Jake and the CHATman

I would have been more mad if it was a guy, but... It.. was a girl...

You know how weird that is for a guy? You know you're home alone... and you're fast asleep, then you hear this female voice on the other side of the door saying "can I come in?" every guys dream right there...

Until reality kicks in and you're like wtf? how....? why!? Please get out of my house ma'am... you are not the sexy goddess I had first envisioned as i awoke

 

I dont understand why she walked into your house anyway

 

Too bad you didn't call 911 (or whatever they have up there) the moment you realized she was in your house...and told her, this strange, bitch neighbor, "oh yeah...I ALWAYS CALL THE COPS WHEN A PERSON RANDOMLY WALKS INTO MY HOUSE."


Even in the middle of the day, Mama goes around locking the doors...she doesn't even want me to open the windows at night. ha...what she doesn't know isn't going to hurt her.

 

We have 911 up here too lol

 

911 is a joke..

 

my parents house was never locked a singe time from 1967 to 1995.........

i never saw a key to that house ever.....

that doesnt mean i didnt have to climb in a window evey now and then....

if my dad was still awake and i was on acid i would cllimb through the

basement window into my teenaged basement bedroom complete

with massive speakers on each side o my bed and the tuner at my

headboard


my mom was cool...she couldnt tell if i was on acid


here they take 911 serious unless you live on a reservation....there they just let you die...the fuckers

 

I just got through talking to my cousin, who has lost 40 lbs in a year...she wasn't but maybe 15 pounds "overweight" to start with...at 5'2" she is now 105 lbs. She was already a vegan (which I just CANNOT & do not want to be) and this diet change she went through was just to get healthy, and not initiated necessarily to lose weight.

Anyway, she told me to cut out all wheat and bread; but, we decided just all bread will do for a start. Her "goal" (lol) is for me to eat as she does, which is totally healthy but GODALMIGHTY! I do want to lose some weight (NOT 40 pounds!), and I guess bread is a good place to start, even though I LOVE bready things, crackers, etc.

Where is that crying smilie?

 

bread is like eating straight sugar

 

dang!


What kind of substitute would you (or anyone) suggest?

...already eyeing the saltines....
^ but I do realize that is just crispy bread...double

 

every body is different. i could never do a diet that says "i cant eat _____" everything in moderation. as long as you dont go overboard, and you make the best choices you can, you should be able to get healthier AND lose a couple of pounds.

im going to make my most common suggestion- make bread. knead by hand (builds muscle) use a recipe with less sugar, more whole wheat flour. the key is that YOUR bread (even if its brown sugar cinnamon raisin swirl dripping in butter) will not be loaded with preservatives.

you can also make your own crackers. i have made homemade "cheez-its" and oh. my. good. gravy. they were delicious. i will look up the recipe for you if you want.

whatever you like, make it from scratch. am i right that you already avoid over-processed?


do baked cheese. asiago is my favorite.

 

I would LOVE getting your recipe. Cheez-its are one of the things I was already HATING to "have to" give up.

I never, ever eat at fast-food places. I also hate sounding like a dunce, but I'm not sure what you mean by over-processed.

We eat hamburgers on Friday night (old lady rules! :2thumbsup: ), which I could turn down, but I don't, and more importantly - I really don't want to! shhhh....we won't tell my cuz in Colorado.

Anyway, aside from the hamburgers, which I guess you would say are fried, I don't eat fried foods. The burgers are cooked in an old timey black skillet.

And about making bread...my mother uses a 25 yr old bread-maker...but she does make her own whole-wheat bread. I will admit to buying bread, but I don't even eat 1 sandwich a day! Anyway, I do agree with you - everything in moderation.

It still wouldn't kill me to cut out bread and crackers, and maybe the pounds would magically fall off (poof!). I'm also counting on them coming off in the exact right places. lol

 

I think i'm going to take a break from weed, starting tomorrow maybe... lol

I was smoking with this guy for his first time, I love smoking with people their first time... you get to see their hilarious reactions and freak em out... lol... one second he's like "i don't feel anything... i don't even know what im supposed to feel?" one minute later... he's in the corner puking who the fuck pukes over weed? I've never seen that... but after that he was tripping bawls, "whoa... WHOA... can.. can I, like... can I stand up? I feel like.. I can't.." 10 seconds later he's dancing on the couch we were sitting on hahah...

Anyways.. at one point, i asked him how he felt, he said "it just makes you feel dumb.." and that hit me hard for some reason, probably cause i was so high... but like, that's so true.. I never thought of it like that, i'm like "well, yeah, that's the point.." lol

Maybe I shouldn't always be high... Maybe I could do a lot more if I wasn't...

