Judging attractiveness

more cushin for the pushin i suppose...???

 

Because we brought a fulfillment to eachother that was ultimately based in what is commonly referred to as the mind*; the mind moves the body. I liked her kind nature, we could relate about many things and where we did not relate strongly we would make a 'positive.' I think that, in way, this is far too complex and subtle to easily, if at all, define; but that does not mean that I will stop trying.



*by "commonly referred to" I mean that how her body moved (e.g. how she spoke, how she walked) was largely, from my view, an expression of her personality.
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Alot of people are symmetric, and yes... the general population would probebly agree that the best looking kind of "fat" person is one who has the fat distributed equaly.

I agree, it is about personal preference, but that preference is not enscribed in our brains. I believe that that principle is inserted into us by society.

 

But aren't most people bombarded by the media in equal amounts?

I'm by no means thin and I once dated a guy who was addicted to TV and video games. Figure that one out.

 

The media is not the key element here. Society usually presents people with different roles. Fat people are more socially accepted to date fat people just like skinny people are more socially accepted to date skinny people. Yet, if a person grew up in a home or society in which he was exposed and encouraged to dating people who are "by no means thin" then this acculturation can overpass anything a TV tell him.

 

I'm not just talking about weight though. I mean, is it more socially acceptable for blondes to date blondes? Why do some people prefer blondes over brunettes while some do not? it's a very curious thing.

 

My theory does not only work for weight, you can apply it to any phenotypical aspect of a person.

Another idea that popped to mind:

People might be attracted to certain things in other people because of past experiences with people of that kind.
If blondes have treated you well all of your life and have shown to be good people, you might be more physically attracted to them in the future just by looks.

 

Yes, yes, yes !

It is interesting to me that if one watchs people by a 'campfire,' by the fireplace or under the moon there appears to be a state that exists where people tend to stare into the light and dream or I'll say "day dream." If you watch people when they become calm and are physically positioned so as to be relaxed and able to look at the light source they will often go into this state if not diverted by other factors in the immediate environment. Connecting this idea with T.V. is odd in that when I watch people non-actively watching T.V. the state appears to be similar - the difference being that the T.V. is animated with human-generated information that a human can relate to.


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That was a beautiful explanation. I can say that I completely agree with you about personality being the big winner over looks. I have dated an average guy, a lanky skinny guy, a short guy, an a big guy. I can say that which each person there was a certain spark about each of them and it was more about personality then looks. Things ended because of personality as well, so to each his own.



Annie, it is chemical. You can't question brain chemistry like that, it has to do with the lower brain thinking and that is sporatic, no lineage to it.

 

annie-
people have different experiences in life and different things that they need and/or are looking for... so that is one part- you see something in a given person that is something you are looking for- consiously or subconsciously

also a part of it is.... the glimpses of people we get- they may be totally untypical of the person and random... a given person may typically be a certain way but if they show a different- maybe better side- on a first impression or a first or very important impression of sadness that we talk to them (a time of need if you may)- we will start to see and feel them differently then other people do.

also things in common... could be superficial things.. usually is...stronger bonds can be formed on-let's see... mom died of cancer, his sister has breast cancer... connection
they can talk and other people dont get him but she sees his sensitivity so he is beautifl to her.

 

top of the list is "kindness"

 

Couldn't tell ya

I know I have my preferences, but I've certainly found beauty and loved a few women who haven't really fit what I'd say my typical preferences are in terms of appearance and personality. Sometimes you connect with people you'd least expect to, so you go with that feeling and while things are good, they embody your preferences because you love them.

 

Attractive girls in Buffalo are few, but once in a while I'm walking around campus, and a marvelous thing of beauty will pass me by, and they always brighten my day. That happened today. I wish I could have given her a rose or something just for being beautiful or let her know, but it just doesn't happen that way. Maybe someday I'll see her again and be able to speak.

