And says to the Maitre'd "Table for 26 please" Confused, the Maitre'd does a quick head count, and says "But there are only 13 of you." Jesus replies "Yes, but we are all going to sit on the same side"
A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, "What are you doing?" She answers, "I'm moving to London. I heard prostitutes there get paid £400 for doing what I do for you for free." Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm coming too I want to see how you live on £800 a year".
40 Gypsies arrive at the Pearly Gates in their Transit vans and caravans. St Peter goes into the gatehouse and phones up God, saying. 'I've got 40 travellers here. Can I let them in?' God says 'We are over quota on gypo's . Go out and tell them to choose between them which are the 12 most worthy, and I will let just the dozen in.' Less than a minute later St Peter is on the phone to God again. 'They've gone', he tells God. 'What?' says God, 'All 40 of them?' 'No, the f***ing gates'.
