Making someone jealous on purpose is nothing but a game. It's childish, immature, and bound to blow up in your face. Do you really find it necessary to TEST a relationship if you love and trust eachother? Give me a break. People who dig that stuff need to grow up and stay away from people who want a MATURE, LOVING relationship.
I like this post.. The man I'm in love with gets jealous sometimes (as do I) and when that happens it seems to arouse me a little... It's childish, I admit, but there's something about it that makes me want to fuck him extremely rough. He's the same way when it comes to me.. We don't do things for the purpose of making each other jealous, it just sometimes happens.. We won't give details about what we did that day, we'll respond with things such as "stuff".. It puts ideas in the other one's mind and the jealousy starts.. When I get jealous he gets excited by it as well.. Him and I are just an odd "couple" I guess. I mean, I love myself as a person and am in no way perfect.. I know there are women who could please him in ways I couldn't, as we all do things our own way.. As odd as that is, thinking about him with someone else makes me jealous but at the same time turns me on. Sometimes we've gotten jealous to the point we set rules for the other one.. I don't think there's anything wrong with that within a relationship anyway, when it's mutual, but if he were to tell me I couldn't do something because it made him jealous, I would want to have rough, angry sex with him.. It's not only about jealousy though, when we have small fights that's when I want to fuck him as well. Sadly, jealousy and fights can sometimes lead to really great sex.
i think it's the worst feeling in the world. you're helpless, you're not feeling valued, you're insecure and unloved. no way am i going to make someone feel that on purpose just to get some "sex charge." that's total crap. there's a whole other world of brilliant sex that feeds your soul when you're completely open to trust without fear, not putting out some performance to fool yourself and your partner. i know sometimes a little jealousy happens, and it can be flattering, but not for one moment am i gonna let the one person i love most in this world suffer for my ego.
when you feel jealous it means you don't fully trust your partner. There is no room in my life for that crap. I can't be with a partner I don't trust, nor would I want to be with anyone who didn't trust me. Playing head games is for the insecure and immature, and most definitely is a sign of some sort of major control/dominance/abuse issues going on.
But jealousy is a totally natural thing! There's a difference between using it to be malicious and using it to make a point, or using it to add a charge to a relationship. I agree that some people can take it to really horrible places, but if someone didn't get a little jealous, then I honestly think I'd lose interest really fast. The thing about people is they want it all, I think. They want to be in a stable, nurturing, caring relationship... and they also want to be playing the field, and they want other people to find them attractive. You can get weary of both of them, but you can never get over it... we all have a side that is basically like an animal, as well as a side which is civilized and recoils from that. I think it's totally unnatural to suppress your jealousy... but it's also important to know what to do with it! It's like any other negative emotion! You can channel it into something destructive like fear and paranoia, or you can turn it into something positive. But it's unhealthy to be afraid of it, or to assume that nobody should be jealous of anybody else, I think.
I'm not jealous of anything in my partners life. I don't get jealous...it's just not part of who I am. Does that make me wrong? No. I trust my partner and do not need to get jealous. I love him unconditionally, without limits and I do not need to feel threatened by anyone in his or my life. If he tried to make me jealous...well...it would seem pretty stupid. I mean, really? What's the point? We love eachother. I don't need to feel attractive to others because his opinion is the only one that matters...I don't care to feel desired by anyone else...because I am with him. *Shrugs* It's just my opinion and anyone in caring, mature relationship would probably feel the same.
Yes, jealousy is natural. So's a forest fire. That doesn't mean it's not destructive. It's important to recognize it as soon as it appears and deal with it so it doesn't cause lasting damage. Mamaboogie put her finger right on the crux... it's a trust issue. Damage the trust and it can take years to rebuild. I'd like to point out in the quote above that in every case, the jealousy is being used... not happening naturally. That's what makes jealousy so destructive... that it can be used intentionally as a means of emotional manipulation... a weapon to "keep them in line". I just can't buy that as being good regardless of the intent. Oh, and orgazmik, I do understand about "make up sex", but I've never found it the least bit provocative myself. If I need something to kick the sex into overdrive, I have plenty of imagination to work with, and if I can't find something to excite my partner as much as it excites me, I'm not trying very hard. Personally, I'll take imagination and creativity over drama every time.
Last time I checked, we use fire for lots of things too. I really don't buy your analogy. If you're a human being, you're going to have negative emotions-- no matter how idealistic you are, anyone who denies it is kidding themselves. I wouldn't trust anyone who said they didn't get jealous.
Everyone has negative emotions...but don't experience ALL forms of negative emotion. Jealousy is a wasted emotion. What is it good for? How is it at all productive? It's not, IMHO. I have negative emotions, but none of them are jealousy. I get angry, I get selfish, I get stressed, I get depressed...but I do not get jealous...especially in my relationship with someone I trust wholeheartedly.
i don't get jealous, i haven't been the sort in a very long time. in the past when i did get jealous, it was a lack of trust in my partner, a fear of loss. i was too possessive. my partner wasn't a partner, he was a possession. there are any number of women whom i like and respect who would be more than thrilled to have at my husband if i wasn't in the picture. i can't blame them. but there isn't a single one of them that would be able to take him from me. he's my best friend and vice versa. my trust is absolute. if it wasn't, i never would have married him. i come from a broken family full of philandering, cheating bastards. one thing i did learn from them is the more games you play with someone, the more addicted you get to those games and your relationship stagnates. it stalls. love isn't always that hot, passionate, wild period of your infatuation. it grows far beyond that. and once people grow beyond that, jealousy becomes a thing of the past.
