Is Marriage Just Crap ?

Marriage works well for many, many people, that being said the problems: are

A) Sometimes people do it for the wrong reasons (same goes with jobs & having kids tbf).
B) Sometimes people marry totally the wrong person.
C) I do not believe marriage is truly necessary for many people....a lot of it just comes down to wanting/needing to fit in IMO.
D) Dudes that divorced often get TOTALLY screwed over! + In all honesty (with the exception of religious guys) most of the guys that I've talked to about marriage don't really care about it....it appears they do it mostly to please their lady tbh.

 

I've been there done that got the t-shirt! I'm against my marriage sure!
Know i wont do it again! But it's not always like that..I know some happy couples.

 

See the screwed over thing gets me all the time!

Other than what you take into the marriage, which you take in! Shouldn't it at least be shared equally?

 

I think many confuse the boredom of marriage with the boredom of ageing/life


Single or not, we all kind of end up in the same place.....having a nap, the most important part of our day

 

[SIZE=12pt]Well, I don’t think that I’d go as far as to say that marriage is “crap”, but it has definitely changed a lot over time. Nowadays it feels like things just aren’t as simple as they once were and that the institution of marriage is no longer a primary goal in life. People have become much more focused on personal satisfaction and gratification and the conditions necessary for a successful marriage have changed. Of course, the components for a successful marriage will vary from couple to couple, let’s always keep that in mind. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Marriage can be very rewarding and fulfilling to some and it can be a complete nightmare for others. Some couples decide to give a potential marriage partner a “trial run” by living together or cohabiting prior to making a bigger commitment. This has definitely impacted marriage numbers. Also, nowadays it is a lot tougher to financially afford it. Financial stressors are a huge contributing factor to divorce so that’s another ding to marriage rates. And yes, there are some that just don’t see the need to marry but are still committed in their relationships. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Marriage isn’t for everyone but today the majority of our American society thinks that is still has value and an attractive institution (Levay & Baldwin, 2012, p. 424). There are also those who deviate from the “normal” definition of marriage to make it work better for them. An example of this would be swingers who engage in sex with other individuals as a way of getting around any type of deception and to keep their relationships happy (Levay & Baldwin, 2012, p. 422). The levels of satisfaction also experience changes throughout the course of the marriage in what we can a U shaped pattern. However, couples normally report coming back to a satisfying level of happiness in time.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Whatever you reason for your post, just know that you do have a point. Marriage has changed. It isn’t the same for everyone and there is so much that is involved in it. It’s hard to make it work. Also, today there are so many new elements that make things even more complicated to manage. Regardless of the changes that marriage has undergone over time, if you find a partner worth the commitment and energy, you’ll find ways to make things work. Just because you see others swinging and missing doesn’t necessarily mean that you will; give it a chance [/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]References[/SIZE]​

[SIZE=12pt]Levay, S., & Baldwin, J. I. (2012). [/SIZE][SIZE=12pt]Human sexuality[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt]. Sunderland, MA: Sinauer Associates, Inc.[/SIZE]

 

Marrying in May.

 

Lol, references? Seriously

For those at Hip forums unsure what a swinger was, and needed the reference to a textbook in case they doubted you

 

I'm not going to be a statistic. I'm staying with married until one of us dies.

 

That would still make you a statistic

Number of Widowed Wesbians

Elmer Fudd could announce census data, Widowed Wesbians from Wurzburg

 

^^^........



Cheers Glen.

 

Are you trying alliteration here? Because Wurzburg isn't pronounced with an English "w" sound.

 

I'm not married and have an overall distrust of relationships unfortunately. I haven't been in a long term relationship since the year 2000 or something, unless I'm forgetting someone. I also do not want children, so this may be one of the reasons I am not motivated to actively seek out a relationship. I miss the sex though, somewhat. I think that's something I could stand to have another go at; though my sciatica makes it less than practical.

 

There is a saying that I love that is quite applicable here:

The greatest irony in life is that the most important decisions you make in your life come at a time you are the least capable of making them.

 

Jane and I started off with your attitude to marriage and we are still together after 38 years. Starting off with the right attitude is the main key to success, so hopefully you will beat our record and have a few police officers along the way. .

 

I've been with my girl officially for like 15 years now, so we are ready pretty much married. Hehe.

 

I think Elmer Fudd trying a bavarian accent would still go with the W

 

Most cars bought are sold by their owners in a few years.

A marriage that ends in divorce is not necessarily a bad thing. It depends on whether the two people involved divorce well.

A couple who joins their lives (and their assets) as one is a good thing. The skill comes in disengaging with as much care as one uses when becoming engaged.

 

Or starting off with meh, he/she'll do, he/he'll do, she/she'll do and being too scared/lazy to change is the key to "success"

 

I think that the ability to do things together is imperative. Like going to the gym together! When I imagine a healthy relationship, I think about that sort of stuff. Or walking together at the beach.

 

I think people probably just get too involved too quickly without even knowing each other. Like I've been with my girl half my life now and known her longer, loved her longer. There's nothing left to know about her, I know her and I love her as she knows me and loves me too. Other people, I dunno about other people always talking about past things get bought up. Sounds real petty but our past has always been together so we don't have to deal with any of that, those people obviously didn't know each other well enough, like if the wife slept around when she was younger the hubby didn't know her then she suppresses it and he finds out he feels betrayed etc. They don't know each other.

Plus you're still growing when you're 20. Hell I said it before what I was into at 20 isn't what I'm into at 30, wasn't what I was into at 25 and I'm sure I'll shift again by 35. My point here is we change, our interests change and if you cannot communicate your changes and express new interests to your partner then you're just going to go down a long sad road of being miserable because you're partner doesn't get you or you're too afraid to tell your partner because they might not feel the same way. And I'm sure, just from reading this site for 7 years, that it's pretty common which leads me to wonder why people get married to people they can't open up to in the first place. Like that's why you get married to that special someone. Because you should be able to open up without fears. That's why you marry that special person.