Is This Abuse?

Thank you.

I was about to explain it to him in a less diplomatic fashion

 

Don't mention it

 

If you hold no resentment, know that you deserved it and have never forgotten it, then it was highly effective. It made you humble and into a better man. Kids have no business talking back, sassing off at the mouth to their parents or any grown up for that matter.

 

No, not at all. So many kids are disrespectful and unruly towards parents and other adults that it's sickening to watch. I see this a lot and it seems to be getting worse. Parents need to address this behavior as they see fit.

 

Hitting a child, is done out of your own frustration.. don't make it right.
But, I can only speak for myself here..
When I was at school, I made sure I didn't do wrong, I didn't want to be caned, I tried to be good at home, but my mum abused us as she was mentally ill..
Since hitting a child be it in school punishment, or at home..has become wrong! children have become unruly! Crime has increased, there are no deterants anymore.. the first generation of the non hit children, are now having children.. respect has now gone, there is little respect for each other now, compared to when there was a deterants..
If you feel your spanking damaged you in someway, you need to sort your head out.. do you remember because you hurt? Felt you were abused, or nude?
Parents don't generally take notice to their child of ten nude.. were you nude a lot? Was it normal for you?
All you can do, is if you felt wronged, don't do it to someone else, break the chain, and forgive her.. she was only doing what they did back then.. let it go!

 

And it's gotten so bad that there's kids that don't have a conscience at all, and go as far as shooting their own parents, decapitating the heads of their mothers, etc., and the madness goes on and on. Parents need to be parents and not friends to their kids, single mothers must be strong and firm raising kids on thier own, especially when it comes to little boys, or else they are going to get run over. I don't and never had to spank my daughter because she respects me, but I'm an advocate for spanking if kids truly need it.

 

Fabulous way of putting it hugs!

 

There is a difference between smacking and abuse, in the parents head!, being a child is hard! As is being a parent..
It the hardest job in the world being a parent.. I'm glad it done lol

 

That was well put! You're awesome, Hugs!

 

I only had one rule that was strictly enforced when I was a kid. I could run free from morning 'till 6 pm every day, but I better be home at 6pm to eat supper. If I wasn't--I got cornered in the bathroom and had welts raised on my back from a grape=vine switch. I looked at it this way--if I broke the rule--I got the switch and rightfully so because I knew what would happen. So, I took my medicine and "liked it." I could even go back out after supper to play---but I BETTER have been there at 6. I never held it against her, but it would be big trouble to do that now.

 

I probably would have disagreed with this just a few weeks ago

There is mounting evidence that shows people who were spanked are more likely to grow up to be abusive towards their spouses, there is other evidence that indicates spanking isnt mentally healthy for a child

I've always been of the mind that you should teach your child how to regulate their emotions amd violence wasnt a good way to do that

I've always relied on a few different techniques ...if my son is really worked up we'll do deep breathing. I'm sure that sounds hippie dippie as hell lol but it works, it teaches him self control
And I'm a big fan of time puts for the same reason

BUT...a couple of weeks ago he wouldn't stop whining/back talking long enough to even listen to the punishment I was ready to dole out

So I popped him on the butt. For the first time ever. And it got his attention, he shut up very quickly

So my opinion shifted a bit. But I still dont think excessive spanking in order to cause physical pain is a good punishment. It just doesnt make logical sense to me. How do you teach a child not to hit others, to work through their emotions in a calm manner rather than lashing out physically..if you're lashing out physically?

But I do think a quick swat to the bottom to get their attention is fine and not remotely abusive.

Also just to point out crime is likely correlated with poverty, not spanking. And I can't speak for the UK but crime in the US has been falling for decades

 

That is your thing

 

I would definitely consider it to be abuse, but like Aerianne said, you should really convey your concerns to someone more qualified.

 

I'm not sure the spanking qualifies as abuse--as long as it was a true spanking and not, like, getting clobbered in the face or something--but the standing naked in the corner thing is bizarre to say the least.

I agree with Aeri and Soul: you should probably talk to someone

 

More qualified on being spanked in the nude by your mum as a kid?

Or medical qualifications, someone that maybe did one semester at University, effects on being spanked in the nude by your mom 101

Always annoys me, because its such a cop out, we cant give him an answer, so let him go to some that studied at Uni for 3 to 10 years (studied subjects mostly unrelated to this) so they can pretend they know the answer

Even if he did go, spend thousands on therapy, it still happened, he is still not going to get it out of his head, never had the experience of a "normal" mother

What magical answer do you think a psycholgist is going to come up with?, methods that nowadays are easily searchable on the internet, what magical answer do you think there is that is totally unexplainable to us that he can only go to an "expert" for the solution

Maybe the only answer is, shit happens, and you have to deal with it anyway

 

I find this thread disturbing, and yes, it is abusive....The child is 10...the parent is older. What makes it right for anyone to barge into a bathroom, anyone's private space...and grab someone nude, especially a child....and put them in a corner nude for an hour. I would always be looking over my shoulder after that in any bathroom. How horrific AND SICK !

 

The Kid

The Kid Did Something Wrong.......He Got Smacked Out For It In The Privacy Of His Home.......

Not Out In The Street For Everybody To Witness.....You Need To "Harden The Fuck Up"

My Dear......Seems To Me You Have Lived A Very Sheltered Life......



Cheers Glen.

 

Oh, reallY! Shows me how much you really know....about me.....Seems to me you are quick to judgement of what i know or what I have been through, my dear.

I guess you would not have minded if your mother put you in a corner nude for an hour.....

It is wrong....period.

 

What I Do Know Moonglow Is That You Totally Overreact To Everyday Events That The

Rest Of Us Take For Granted.....



Cheers Glen.

 

How so and what do you mean?

...Now, being a female...if my father had done something like that to me...I think I would have trust issues with men for the rest of my life. I can put my self in the shoes of the other foot with empathy and knowing how I would feel.....
I don't need Dr. Spock's advice on what to do and not do...let the baby cry...don't let the baby cry and on and on with all of the books and theories...it is instinctual or not.