It's been how long?!!!!!

This really makes me sad.

FallenFairy, and YellowBellyHippy, I've been reading your posts for a long time now, and I am quite fond of both of you, even though you are very different. I'm sorry to hear about your relationship problems.

I cannot understand being in relationship with someone and not wanting to give them the pleasure they desired. You are not asking for anything extreme here. When I'm with my GF, I really do not feel like our time together is complete unless I have made her (ahem) very happy.

YBH, your relationship seems basically sound to me, but I wish you could somehow restore your intimacy. It's a joy, and part of the glue that helps hold things together.

FF, things seem much more serious in your case. If you value your relationship, I wish you would seek help soon. There are bound to be many sorces of help and counceling that you could get locally. Think about how much you value your relationship. Isn't it worth some extra work to make it healthy again?

Hugs and best wishes to both of you.

 

Keramptha- i dont nag at him i dont constantly ask him to go down on me i only bring it up when we have had serious conversations aboutour sex life and i tell jim you know this is what i want/ crave for you to do. we have talked and talked and talked about our relationship in and out of bed for the past8months and nothing has improved. Our relationship has gotten worse. to put you in perspective of how bad our relationship is his mother (who lives with us) and I have a better relationship that he and i do. she and i go out to lunch she helps me with my son she knows Aiden's cries better than he does. My fiancee is gone all the time and when he is home he is on the computer and we are to leave him alone so that he can work. so in reality he is never able to spen time with me or his son.

chiana20- I have so much linguire and little outfits that i wear but my fiancee doesn't even notice. I asked him why he doesn't notice and he says that he doesn't care for stuff like that. so i asked him what turn him on and he said (quoting him) " If a girl has a pretty face that is a real turn on for me. you have a pretty face." I was like what the fuck. so i pretty much gave up wearing any lingiurie.

hippypaul- I have had numerous conversations with my fiancee and no matter what nothing improves. I keep giving and giving and i get nothing in return.

yellowbellyhippy- i am a nymphomaniac so sex to me is like needing air to breathe. and i have hit a dry spell for about 8 months of barely any sex to absolutely none.

 

Aww thankyou! Never knew I had fans *giggle* Yes, our relationship is very sound.... The biggest problem is that we have little kids and never really have more then 5 min alone.... Once they become a bit more independent then Im sure our sex life will resume its just frustrating in the meantime.

 

See, this is exactly why I'm staying single. I was married for 8 years, and I know exactly what you mean. Do all relationships lose their "magic" after so long? I get so discouraged when I hear stories like this. You should not have to "play head games" with your fiance'. When you've met the person you want to be with for the rest of your life, then the head games should be over. Maybe I have a fairy tale view of how I want my forever to be, but so be it. You just don't know until you're with someone for a long time how things are going to be. The sex is always smoking in the beginning of a relationship. People change though, sadly enough. I wish you the best of luck..and don't you settle for anything sweetie, life's too short.

 

i think that occasional adultery is better than nagging for a patnership.

 

/ relationship

 

I disagree....Sometimes things get tough and if you are married you stick it through when things are tough.I know that my sex life will get better with my husband when we have more alone time. We are very consumed with our kids right now because they arelittle and require so much attention. But I wouldn't cheat on my husband....I love him too much.

 

Sex is the embodyment of love between a man and woman, and it should receive the credit that it is due.

Any man who is disgusted by going down on a woman doesnt deserve the blessing of being with her. To make a woman have moments of pure pleasure is what defines my love for Her. Its the utmost physical expression of the spiritual love.

Sex is very important in a relationship, its a defining point.
If it werent so important, then these women wouldnt be complaining.

And if a man cant do his part, then he should let go of his jealousy, possesiveness
and insecurity, and let his partner have her freedom to find what it is that he so apparently lacks.

My wife has the freedom, but never has the need, but if for some reason, like my dick falling off, I cant give her the pleasures that I do, then she will find someone who can, and i would be perfectly fine with that, because her pleasure defines me, and that would be another way of me giving it her.

just so you know, i have the same freedoms, just so you dont think im whipped lol.

 

im not married i am engaged and my fiancee and i have no alone time cuz he is never home no because we have a baby to take care of. when he is home he either on the computer working/ masturbating or he is sleeping.

 

No they dont sugarmaggie. My wife have been together near 8 years, have two children, one on the way, and cant keep off of each other. We are like two highschool kids, except we know what we are doing lol.

The secret is to all out worship what you it is that you love so much, my wife is as sacred to me as the Mother Earth herself. We come to each other not as man and wife, but as the divine aspects of our sexes.

I consider us fortuante that we have what we have, but it wasnt given to us, we have fought for it and earned it, and all it takes is love and dedication.

 

I haven't had sex in a year almost, then again I have no wife, fiance, girlfriend, or fuck buddy either. So that might be an issue.

 

FallenFairy, why do you complain and complain and not do anything about it? why don't you just leave him and find somebody who can fulfill your nymphomaniac ways?

