For some reason, this forum popped into my mind and of course, I thought of you. I popped in a couple days ago but couldn't find this section as everything has changed quite a bit. Glad I was able to find you doing well and still writing. I read that you have published some books - I am certainly interested in reading some of them. Could you list the books you have written? I am now back in University after graduating from college. My kids are teenagers now - one is in high school and one is in her final year of elementary school. They both are emerging into their own persons. The transition for both of them are so different as they are two entirely different people. I feel we are all at a crossroads. Things aren't going the way we all want it to so I was wondering if you had any advice on how to figure out where to go. We have several options - it's just a matter of picking the right one for us. My daughter is struggling with who she is and it's taking a toll on her mental well being. My son is doing very well but I still worry about him. My relationship has deteriorated and the both of us know it but letting go is a hard thing to do. It has gotten to a point where it is very unhealthy for all of us so I need a swift "kick in the butt" to take action. The thing that is holding me back is the lack of funding as I am in between jobs so I think that's why I feel stuck right now. I just need to know that things will improve, I guess. Thanks!
Was that an open letter to somebody specific or are you just opening your mind and letting your thoughts fly free at random?
Hi Oneandonlyskybutterflygal Glad you found your way. Yes I have wrriten and published 4 books, the 5 one will be out soon I hope. You can find them on Amazon, Ingraham house and a couple of other sites. 1, was From The Heart. 2. Lest we Forget, 3. Beneath His Roots, and 4 Consuming Fire A Shapeshifters Journey. 5 is a personal journey about Healing and Being Well and is titled Tapestry - The Child Within. I also do Reiki and Marconic Healing, make hand sewn healing quilts and continue to do psychic readings and parties. In my spare time I try to catch up on my To Do List. I must say the to do list grows faster than the tis done list lol. But enough about me. Lets jump in with your concerns. I am just going to rallt on so if I leave you with more question please just ask. A cross roads is a good thing. This helps us to take a step back and see what our choices and helping to create in the bigger picture of our lives. When the cross roads come at the same time as a cycle change in our spirits we often feel more lost and out of synic with our purpose. Here remember reality and perception are not fixed and only windows we look out of. We are Spirits having a human experience and we are here to grow. So if you are growing and experiencing the life around you you are doing what you came through to do. This reminds me of the time I was painting a wall in my daughters bedrooom. Every year she got to choose a design and I painted it for her. The year before had been my little ponies and the year before that was cartoon faces and so on and on. This year she stood in front of her wall for a week with tears falling. She said, MOM I can't feel my picture. I thought and draged in a large piece of plastic. Gave her some old clothers and told her to lay in the drops of spattered pain I had put on the sheet of plastic. She laughed and laid down. I went out to the garden and soon here her laughing. I went in and she had stood up and leaned against her wall. Mixed drops of pain were spattered on the rug but on her wal was a rainbow painting of her form. She thought this was so funny. The afternoon ended and she got cleaned up for supper. At supper over hot apple pie with ice cream I asked what she wanted on her wall. She smiled and said, "MOM, paint how you see me." I dropped the ice cream on my spoon as my hands trembled the ice cream landed in my lap. She looked at me and said, MOM I believe in you. That night she went to a friends. I sat in front of her wall and let the tears fall. How could I paint the beauty I saw in her and how could I honor her belief in me when at the very moment I forgot everything I knew about painting. This was personal. I spent 3 days and two nights painting on her wall there in the middle of a pokadotted forest with silly rainbow colored birds stood the painted form of my daughter just as she had stood was it only 3 days ago. I had evened up some of the edges and painted daisy's all around her. I moved the plastic sheet and painted steps on the carpet. The painting was magical and 3D. On her birthday she got her first look at the complted design as she stood by the giant sun with a face on it. She studied the painting and I was afraid I had failed. She turned to me and said, MOM you forgot the moon and stars not all things a sun shine you know." I got my paints and she also had her stars and moon with a face and sleeping cap. The dancing trees in her painting seemed to come alive. Many a times when she felt lost or needed to be at home within her she would sit with her painting. Wow what would she ask me to paint next year? You see we will face the dark and light of our own souls and images we live with. We will learn in our vulnerability to face our self and how others see us. The key is knowing we are here to be love in the chaos around us. Sometimes Being Love means letting go. Sometimes we just need the truth of how and who we are in the worlds we are in. When you find your center those around you will also search for theirs. This is not always a clear journy but a needed one. Start by making healthy choices for the greater good and Know this is Personal. Life is not what is done to us but what we make of the lessons and experiences we share in. Hope is what we create from within us and in our thoughts. Being Well is about knowing without dis-ease we would not understand what wellness is. Find something to do that helps you create and speak your truth. What is holding you back is not the funding but the fear within you that you will fail. Fear is not knowing who you are. Your son and daughter will live off what you feed them in your thoughts and fears. They will also live off the joy you create from within you and the love you have for them. Feed within what you want to grow. This is not a perfect world and if it was we would not understand what it means to create. If you are happy and whole in the choices you make then they will learn how to face their struggles with greater strength in who they are. When its time to let go of a relationship both Honor the love and let go. Holding on is a bit like not flushing a used toilet or empting the fridge of moldy green stuff growing within. The only promise you have is Change. All things will change. Our worlds are made up of different colors that come together in our unique design. Do what ye will and harm thee none including yourself. I Believe in you and know when you come out the other end of this you will look back and be thankful for all the colors. In the words of my daughter she once said to me, MOM I prefer the lessons you lived and know you Lived Well and did not just preach to me. I find when I am lost to serve the world within is to serve the one around me and know from experience Graditude is the first step. We may not have all the answers or know the journies end but we have now to begin again. What you imagine and think is what you create in your aura and energy vibration. This movement begins to reflect our truth and feeds what we imagine and think on. I remember one year my daughter sat for hours under the christmas tree. I asked her what she was doing and she replied, MOM I am creating what I want in this space so santa won't just leave any old thing he has left." Sure enough she got her bike and knew she helped the magic of that moment by creating the space she wanted filled. Life is a bit like this. You are the spirit searching for the proverbial tree and magic and afraid at the same time that the universe has heard you. So make a graditude list, and begin within to give birth to the letting go of the design you treasure most in the heart and soul of the love you search for. An Embrace was never about holding on but giving back the beauty of the connections you find along your way. The steps are simple. 1. Imagine. 2. Embrace. 3. Let go. Love is who you are, not what you imprison with your fears and doubts. Was good to hear from you.
