It is so hard to not feel jealous

I love to spend time with this guy but he has to alternate his time between me and some one else.... it is really hard not to get jealous ;( How do you handle jealousy.....
thanks for your responses.......

 

Well, I am a guy but I just never had these feelings. Oh sure, there where gals other guys were getting it on with that I desired. But I was happy for both of them. They were enjoying life even if I was at times not. And even as a young man I knew life was short and full of misery. Also these guys were my friends and I was truly happy knowing they were having fun. I had some few gals I had some fun with. Then I joined the Marine Corps and learned what misery really is. My sex life was prostitutes and I did have fun with them. No complications with that. Pay for what you want and that was that. No phony pretense of affection.
It may be a genetic thing. I am Swedish and Swedes believe in free love. Life is short and youth is much shorter. Find what pleasure you can. Sometimes paying money for it can be a really good time with no complications. ...Oscar

 

thanks for sharing Oscar

 

But I am a guy and it is in some ways different for women. There may be some guy out there worthy of your love. This guy you discussed is NOT him. I honestly do NOT know of many happy marriages, only a few. Some woman who knows the ways of this world would be a better source of advice than me. But I do know women who find men they can have fun with without suffering heartbreak. And for sure use rubbers or in some other way avoid getting pregnant. I always use two rubbers or condums. There is also oral and anal sex. But still use rubbers, especially with anal sex if you try that. Be careful and with some common sense a person can have fun and not be harmed. It IS harder for women. ...Oscar

POST SCRIPT: The upside for women is it is much easier to find willing partners. But as a woman you have to do what you can to ensure your safety and well being.

 

so who is he alternating time with? if it's his son, for example, you're being pretty unreasonable. if it's his wife who doesn't know you exist, you're both being pretty unreasonable.

 

blow jobs should not be expected..

 

This:

Given your thread history peaches, you sound poly wired. How do you handle jealousy? Doesnt matter you will get bored of the one once you get him all to yourself anyway

 

hateful!

 

Assuming you are "the other woman"...how is that hateful? Let me reword her post in a more kind way...

Stop fucking married dudes or find married dudes whose wives are down with it.

edit to add....

 

I'm 2nd to nobody. I'm a one and only kind of girl. I don't share. The way I look at it is...if he would rather spend some time with someone else then he can spend ALL his time with someone else because I'm not a part time girl. Therefore, there is no jealousy.

If you're fucking a married guy then I guess that's something you have to deal with. Playing second fiddle to a wife....you will almost always lose. Good luck.

 

"I'm 2nd to nobody. I'm a one and only kind of girl. I don't share. The way I look at it is...if he would rather spend some time with someone else then he can spend ALL his time with someone else because I'm not a part time girl. Therefore, there is no jealousy"

Ditto to that, Ruby....

 

I am not second to anyone one either.

 

Personally....I do not understand Jealousy.

Really....I don't get it at all.

TooReal

 

Good Morning Peaches,
Jealousy is when you want something or someone all for yourself; it's when you don't want to share. That's monogamy and it works for most people. That's how we are raised in this soceity. I don't think Drumminmama meant to be hateful. I think she is just calling it the way she sees it.

Some people have a sexual need for other people. It sounds like you don't. This guy you enjoy sharing life with is someone who enjoys having a variety of lovers. He may be just screwing both of you. He may be in love with both of you. Have you asked him what his feelings are on the subject? Have you asked him how he would like to live? ...what is his dream? Have you done things as a threesome?...sex, movies, hangout together? Maybe you and she should compare notes.

I think you need to identify what you want. How do you want to live and with what type of man. Then go find a guy who is into you the way you want him to be and work at having the best relationship you can.

You might want to read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura.

How do you deal with jealousy? (1) Be involved with someone you don't care about. (2) Enjoy being in a relationship with others. (3) OR get in a relationship with someone who doesn't leave you feeling jealous. (Always easier said than done.)

Good Luck!
...with a big hug. (it sound like you need one.)
Respectfully, VS

 

Being jealous is being insecure! I guess it would be easy to be insecure if you were just a second thought to someone who is married.

 

WOW, you rock! I really appreciate your response. You seem like a very kind and well meaning person. Thanks for taking the time to share with me !!!!!

 

Would you like to chat with me sometime, Peaches?

 

I think it's fine to feel jealousy, but when you act on it... that's when it gets tricky. As long as you own your feelings then I don't see the problem. Of course, the feeling of jealousy is not a good feeling, so what I do whenever I feel something that I don't want to feel, I use one of my vices or I use another distraction. But, most of the time I can deal with it because it's just an emotion. Jealousy is not this big, bad thing. If it truly becomes a problem where you know you will act on it and no amount of distraction can make the feeling go away, then I would terminate the contact with the source that is causes the jealousy. Find someone or something that doesn't make you jealous because even though it's just an emotion, it's a negative emotion that you don't have to feel. That you deserve not to feel because you deserve better.

 

I agree, find your own man who will truly love you and not someone who choose you as an option.