But it's so much more fun and easy being 'dumb'

 

Wow, thats crazy! Aren't you like 18 years old or something? I've never locked doors unless i felt like i had too like i was in danger or something. What a fucking joke. Are your parents really strict or something? They sound like a couple of loonies.

At the house we just moved from she was kinda crazy but not like that.. now we just live by the state police. haha.







On another note, i'm really pleased with today. Shelves got put up today and so all of my boyfriends paintball stuff and miscelaneous closet junk got to be put away. Now my rack needs to be put up and i can hang all of my clothes up! Tomorrow i get to finish the room which i will be VERY PLEASED to have done! Today was a very productive day now i get to sit and enjoy some nice coolldddd beer!

 

Yea, well 19, all the same lol

I live with my mom she's not really strict she's just paranoid about the doors being locked at all times haha cause of stuff thats happened here that i posted in here somewhere earlier today

 

Having smoked weed longer than you've been alive, Ortus, smoking it used to make me feel much more than dumb. Altho' dumb is one of the things it can do. When I've known the dumb would end, I can say I've quite liked feeling dumb.

But...here I'm going to be mother (or gma) hen...and say...you need to lay off for a while so you can get a job at the Lowe's/Home Depot equivalent up there in Canukland. You will have to pass a test to work at a place like that, and it will be well worth it.

I haven't smoked weed for over a year...but I've eaten (made edibles) as much as I could.

Taking a break will really intensify how it makes you feel...when you smoke - or eat it - after a break.

 

Ahh, right after posting that I smoked and realized... It actually makes you feel like a genius...

You don't feel dumb until you start to come down and start to feel burnt out

Instead of stopping one could simply remain at a constant peak? Food for thought, food for thought... lol

Except for needing to quit for a job...

 

Oh ok i have never been paranoid because I guess we have been lucky enough to not have problems or anything. We have always pretty much kept doors unlocked. One time my boyfriend had a chainsaw stolen but we always keep the garage door cracked because we have 2 outside cats that are outside/garage door cats and especially during the winter they go in there.

We can't keep them inside because one has a eating disorder he eats plastic, fruit anything and everything especially baby bottle nipples when he doesn't go outside and the other is too dominant. Him and this female cat we have they both want to be the leader and neither of them will give up.

 

i want to kiss a girl in the night, i wanna kiss her now... damn.. i miss that girl on the 1st of june,, damn do i miss her,,

so me and two guys trying to grab some money and make a run to the city... two of us going for a girl each, the other riding along doing the same..

i need a girl, and now... damn... these late night nights are fuck,... akshdkajnsdkhabsd

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common now... jashkdajksdkhjasd

 

from The Fannie Farmer Cookbook-1976

cheese straws - preheat oven to 400°F

1/4 lb butter (1 stick)
2 cups flour
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper (i use paprika, its milder)
1 lb sharp cheddar (or other) cheese, grated
salt to taste

Cream the butter until light; add the flour, cayenne, cheese and salt. Roll out on a floured board or pastry cloth. cut into strips 5 inches long by 1/2 inch wide. (or squares. or triangles. they are your crackers!)
place on a greased cookie sheet and bake about 6 minutes


Now you can adjust this in a ton of ways. worcestershire makes a good flavoring, or you could do parmesan and herbs. theres a ton of recipes online for, well damn, just about anything. "copycat" recipes are some of my favorites.

when i say 'over-processed' i basically mean 'so loaded with preservatives that you cant make it in your kitchen" i feel like if i CAN do the processing, i ought to. i make my own scalloped or augratin potatoes. i had to buy a mandolin, but i dont buy the box stuff anymore. when i have a dehydrator i will make my own sliced and dehydrated potatoes, it will be just like the box stuff. no msg, no chemical preservatives. i can make cereal, its just really thin cookies or sweet crackers. you can even make your own cereal flakes.

whatever you eat regularly that isnt a one word food (potato. carrot. cabbage. it says what it is) see if you can make it yourself. there are some things that arent practical, and there are some processed foods that are good to have on hand for once-in-awhile, but most things regular people can do.

 

Thanks for that, ML! I'm going to copy that right now into my personal files.

And yes, you're right about the over-processed food...except for cereal. Everything I eat, I make from scratch, even soup. But, I do eat cereal...dry cereal. BUT...I'm going to cut that out! I promised my cuz.

At least I'll try cutting it out for a bit. For some reason, that moderation thing hasn't really been working for me here lately...maybe because I haven't been as physically active as I used to be, which is another thing I need to work on!