Is Marriage Just Crap ?

Discussion in 'True Love' started by undefeated, Apr 2, 2016.

  1. Noserider

    Noserider Goofy-Footed Member

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    Feminism has divided the sexes? Feminism is about equality. Maybe it's only my little corner of the world, but in my experience, it's the men who love to remind everyone that the sexes aren't equal.
     
    la Principessa and Irminsul like this.
  2. Pressed_Rat

    Pressed_Rat Do you even lift, bruh?

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    Equality? You really believe that crap?? I am talking radical, third/fourth wave, post-modernist feminism... not Elizabeth Cady Stanton.
     
  3. Noserider

    Noserider Goofy-Footed Member

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    Are you suggesting that third wave feminism--which has been dead for years and has long since been replaced by a fourth "wave"--advocated female superiority?
     
  4. Irminsul

    Irminsul Valkyrie

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    I think the reason why marriages don't work is because people don't know each other. Time and time again I hear of people getting married so soon, before they even live with each other. I'm not sure how that's meant to work. They only find out how their new parter is like after they've been married. That's not healthy. And then it comes down to communication. I mean we as people change. Our interests change and our desires change. If you cannot adapt to new scenarios and adapt to the probability that what works now won't in 5 or 10 years then I don't see that relationship working out. Especially in the bedroom. And if you can't tell your partner the truth in how you're feeling or what you're feeling, it's just not going to work.
     
  5. snowtiggernd

    snowtiggernd Member

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    All I learned from mine was that lawyers are little pricks.
     
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  6. Irminsul

    Irminsul Valkyrie

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    Well all I can tell y'all is that, I'm not going to be a statistic.
     
  7. Noserider

    Noserider Goofy-Footed Member

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    tell dem !
     
  8. Meliai

    Meliai Banned

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    Marriage isnt really for me, its just one of those traditions I dont really see the point in for myself or my relationship. I'm not religious so there's that. I also dont really feel the need for the ceremony, thinking about it actually makes me cringe. I would definitely elope if i did get married.

    I can understand the practical considerations and being recognized legally as a married couple for various reasons. Health insurance seems like a good reason to get married (i'm a real romantic)

    But i like when other people get married and invite me to their wedding. I love weddings.
     
  9. Irminsul

    Irminsul Valkyrie

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    For me it was 15 years in the making, at the end of the day, I said to myself, she's who I want to spend the rest of my life with. She gets me. Not too many people get me. She puts up with my shit, my good times and my bad times. She loves my qwerks and she's open and very trusting of me. I really do think we are best friends and soul mates and the way I felt was, that's deserving of a bigger commitment. I'm very medieval and feudal which I find an extremely romantic era in history.

    As a new young wife, I look at myself as her Champion. I made oaths to her and those oaths mean a lot to us. Well actually the oaths were made by the two of us we had no personal vowels we made oaths instead. For a medieval girl, those oaths weren't just something to sound good at the ceremony, they meant a lot to us. They mean everything to me and like I said about not becoming a static is that I'm going to honour every word of our oaths.

    See we shaded them in the wording. People who know me a little better here know I'm kinda open with other people, which my wife knows how important that is to me, so there is no vowel or oath about "you and only you" we didn't go for that. Our oaths are more about caring for each other and we could get away with that by not bringing a mainstream religious doctrine into our ceremony.

    My advice is to also actually read and study what you're committing to because I find that when people go for a traditional marriage under religious doctrines they go for the nice sentiment in their vowels, but do they actually believe in it? When you answer 'I do' do you really? Think how sad that really is. That one moment, those 2 minutes on this beautiful day and you answer "I do" knowing fully aware in the back of your mind that you don't. Lying to yourself and your partner from the get go doesn't sit with me very well. Then you need to also ask yourself, are these vowels actually for us? Because I've heard too, people say, we just say I do because we have to. You don't, so to take time and effort into producing your own best outcome I think is critical.
     
  10. la Principessa

    la Principessa Old School HF Member

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    I agree that people usually get married too fast. I don't believe in "just knowing" they're the one and running with it. I have so many friends who are in their mid twenties and they're divorced already because they got married to some guy straight out of high school. Plus a few of them popped out a kid or two before they decided the marriage was over, and that makes it even more sad.

    I'm definitely an advocate for living together first. See what they're like when they get home from a terrible day at work, when they're tired, when they're in a good mood, and figure out how to deal with the bad and the good things. Decide if you want to do that for the rest of your life.

    I want to get married, and I love my girlfriend. We get along together well and we have the same values when it comes to finances, child rearing, and we even have similar style when it comes to decorating lol so that helps if we ever renovate a house. At least we won't argue.

    We've been together almost four years and we're seriously talking about marriage. We agreed that we want to get engaged soon and have at least a year long engagement so we can enjoy it and discuss and not rush into it. I feel that if people are in a hurry, they're doing it for the wrong reasons.
     
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  11. unfocusedanakin

    unfocusedanakin The Archaic Revival Lifetime Supporter

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    Ah the old white man who hates feminists. Lol your hatred is doing so much more to bring that kind of attitude from women than the actual feminism itself. Which yes can be misused by crazy women.

    You are angry and feel women should behave in a "tradinonal" way when they don't it leads to more anger. That is what they notice.
     
  12. Total Darkness

    Total Darkness 100% Cocoa

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    Never been married so can't say whether its crap or not. Definitely not something i would do.

    Don't care for weddings either. It might as well be an overly formal costume party for me.
     
  13. Just for fun

    Just for fun Live your best life

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    Traditional marriage causes women to lose their independence and become jealous and a plethora of other thinks too long to list. Stay single stay independent. Love being with your partner more than being stuck in a contract.
     
  14. MikeE

    MikeE Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

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    I still maintain the "being stuck in a contract" (i.e. the hassle of filing for divorce and all that crap) is a useful crutch to get a couple through the bad (but not bad enough to fill out forms) times.
     
  15. Meliai

    Meliai Banned

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    ^i'm actually contemplating marriage now for the first time ever, sort of because of the inverse reason of that. My partner and I have weathered some rough storms this year and both of us could have thrown in the towel at any moment, it would be easy enough to walk away. But we didnt. And now I have a very secure feeling about our relationship,I know we're still here because we want to be and no other reason.

    And that seems a better reason than any to finally get married. That and, his job doesnt offer health insurance and he really needs it :sweatsmile:

    So...now we're contemplating an elopement. It would be spontaneous, sometime when we have a chance to take a romantic vacation just the two of us.
    The thought of actually planning a wedding..just..ugh. No
     
  16. Irminsul

    Irminsul Valkyrie

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    If you plan your wedding the way YOU want it to go, Mel, I can assure you it's fun. :) the moment others have ideas and regulations etc. The fun is robbed.

    I know mine was a bit different and "out there" to a traditional wedding, well not really out there just some folks don't understand it and find it weird, a handfast, I've never heard of that rah rah rah.

    I don't know. I don't know what I'm trying to say. Just dream :) and make it happen the way you want it to happen.
     
    Meliai likes this.
  17. Oh I like this.

    I am so happy that my sister married young and had a big wedding. My family had that experience and got that out of their system.
    Now I'm free to do whatever I want.
    And old enough that nobody cares anymore :tearsofjoy:

    I still want a pretty dress and lil cakes though.
     
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  18. Irminsul

    Irminsul Valkyrie

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    I felt the same way when my sister had children lol. Sweet pressure is off :p
     
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  19. Total Darkness

    Total Darkness 100% Cocoa

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    My brother is the one that got married and now has a child. So my family got to experience a big wedding and being a grandparent from him.

    I don't cave into pressure so i never felt any.
     

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