Is Marriage Just Crap ?

Touche

 

Marriage doesn't mean anything if there's not a solid relationship behind it- which is harder to find these days, because people are being programmed to create dysfunctional relationships and just walk away if it's not "perfect". You get it in music, movies, television...glamorization of abuse, cheating, and sex. Most people don't even know themselves, yet rush into sex, and then a relationship, then marriage (usually with kids involved). No one tells them being married doesn't change the person you're with, and it doesn't change who YOU are. If you had problems before marriage, they'll still be there after.

This programming isn't isolated to romantic relationships either- more and more you see people without strong, long-term friendships and without strong familial connections. All relationships take work, sometimes really hard work. You have to decide if it's worth the work.

But in the long run, if you've put in the work, and you've got the solid relationship, marriage still doesn't mean anything It's just personal preference at that point.

 

Marriage isn’t crap... if you put in the time with someone you love and realize that you still love that person after the honeymoon phase dies down, after you find out all of their little quirks and imperfections and still enjoy spending every day with them... then yeah it’s worth it... I’m not married but I know that feeling

 

I like the concept of being tied to someone. Someone who truly loves, you, you know? Everything you are...your history, etc. Some people think they own the right to "legally" marry other people, which is obviously vomit. I feel that nature legally marries people, and it wouldn't matter if you had a paper to prove it or anything. But it seems many don't believe in that anymore. They don't believe in the soul, everything is means to be human. And you can snicker and laugh like a scared little bitch if you want, but many of us are still warriors, and we will take up swords and axes if we must.

 

No point tieing yourself to someone if you don't do a hand binding ceremony
We are handfasting, and I'm in the process of making the tie myself.

 

You specify that marriage is crap "for western men." What would the perfect straight marriage look like, for both partners? But, mostly for the man.

 

I was in the middle of writing a substantial, well thought out response to your question when I remembered I just don't care to discuss these topics anymore. XD

People do what they will, I'm indifferent to it all at this point.

 

Just my opinion, but long term relationships at this point in modern society carries about as much love and commitment as a bag of hammers.
Short term, enjoy it while you can, tomorrow is never promised. Just like life in general.
Like said above ^^^^ "People do what they will, I'm indifferent to it all at this point." Truth.

 

Stellar-

Bummer, because I would like to know.

 

It just means he's still angry they dont put out enough

In 10 years he'll probably be married to the "women of his dreams" "have such a wonderful connection" blah blah blah all that shit

i.e once having someone warm in bed, to watch TV with every night becomes more important getting his rocks off every night......a more female friendly attitude


Of course then he will turn into one of those annoying so and so's astounding us with his expertise on marriage, like this guy:

 

I think the cliches count here: It's not for everyone, you get out of it what you put in, it's hard work, etc.

Some people make marriage work because they choose to.

 

I don't think I'll have a problem, I've been with the same person over half my life now. We are married already.
No, the hardest part so far was finding dresses, but even that wasn't so bad. I only see good things in the forthcoming future.

 

So far, my marriage isn't ''hard.'' I think that if you marry the wrong person, it's hard. And I think that it's only hard if you try to convince yourself that you need to remain in a bad situation, just because you took vows with someone. Marriage like any relationship, takes love, patience and effort...but if your marriage or relationship becomes ''work,'' then you're likely with the wrong person.

 

You going to like have Nascars to take you two to the church?

 

No church. We have a lady celebrant coming from Iceland, and reserved a small, cute, quiet little fountain. maybe 7 people all up. 7 maximum.

 

Nice. If I ever get married I'll have a small, intimate wedding like that too

 

Well, you have a point when you say that. More and more marriages are ending in divorce nowadays. There are so many factors contributing to divorce these days such as the advancements in technology, online dating, social media. It’s really a completely different world than it was 20-30 years ago. With our smartphones, we have the world at the tip of our fingers and can connect with anyone, at any given moment. There are also the increasingly common “hookups”. These hookups are seem to be happening a lot more that the typical committed relationship. Hookups are defined as uncommitted sex with an acquaintance (Levay & Baldwin, 2012, p. 290). Society’s changes in attitudes towards sex and commitment have really changed the scene and the way modern day relationships work.

With all this being said, there are still many of us who see the value in marriage and are still looking for our soulmates. Some of us could very well stumble upon our soulmates through one of these hookups. In my case, I feel that I’ve found that person and have spent 10 great years with him. It has definitely not been the picture perfect fairytale that I was brought up to believe marriage was. It has been a lot of hard work and a constant balancing act of different elements that keep our marriage functioning. That concept of hard work may also be fading amongst this younger generation and that might also be contributing to high number of divorces; people simply don’t want to put in the work.

I feel that the tone in your post is a bit somber, but I hope you don’t give up on finding your soulmate (if that is what you really desire). Don’t let the current trends get you down. Marriage still holds value to many people and if you’re willing to do what it takes to make it work, you will find that it’s truly a rewarding commitment.

References

Levay, S., & Baldwin, J. I. (2012). Human sexuality. Sunderland, MA: Sinauer Associates, Inc.​

 

Well, being that I'm getting married tomorrow, I say no. Of course, has to be with the right person. The very idea of marriage means you should only go through with it if you're 100% sure about it and you love that person, and for me, I am 150% sure. I can't wait to marry her.

 

Marriage...nowadays?
Bla-hahaha (down on my knees slapping my hand on the floor, laughing so hard I have the hiccups now, dammit)
I wouldn't call it crap, though I've witnessed it first hand lol...(accent on the word "hand", Beavis and Butt-Head style)

Not MY cup of tea anymore...but to each their own.
I don't believe in unicorns. They make pretty ornaments, but...ummm yeah.
Wrong society for marriage these days. I'm not a gambler.

 

I'm getting married in August

 

^^ congratulations.

I also got married in August. (Central CA)
The first thing I said to my wife after the ceremony was "Oh my God, you're wearing nail polish."
The first thing she said to me when we were alone was "Get me out of this dress" and, no, she wasn't horny.

Have a good time and remember, it's only one day, you can put up with anything for one day.
The things that you will remember fondly in the future are the things that went wrong.