Journal #34, March 9 (NSFW)

Out of all the possibilities in the universe, out of all the billions of people on the planet, all i want is to find about twenty guys who are willing to spend several hours taking turns fucking me.

I crave this overwhelming emotional experience so much! I want to lose myself in the frenzy of a group of horny men as they strip me of my clothes and leave me vulnerable to their approach. I long to taste their dicks as they grow hard in my mouth, and to feel them go in and out of me. I want so much cum inside me too! I want it to be absorbed into my body so all those guys become part of me in a real way.

For days afterwards I want to feel the pain from it: when I walk, when I cough, when I sit down. I want the taste of cum to stay in my mouth. I want to be reminded of it constantly. I want it to make me so horny I have to jerk off often and remember fondly how so many guys used me for sex and came inside me.

Is that too much to ask for?

 

Offhand, I would say no - it's not too much to ask for but arranging for twenty guys to give you da bizness might be a bit problematic; not impossible, not even improbable - just hard to find twenty guys you can trust. Now, having said that - and me being myself - I gotta ask what you've done toward making this happen? Next would be is this fantasy or a reality you seriously want to realize? And, finally, if it's something you really want to do, you'll find a way to do it.

 

Of course the idea of realizing this is riddled with problems. I don't feel frustrated per se, just pretty horny at times to be honest and blunt about it. It's like a lottery fantasy. It would be a dream to happen, but I don't realistically expect it to happen, in this case because too many things have to happen in order and are quite unlikely to do so, and I'm OK if they never do happen, so I won't take up too much of my time and effort trying to make it happen, but I will try if I have some spare time and horny.
I understand your drive to ask questions of me. To answer them:

1. I put a few personals ads, here and a few other places.
2. As I imply before, for all practical purposes this is a fantasy. The chances of getting two people to vibe together is hard enough. Adding another person decreases the chances of things working out by 1/2^x. I choose to put my efforts into other things. Fantasizing about it is a fun thing I like to do.
3. You have said this before and I still don't dispute it. But one of the implications of that might be I am willing to compromise on some things in order to make it happen. As far as safety, which really makes the pool smaller, I am not. What else is there? And if there is anything else, am I willing to compromise on any of it?

 

Maybe start with two or three

 

Thanks for the advice. Probably won't ever be able to pull off more than that anyways.

 

Now that I'm thinking about it, this is something I sincerely want to experience at least once in my lifetime. I want to have different kinds of sexual experiences and I am so far behind!

 

Then I'd say that you have some serious catching up to do... and that you should eagerly be about it - safely, of course, but don't be afraid of making mistakes because not every M2M encounter has a "storybook" ending or is going to go the way you imagine it.

 

I suppose it’s possibly easier for a girl to get into gangbangs easier that it is for guys and I suppose it also matters where you live to find a willing population to do it? I found just by hunting at bars, that I could fairly easily get 5-6 guys for a mini-gangbang. But the 20+ guy range takes much more coordination and unless you are going to a sex club. For myself, I managed to find 5 guys who have connections at local bars and clubs and they have been quite successful at setting up sex events for me. I now find that I can do a fairly big event of more than 20, generally every two weeks! I do frequently need the time to recuperate, as it can get wild and there are risks, so it’s certainly not for everyone.

 

I envy your connections!
Now that you bring up location, Rust Bet cities don't seem to be a haven for the freaky, at least those the least bit out in the open. People around here fortunately have sex before marriage, and it's not the South so small LGBT communities are allowed to exist. As an indication of sex positivity, I don't know of any sex clubs around here. There isn't even a bathhouse here anymore.
And it remains to be seen if getting gangbanged is for me, I guess. It's my wildest fantasy, and I'm pretty sure I'm overlooking at least one aspect of this in considering realizing this highest fantasy. But I digress. Experience will give me a better idea of this. Hopefully I won't hate it. Hopefully the experience will make me love it more. Who knows?