 

if dude man aint neva goin down south ..... get rid of him n find someone who will ....nuff said !

 

aaaaaaaawwwwww. that sucks. im pretty much in the same boat..... no man

 

you talk about his lack of sexual reciprocation as if it just started recently..........she sait it's been 4 years, not 4 months!!!!!! she also said he finds the idea of going down town repulsing to him........ that too does not sound like a "phase". it just sounds like something he doesn't like to do, which some guys don't i guess and his outlook will probably never change. but he sure doesn't mind getting his, now does he??? sounds a little hypocritical if you ask me.... and it doesn't sound to me like he has "lost" his labido, sounds like it's just fine when the XXX movies start up. people who have truely lost their labido don't usually sit around watching porn.

either way, its definately something you need to work out, maybe you guys are just not compatable and on the same wave-length regarding sex. i guess if thats just not something he is into or is having stress in other areas in his life that is affecting your relationship, you will just have to decide what is best for you...... especially if his porn horny ways is hurting you emotionally. nobody's sex life should take a back seat to "debbie does dallas".

 

if your going to give up sex don't just give up the physical act..you have to get rid of the desires and thoughts of sex or else there will always be the lust burning in you and denying it is just trying to sail solo into hurricane winds....
ghandi gave up sex and said it was one of the best decisions he ever made...yeah you lose the pleasure of an orgasm and the fun of fucking but you free yourself of all those horrible feelings that your putting yourself thru...

if giving it up isn't an option then give up the guy...he obviously is selfish and has very little respect for you...it sounds to me as though the only thing keeping him around is his child and if thats the case your doing a lot of damage to all three of you

 

i hear ya man... actually its been over a year for me

 

redryder-i dont just complain i try to do something about it but even if i try, my fiancee doesnt take any notice. also it is hard to leave the man that is the father of your child and i dont want to take away the first years of our sons life away from him.

searching4nirvana- i dont think i was very clear. it has bee 4 year since i have had my pussy licked and had a mind exploding orgasm. I have only been with my fiancee for 2 1/2 years and in those two in half years he went down on me once for like 2 seconds and i dont really count that would you??? i have spoken to him about how upset i am of always giving and never receiving foreplay. his idea of foreplay is he kisses me once instantly he gets hard and he puts it in for a minute or two then he is done. now he just watches porn and it's been taking a toll on me emotionally.at the beginning of our relationship he used the excuse that he watched porn so that he wouldn't be horny and when he went to work at the nightclubs he wouldn't go fuck other girls.then when i got pregnant he refused to have sex with me out of fear so he masturbated more and more during the day and he tried to hide it by masturbating when i was in the shower or when he thought iwas asleep. one time i woke up ( the computer was in our room then) and i went to the bathroom and locked the door and just cried myself back to sleep i felt so hideous and useless.

tiki_god7- you are sooo right the only reason i have been staying with him is we have a child together. Also he was the only person who helped me to get off the drugs, get sober and stay sober when i moved down to florida. my fiancee I dont think he is selfish or disrespectful i just think he's too damn busy with work to live a life and spend time with his family.

 

but you've already said he's taking himSELF away from your son's life. too busy to be part of the family. sounds like he helped you out a lot in the past, but you don't owe somebody your life and happiness for that... eternal gratitude can be achieved even if you're not with him as a "lover" (can you even call yourselves that?), but if you're still miserable being "with" him then why do you still stick around? what DOES he provide you?

have you thought about just being friends? does he still provide you with enough emotional support to be called a friend? child support is something he'll be required to provide for your son, so that can help out with expenses for your son (if that's what you're worried about if you leave him). you can get orders for money to be taken directly out of his paychecks so you don't have to worry about him paying it late, or not at all.

is he happy? how does he feel about the relationship? why would feel the need to masturbate so he doesn't go fuck other girls... when he has you there Wanting to have sex? do you guys still love each other? have you thought of counseling? obviously SOMEthing has to be done if you want to be happy, and aren't willing to leave him.

 

he doesn't really provide me with any thing except for a roof over my head and new clethes every now and then. I have fallen so out of love with him i dont even think i could be friends with him right after i seperate with him (if i did). im not worried about child support or anything like that. What i am worried about though is if i leave him i would go back to wisconsin and he would be in florida i wouldnt know how the visitations would work. I know if i go and try to get full custody he would fight for half or full custody for himself. I dont know if he is happy but i do know he is overworked and that makes him stressed out as hell and hes been like this since we started dating. I have relized that he is never going to change and that he will always being working and i dont know if i can deal with that.

"why would feel the need to masturbate so he doesn't go fuck other girls..." when he and i first met he was a hornball he wanted sex 24/7 and that was great for me but then at night when he had to go to work at the nightclubs and seeing all these hot chicks and knowing that most of them would fuck him in a heart beat was kind of tantalizing. I love him but im not in love with him. I am willing to leave him i am just afraid of being alone.