Joke for today An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr.Geezer's clinic. Get your treatment for £500, if not cured, get back £1,000." Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get £1,000. So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic. Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?" Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth." Dr. Young: "Aaagh! - this is Gasoline!" Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be £500." Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money. Dr. Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything." Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth." Dr. Young: "Oh, no you don't, - that is Gasoline!" Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be £500." Dr. Young (after having lost £1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days. Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak - I can hardly see anything! Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so, here's your £1000 back." (giving him a £10 note) Dr. Young: "But this is only £10!" Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back; that will be £500." Moral of story - Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an "old Geezer"*
farmer stopped by the local > mechanics shop to have his truck fixed.They couldn’t do it while he > waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk > home.On the way home he stopped at the > hardware store and bought a bucket and 5 litres of > paint.He then stopped by the feed store > and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.Outside the store he realised he > now had a problem: how to carry all his purchases > home.While he was scratching his head > he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was > lost.She asked, ‘Can you tell me > how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?’The farmer said, ‘Well, as a > matter of fact, my farm is very close to > there.I would walk you there but I > can’t carry this lot.’The old lady suggested, ‘Why > don’t you put the can of paint in the > bucket.Carry the bucket in one hand, put > a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other > hand?‘‘Why thank you very > much,‘ he said and proceeded to walk > the old girl home.On the way he says, ‘Let’s > take my short cut and go down this alley, we’ll be there > in no time.’The little old lady looked him > over cautiously then said, ‘I am a lonely widow without > a husband to defend me..How do I know that when we get in > the alley you won’t hold me up against the wall, pull up > my skirt and have your way with me?’The farmer said, ‘Holy > smokes lady! I’m carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two > chickens and a goose.How in the world could I possibly > hold you up against the wall and do that?‘The old lady replied, ‘Set > the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on > top of the bucket, and I’ll hold the > chickens.’