I attribute this kind of taste to the environment one was raised in/experiences/beliefs. I was raised in a fairly whole-grain environment, and the whole-grain-style girls are always attractive. It's not so much features as indication of personality, I think. Long hair is sweet, lack of makeup is awesome, beyond that, it's just small picky things. Makeup is really the major one. You can't judge beauty if you don't know what they look like, right?

 

I'm usually pretty set on my type. I dig guys who are super funny, smart nice, love kids, empathetic, good listeners, touchy feeley-with me only d:, broad shoulders, tall, super masuline but inherently so ie-not feeling like they have to prove it, clean cut but have like a sparkle in their eyes that say they're not so clean cut and conformital (is that a word hah) inside...I can't put my finger on what my type is but I for sure have one I just can't articulate it perfectly.

 

oh and good kissers help...ya know where it starts off slow and soft and then five minutes later it's just all over the place...sigh I'm horny...and drunk...I would be so fun right now...sigh what a waste that I'm here all alone in a baggy fleece sweatshirt and flannel jammies...mmmmmmmm arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

We hook up with close copies of our opposite parent...

Well ok, we end up with them.

We spend our lives picking up and discarding stuff depending on whether we like it or not.. Same has to be true of our relationships..

Our tastes develop all the time, and eventually, they can end up seeming bizarre to people who may have traces of the same tastes as each one of us.

ie:- Hating tanned skin develops into preferring porcelein white. Our experiences make the choices, then our mind sorts them into preferences

 

actually the new theory is that we pick people similar to ourselves and those that pick a partner becuase of the electra complex wind up unhappy.

 

People similar too ourselves...

R. D. Laing would be turning in his grave if he heard that one..

If there ARE mechanics at work when it comes to relationships, then it's in the sense that our conscious and subconscious are constantly analysing our experiences.

If an experience hurts us, physically or emotionally, then consciously, and often subconsciously, we then either learn from it, avoid it, or find a certain fascination with that experience, and the source of it.

We don't always hide from what hurts us, and I can't explain that, but our mind makes mistakes I guess, and that could be why we as individuals end up with such different preferences to other individuals

 

I can think of loads of different factors that constitute what people find attractive...

1. Universal beauty
Some things are universally considered as beautiful. Members of every species are instinctively attracted to their own species, and the more 'normal' a creature looks, the less ambiguity there is over its species. Therefore people who look 'very typically human' are more attractive, and people who look 'weird' are less attractive. We also find health attractive, along with anything that indicates good health, such as facial symmerty. (People with symmetrical features look more healthy, because non-symmetrical features suggest less-than-perfect conditions in the womb.)

2. Evolutionary attractions
There are things we look for in a partner based on the way humans have evolved. For example, men look for women who look healthy enough to bear their children, and women look for men who seem resourceful enough to provide for their children, or strong enough to protect the family.

3. Genetic attraction
Genetically, we are more likely to be attracted to a partner whose genes will complement our own to make the healthiest offspring possible. For example, we are each attracted to the smell of different types of sweat, and the sweat we find the most attractive is the sweat which differs the most from our own genetically, which would give our children a more diverse genetic makeup and

4. Racial attraction
I don't know much about this, but I know that we tend to find closely-related people (ie cousins) more attractive than distant relatives. There is also a tendency to prefer to make a family with a member of our own ethnic group, but I don't know why any of this is.

5. Psychological attraction
Most people develop personal tastes based on the devlopment of their sexuality and experiences within their life. In many instances, this is just as much to do with how a person behaves than how they look.

6. Social attraction
In terms of fashion and styling, many people are attracted to what is currently fashionable. For example, it seems to be the current fashion that slim women with large breasts and tanned skin are seen to be the most beautiful by society. And men must have smooth-shaven chests!

7. Suggested attraction
Most people will find someone attractive if they are continually told (by the media, or otherwise) that that person is attractive.

Of course, many of these 7 factors conflict with each other, which gives even more diversity!

 

The seven deadly sins!

What a wonderful answer..

Of course, it's not a mechanical reason, but maybe there actually isn't one.. Just that we really don't know how our mind comes up with what we'll be doing in the future.