So this coworker I thought was totally throwing me signs I feel has totally rejected me today. I guess I was wanting other people's thoughts and confirmation. When I say signs, she initiates our convos, touches my hand and arms when we talk, in fact she tries touching me when it's not called for, if we are stood still she presses her body against mine, I'd catch her looking at me, she asks me out to lunch loads, wants me to go on her cigarette breaks. She has in the past brought up that she didn't know if she was straight or gay and that it was about the person. I should mention we are both women and she knows I am a lesbian. So today she was like lets go lunch Friday and I was like cool and then said my flat Mate is away next week come over one day. She thought about it and I was like it's ok if you don't want to. She said she couldn't cos she was at work, I said "no I mean after work". She said no she couldn't then changed it to maybe and then said all of us could go. I was thinking ah ok she is not interested and said yeah I was going to invite (and I said the other girls name but I won't put it on here) but I was going to ask her when she was back in the office next week. I'm hoping I saved face there. So yeah I feel like this is her definitely saying she is not interested? She doesn't behave like this around the others so I am guessing she feels comfortable with me as a friend? She does have 2 kids but I'm guessing if she really wanted to come then she could of got a baby sitter...
Some people are all flirty then renig and back out when it all of a sudden becomes too real for them. She could just be a tease and the flirty kind and she's just into friendship. I'd just go about your business, don't treat her any differently. You tried something, may have back fired but don't lose confidence with that, props for actually getting it all out in the open. And maybe something is really up, we don't know.
I would propably take her reaction as a sign of intrest, but also that she is insecure from what you described about what she had said and how she behaves knowing that you are lesbian.
Thanks for the replies. Maybe you are right and it did get too real. Maybe as I like women she saw me as someone to flirt with and now it's freaked her a bit that she maybe alone with me.
Yeah I would almost bet, it's because she is scared cause of a little voice in her head saying "what if I like it, would that make me a lesbian" plus she might also feel insecure or be scared of rejection if she were to venture in to this for her new world
This seems to make sense with what you are saying. So i probably shouldn't mention meeting after work again and let her decide when she is ready and let her be the one to say? It hurts right now though as I know she goes over to other coworkers places, like I know this weekend she is popping over to see this other girl
Yeah, or ease in (if that makes sense) like going for drinks after work, maybe with coworks and see if you can get some "private" time with her. Sounds like she is really wants it but has some inner conflicts, wich is normal if she has been "straight" her whole life, maybe been brought up in a certain way. I would say it's total attraction and not total rejection.
Hey lion thank you so much for all the advice you are so right- she is in her late 40's and has always had straight relationships. She was also brought up as a catholic. She has said before that gays are not welcomed in the country she is from. I think I'll carry on like nothing happened and see where it goes. She has been asking me out for lunch more and more recently so maybe she will get to a more comfortable point soon
No problem though I just realised I'm not supposed to post here since I'm a dude. what you just said makes a lot of sense. She'll come around at some time I'm sure, and if it's too slow just ask me I allways can come up with something
cool, hope noone else minds either and if they do they cant just tell me to get the fuck out and I'll respect it. I could probably ask a ton of questions about the situation, but maybe I should save them for now
Do you know what cuntry she's from? and if she has been or even is married? is it strange to not leave the chat when I'm the only one there? (I know, that was kindda off topic)
Maybe she's curious and she got scared when she thought something might actually happen. I tried to hook up with a girl when I was 16 or 17, but when she wanted to actually mess around, I freaked out and stopped talking to her. I'm 23 now and I just last year started dating a woman for the first time. You're ready when you're ready. Or maybe she's just a flirt, like the other people here suggested.
a lot of girls can be really "touchy" as in they touch a lot. maybe say something like......... hey you're really cool, we should hang out! and see what she says. the more you think about it the more you'll start to see all these signs. Go with the flow and see what happens.
