Joking around at work

I think I'm known as the serious guy at work. I work really hard, but it's all so I can go home and fuck off. I don't know...I feel so misunderstood. But maybe I'm not. I don't joke around a lot, but it's just because I'm shy. Also, the things I want to say are very outlandish. I'd get myself in a real fix if I said everything I want to say. That's the problem. I can never speak my mind, so everyone thinks I'm very serious. In reality, if I could speak my mind, I'd just be like, "You stupid fucker." But totally facetiously. Or "You old dumb ****." Who's going to get that? No one. I'm just over the top by nature. It sucks. I would love to call one of my coworkers an old dumb ****, but she wouldn't get it. It'd be this big thing.

 

Not trying to call you out or anything but didn't you just say a week or so ago that you get drunk before work regularly because you don't give a shit and nobody talks to you enough to notice anyway?

I'm only asking because that could maybe play into how jokes are taken at work.

 

I never said I did that regularly. I just said I'd do it if I wanted to. It doesn't matter. And I don't give a shit, though I still do work no one else will. I'm just a highly efficient person. It doesn't matter if I'm drunk at work. It's all routine. I still do a better job than anyone else. They just don't pay attention to what everyone else is doing, such that you can make their work easier for them and yourself. I do.

I just worry that people get the wrong impression of me. People keep apologizing to me for getting in my way. It's not necessary. People have even called me "sir" before. I just worry that people get the wrong impression of me. I'm not strict at all. If I were running the place, it'd be fuck all, because I just don't care. Fuck the customer. That's my policy.

 

If you want to get drunk at work I'd suggest coming to work for me. I'll put you on Oktoberfest roster. Easy peas. Jump on bus with guests, take them to Oktoberfest, make sure they get drunk and have a good time, also make sure you're drunk and having a good time. Get back on bus, hopefully with all guests, come back home. If a guest doesn't make the bus, they're waiting until tomorrow evening.

 

I don't even like getting drunk at work. It's just that I have no other drugs. Soon I"m going to order what legal drugs I can, and then I'm going to be high at work, and I don't give a shit.

I'll work for you, though, Irmunsul, and I'll be your best employee.

 

My best employee doesn't even really work that hard, he's just fun to be around. He's from New York. big Tonez! He's just fun.

 

Where do I sign up for that job? I'm a fucking incredibly professional drinker.....most of the time.

 

Well, you sign up just with me. We welcome foreigners because they can speak English and gel with tourists who are mostly UK, American or Australia. So, we take in Americans a lot that come over.

Tonez came for a 6month summer gig and he's enjoyed it so much, he's been here for 2 years. I'd say the free rent is a selling point. I mean he only has a room to sleep in, but.. Everything else is in the workers quarters in the hostel. for the most part we don't mind him jamming on his guitar either. But the sometimes you gotta say "OI TONEZ! SHUT UP!"

But! You gotta get in early because at the moment we've got the winter crew signing back up for next season already.

 

Well shit....I know a few chords on guitar!!

 

Well shiiiat, homie, tell me you can pour a drink and were done, dusted and hosed.

Oh, but can you take a joke and not get all upset about it and work around people who probably swear a lot and make rude, sexist, politically incorrect jokes? Or make those jokes when needed, that will not get you fired.

 

Work is serious business!

 

If I didnt have a child and responsibilities I would be buying my plane ticket right now and coming to work for Irm

 

Would be funny if you really did end up working for Irm thinking it would be fun and as soon as you got to work she started yelling and barking orders at you like a drill sergeant.

 

I wouldn't work for Irm. She doesn't take it seriously enough. That's the kind of worker I am. A fucking prick.

 

Are you feeling ok?

 

Sounds like the ideal job to me---if I wasn't 150 years old--I'd be onnit!

 

80 is the new 30 scratcho.

 

I'm blessed with not dealing with the same folks for longer than 5 minutes and have lots of short banter. I would swear some just count on it if I come by
There's also some folks and adresses you know you don't bother joking. That's fine too Different folks, different strokes

Why did you put the word 'like' in there?

I can assure you that's not everywhere the case in a longshot. And.. in a lot of places watching what kind of jokes you crack was always smart or even neccessary

 

Your theory on bosses probably right. On another note, it sounds like you've done some pretty interesting things in your time. I always imagine being involved in surgery must be pretty intense. I don't think I'd be able to cope well with deaths.

 

If @Irminsul grew bud, I’d work for her.