it's february 2nd?

Im not going to consider myself an adult until im married with a child... I dont plan on getting married, and im going to avoid having a child.

 

So you'll never consider yourself an adult ?
You're an adult when you start to make your own decisions.

 

don't tell my 5yr old that.. she thinks she's a grown up already.

 

Lol.

 

January went to stay with December for awhile

 

I believe it. Sheesh, January, practically never existed. I don't know what happened to it.

 

january sucked. i hate that the new year is making me older, and i hate that getting older is making me lose faith in humans in general.

 

Well January was very bittersweet for me. I had to leave a place I've lived all my life, and start over somewhere new, I left a job I loved, everything is just up in the air for now. I like an order of semblance, which I no longer have here. I gave up the definites for what could be, taking a risk and hoping I am doing the right thing.

That's probably why January went by so fast, because I have been so busy lately.

I wish February would go by as fast, but it truly is best to just enjoy every day and let life be.

 

Getting older doesn't do that- other people do. You just need to realize the fine art of selectivity in choosing people to invest faith in. You'll get better... trust me.

 

^ Mr John is right, I agree. Change your crowd, and you'll change your whole thought process. It works, try it. You'll be glad you did.

 

I do. I limit the people I truely believe in, very very very much.Prety much just family and two friends. But then i seem to be left hanging by them too.

It's like the more my eyes open to people around me, the more dissapointed i get.

it's really bothering me lately. I've got so much pent up anger because of it.

 

You could always lower your standards.

 

Hahaha, that's what I do

 

Well- I guess you need to invest less in expectations of others. My social circle has whittled down to a handful of people and they have their lives to concentrate on. I found that when I was in m y early 20's, my contemporaries had less baggage weighing them down day to day and could afford to spend lots of time and energy in friendships but as we all got older they became increasingly immersed in work, relationships, and other facets of existence that could loosely be characterized as "not me". Meanwhile I became busy constructing a short series of train wrecks that to the untrained eye might me mistaken for relationships. When I wised up to the fact that I was gravitating toward the wrong women and happiness in my case was most likely a solo venture, most of the people I hung out with had melted into the woodwork. It was at that time I came to appreciate the fiercely independent art of entertaining myself. I place no faith or expectations in anyone now- besides myself and this has cut down somewhat on the number of times I get disappointed.

Some day that neat little life plan can change but it would take one hell of a woman...

 

yeah but i dont believe in much. barely anything, really. My family, hands down, means THE most to me.
i cant help but to see them and believe in them so greatly. I know its not fair to have expectations on them. I know they're not perfect.

i dont know. It goes way more personal then i'm willing to discuss on a public forum.

january just sucked. And im a mean person, lol.

 

It's okay... there's tons behind my skepticism in humans- even the ones with whom I share ancestry... and I'm not divulging any details in public either...

Sometimes a joint does a world of good.

 

this thread made me think, i need to drop my friends and find new ones.. the ones I have arn't going anywhere with their lives.. and all they are doing is slowing me down.. shit fuck.. fuck fuck, dammit, boobies

 

I don't know, but I'm sure glad January is gone. I'm looking forward to spring.

 

I killed her. Couldn't stand her mere presence after a while.

 

Seems like it was New Year's a few days ago.

.