It's really hard for me to write this

It started when I was nine or ten, I'm fifteen now. It was my step-father, I was sleeping in the same bed as him and my mother and he started rubbing me up, I was a very sexualy curious child so I knew what was happening. The next morning he apologised and he seemed really torn up about it, I had terrible butterflies in my stomach so I just said it was fine and left the conversation as soon as possible. But it kept happening and getting more and more serious. He'd rub himself up against me and there was also oral sex both giving and recieving. To this day I've still managed to hold on to my virginity, which I'm eternally greatful for. Then my sister who was in grade eight reported him and there was a big investigation, but ultimately the charges were dropped because there was no evidence. He stayed away whenever she was around so that there wasn't a scene but he kept coming over whenever she was at my Dad's house or just out with friends. A few years later my sister told my mother that it happened to her as well, I know the full extent of what happened to both of them because he told me. After that my mother wouldn't sleep with him out of shame and guilt, but she kept letting him come over because he's the father of my two youngest siblings. This was particularly hard on me, as I was his only form of stress relief, he got really depressed and has attempted to commit suicide. The worst part is we talk and I pretend I'm happy and that I like and even love him, he's convinced we're in some kind of romantic relationship. I console him and tell him he's not a bad person and that he needs to stay alive for his children. At this point I've managed to stop all sexual relations except groping, he buys me things and drives me places, it seems like a perfect situation but I'd trade it all in to escape this horrible feeling. It's never truly out of my mind. I have two major fears; the first is that people will find out and they'll treat me different, I could never face them again, and the second is that by denying him I'll just unleash his sexual urges on one of my younger sisters. That was how I used to justify to myself not saying no, because that's what my older sisters did and that's how I got where I am.

 

He is a child molester and needs to be in jail. You and your sister need to report this to the police and speak out again. He has done and is doing real damage to you and your sister.

You should also seek a therapist to help you .

 

to touch a child in any lewd (intending to self-gratify or gratify the child) is a serious crime especially when committed by a party ten years older and over the course of 3 to 4 years. In this case, having your sister testimony may be the breaking point. Two witness and the collaboratory story of your mother will be a sure fire case. The sentence will exceed the childhood of your two younger sisters so you will not have to worry about his return from prison while you and your siblings are minors.

But that is just my knowledge of the law, I know the law to empower people. That when it is used well, the law can protect the innocent, give power to children and battered wives. But in this case you will be your own attorney, you will have to bear witness to the truth in a court of law.

When I was younger I used the law to defend myself and my brother.
You are a very brave person, I pray for your strength, ask me questions I am not sure where to start.

 

It's not your responsibility to keep him alive, he's using guilt to keep you close by, if your younger siblings are in danger you need to do what it takes to protect them, all the best x

 

15 now, some of your girlfriends might have crushes on teachers or movie stars his age so you might not think its that big of a deal.

But its more about what he's going to turn into, what happens in 10, 20 years when he gets more desperate, starts drugging kids for example so they dont talk, or worse

But give it a few years and you'll see it for what it is, once you dont have a childs body anymore and he loses interest, probably the main reason he hooked up with your mum was more about you, and in a few years he may be onto the next mum with young daughters. You'll feel differently, Hell hath no fury...as the saying goes.

What your sister did will be enough to get the ball rolling, doesnt have to be on his record, just on record somewhere, then later on prosecutors can go back and establish a pattern, once a few more girls come out.


To everyone else: I see after just one post she has been neg repped and 2 unlikes so far, I have to question the logic in that, especially with someone that stated they are 15, its exactly that kind of thing that makes them think they should keep quiet.

 

wow,, major bummer, he should be horse whipped,, my grand daughter was subjected to the same only from my daughters boyfriend,, as soon as she found out she kicked him out and reported him.. a few of her friends found him in a bar and put him in the hospital , I have never advocated violence, but when someone hurts a child ,MAN,, innocence in a child is a precious thing and when someone steals that it hurts a child in ways that may never completely heal, my grand daughter is 16 and has no interest in boys at all, or women either and probably never will

 

Mans inhumanity to man,, or woman ,,,,,WOW

 

I am so sorry for you, please know that he is sick and needs help. You need to stay away from him. Do not talk to him or hang out with him. You are too young to be dealing with this. Please find a trusted adult and talk to them about this.

 

Does he have an illness? No? Then believe me...regardless of how people put it...he is not sick!
What he is, is a pervert! And an evil one to boot!
A person that sexualy abuses a child, and thats what he is doing, both mentaly, and physicaly, is not worthy of your care.
If you cant go to the police, and thats understandable...you have to have the courage to tell him to dump your mother, and stay far away from you and his children, for ever!
Remind him of what you can do, and that you will if he doesnt stay away.
He will never kill himself, he is continuing to abuse you, dont listen to him. Tell him to go ahead if he so wishes, but your not going to stop him.
Show him how strong you are. You can and will survive.
Once you have been strong once, its easier to continue to be strong.
But you have to stay away from this man, and keep him away.
If he doesnt. Then you have no choice, go to a teacher, or an aunt etc...but you will survive.xxx

 

How sad u all need to report him again and not let him around these other children like seriously wtf is wrong with ur mother this man should not be allowed near these kids y'all need to move away and report him write letters to ur congress men and council men and senator as well as go to the police find the number of a detective and call them directly