefully there's a universal answer...