Just A Gentle Reminder....

And did he took the Creedence tapes?

 

it was when i was doing pizza delivery. i came back from a delivery, he caught me getting out of my car. i gave him a few bucks, went into the store to get another delivery, and came back out a minute later to find my door open and my money gone.

 

A couple of points.....

Either give to them or don't but don't give cash with expectations. If I give a homeless person $5 and he buys booze with it....so what? If that made him happy, fine by me. If he was hungry and he bought food and that made him happy, fine by me. What's he supposed to do with it? Invest it in the stock market and improve his financial worth? Let him be happy.

And....you have a right to think poorly of a person but you have no right to make them feel that way.

This reminds me of a story I may have shared before. Short version...I was maybe 12 and used to ride my skateboard at this plaza in Nashville. I met a homeless couple who hadn't eaten yet that day. I invited them to my house and made them a warm meal....nothing fancy. They were still there when my mom came home. She was gracious about it but when they left she asked me what the hell I was thinking. (Paraphrasing) I said "I was feeding the poor". She said "We ARE the poor!" I said something like "Well....we're not as poor as they are". She couldn't really yell at me too much and she wasn't thrilled but I think she was kind of proud of me.

 

Well, from my perspective, it's just feeding a self-destructive addiction, not really helping them.

 

You could say, "And he took the Creedence tapes?", or, "And did he take the Creedence tapes?"

English is a fucked-up language.

 

True. But I'm not changing the world or their lives by not giving them money on moral grounds. As someone mentioned before...maybe I'm helping to stop them from stealing it from someone else. To think I'm helping them by not giving them money is kind a self-serving mentality. I mean...I totally get what you're saying but if I give them money...it's a gift to do with whatever they want. I can understand the thought process of.....I don't have shit, I'm not going to have shit next week, I can get a bite to eat at the shelter and I'm having a crummy time and would like to enjoy a couple of beers. It doesn't mean it's even a "self-destructive addiction" (even though many are addicted). Everyone's story is different. It's like...anytime a homeless person is enjoying a beer or whatever....the same thing the rest of us enjoy....they automatically must be worthless drunks and not entitled to that one simple pleasure. That beer may represent the only time that day when they've been able to just relax and enjoy something in their life. Let them have that.

 

It's up to you to know where your money is going, and how they use it. I know some good people.

If it's a true addiction, he's not going to be happy. Addicts are never happy. If he doesn't have an alcohol problem, how much fun can it be to get wasted in an alley with rats? He's more vulnerable to getting beat up for whatever cash he might have left. No matter what he does, I think his evening is going to suck.

Maybe the right charitable organization can change their lives. They have so much experience. The good ones ask the right questions and get to root causes of problems.

And, about what you said about street people needing to have a little fun now and then, one of the cities in my area has free concerts downtown every week of the spring, summer, and fall. No dress code, no ID check, no anything, just walk up and listen.

 

I can see your point. When I was asked for money for food I just believed them so I felt a fool when I later saw them with their cask of wine.

I did not, nor would not make someone feel like shit for their choices though.

 

12 step programs use the label "enabler" for people who are trying to help an addict, but are manipulated into doing things that make the situation worse. I don't want to be tricked into playing that role.

A high percentage of the homeless in America have much bigger problems than just lack of funds. Quite a few have untreated mental illnesses. They need a lot more help than the average ordinary person on the street can give them.

 

probably about twice as fun as being sober in an alley with rats.

 

If you don't bring enough for them to drink too, they won't laugh at any of your jokes. No fun.

 

people are addicted to money too. or aggressiveness. or trying to be impressive. all of which get different people just as depressed and suicidal. or harmful to themselves and each other in different ways.

just something to consider before breaking one's own arm, patting themselves on the back, for how much they're helping someone.

if i'm going to judge someone, i can find things that have a lot more affect on the kind of world i have to live in, then deteriorating themselves recreationally.

 

My boyfriend and I were going out to breakfast one day, when we saw this woman holding a "homeless- need help" sign. We invited her to eat with us and talked to her, got to know her. Turns out that she was a school teacher for several years, and her husband was a computer tech, but she got sick and couldn't work anymore, and her husband had to take care of her. They became homeless- lost their house, their car, all their belongings. They were living part-time on the street and part-time in a shelter. She told me she used to look at homeless people with disgust and figure they were just addicts, alcoholics, or lazy, and she wouldn't look at them. But then she became homeless.

Moral of the story, this lady was an amazing person who just had bad luck. I gave her $150 and still bring her with me every time I go to breakfast at the restaurant. If you see a homeless person, offer to take them to breakfast, even somewhere cheap, and get to know them and their story. Everyone has a story that deserves to be told and heard- be that person.

 

I'm actually skeptical of any story someone tells me... there's a tendancy to either leave out details or outright lie.

That doesn't mean though that I don't believe that there are a lot of genuine hard luck stories out there. Health problems are one of the major reasons why someone becomes homeless.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THxtcWNw3QA

 

People do lie. For sure. But not just homeless people. We all know people who lie. Let's start with the ones who really affect a lot of others...like politicians and fuckers like those responsible for the sub-prime mortgage crisis, etc. If I was homeless (and I have been) I wouldn't be above a little revisionist history to help my cause. What do I have to lose?

And...to be sure....I've responded to a few of your posts in this thread but I'm really not trying to knock ya or anything. Just playing the devils advocate. All good-natured conversation on my end.

 

That's one reason why it's so important to fund the homeless shelters adequately. Some people don't want to support them because they assume that everyone there deserves every bad thing that has happened to them.

 

No worries, no offense taken

Don't even get me started on the whole sub-prime thing. So many ordinary people got reemed so hard on that it makes me want to puke. I bet lots of the homeless folks in that video were made homeless by evictions in the sub-prime scam.

I don't blame homless people if they lie. Maybe hoping for a little more money, or even just a little more sympathy or respect.

I remember one dude telling me that his rich family wouldn't give him money, especially his cousin MICHAEL BOLTON!

Well, maybe that dude was telling the truth, but I have my doubts.

 

Sometimes it gets into serious money.

I used to know a guy who was pastor of a small town church. He told me a story about a man who came into the church office one morning and said he was from out of state, and needed $500 for a car repair to get home. He was out of cash and had no credit. The pastor told him it would take a few hours to make the arrangements, and he needed the man's driver's license information to process the request.

The pastor then called the local Salvation Army office, which all the local churches were using as a central database. The Salvation Army told him that the man had already received $500 from two other churches, and requested $500 each from seven others. So, if they hadn't all been cooperating and coordinating through a single organization, that guy might have left town with $5000 cash in his pocket. Money that could have been used to help other people who had more legitimate needs.

Last year, I helped out with a fundraiser that provided money for a building addition that had added 30 new beds to a homeless shelter. This year, I hope they'll do a fundraising event to raise cash for additional professional counseling services. We need to find out exactly why people are in homeless shelters; whether they have a short-term or long-term problem, and help them find solutions that last a lot longer than one night.

I'm not so worried about people with good educations who lost homes in the real estate crisis. They do need safe places to spend the night for now, but they will eventually find decent jobs, and someday they will be fine. Some of the others may die before they find solutions to their problems. Society has truly failed them, and we need to do better.

I've memorized the street addresses and basic directions to the best homeless shelter and soup kitchen in town. That's what I give to street people who ask me for cash. My charity money is waiting for them there.

 

Yeah, a lot of people do lie. But there's a way to get around that. Most cities have homeless vendors that sell a newspaper for a buck. They have I.D., and they are quite serious about getting off the streets. It's not a hand out. The paper usually will cost a dollar, and the vendor can only get copies of the newspaper to sell for around 25 cents or so (I used to be an editor of a homeless newspaper in town, but this was a long time ago...)

So he/she makes 75 cents on every paper sold. This is MUCH more than a homeless person will ever receive from a so-called charity. Plus there's the bonus of knowing that one has earned the money which will help them to get off the streets. It does a lot for one's pride and dignity. So I say spend a buck on a homeless newspaper, and screw the so-called charities that really are nothing more than poverty pimps.

This may sound harsh? But I think most homeless people are not just bums looking to scam the system. You might want to take a longer look at the system that is profiting big time from the poor and homeless